Let's Spread Rumors

[Fujimoto]

^ puts high fructose corn syrup on everything.

[Sprelious]

^ Has the Pirate locked in a closet. She opens the door occasionally and snaps him with his eyepatch.

[gracious]

< Actually only puts HFCS on my pirate.

^ Has taught my pirate's parrot some truly foul phrases.

[Fujimoto]

^ Owns a large wooden ship called Diversity.

[Sprelious]

^ Knows I've never met her Pirate's Parrot and those phrases were learned much closer to home

[Lunammi]

^ likes to starve.

[Fujimoto]

^ subsists on dust bunnies and ice cubes. Cuts crumbs in half.

[Lunammi]

^ killed the mockingbird.

[thebrainpolice]

^^ Ate nothing but cheese whiz for 2 weeks straight.

^ Failed English in high school 3 years in a row.

[Lunammi]

^ used to eat glue in middle school.

[jkatra]

^Is eating glue right now on tortilla chips.

[Espadrille]

^eats tortilla chips made from sawdust.

[jkatra]

^Was eaten by wild boars 6 years ago.

[Espadrille]

^hasn't stopped whining for 6 years.

[jkatra]

^Likes to whine about the inevitability of our probable untimely deaths.

[Espadrille]

^holds a record for faux pas.

[jkatra]

^Could be responsible for as many as 27 million lost golf balls.

[Gerard91]

^ works at Taco Bell

[jkatra]

^Steals staples from staplers.

[Sprelious]

^ Has a red swingline.

[Wry Satyr]

has a swing line on speed dial.

[jkatra]

^On trial right now in a court of law for being slightly not nice during a brief elevator conversation.

[Wry Satyr]

^was the person who clumsily fell down the airshaft.

[IronSulfide]

^ Once mistook a garbage chute for an emergency exit.

[Wry Satyr]

^turned a dumb waiter into a personal condo.

[IronSulfide]

^ strolls backwards on moving walks just to piss people off.

[gracious]

^ Moonwalks everywhere he goes.

[IronSulfide]

^ Can turn her head 360 degrees.

[gracious]

^ Had his head soldered to his neck so it would stop falling off.

[jkatra]

^Throws boulders at people who wander under the bridge where she lives.

[IronSulfide]

^ Wears a necklace of computer keys.

[gracious]

^ Tries to include 6 tildes (~) in each of his work communications.

[jkatra]

^Accidentally forgot that she isn't immortal.

[gracious]

^ Set me on fire to remind me of that fact.

[IronSulfide]

^ Stands on a street corner throwing feces at pedestrians.

[jkatra]

^Says he is happy to meet you but is not actually happy to meet you.

[Wry Satyr]

^ can't remember what happiness feels like.

[IronSulfide]

^ knows only disappointment.

[jkatra]

^Is bitter that he didn't get to buy the first banana of the season.

[gracious]

The only locally-grown produce where ^ lives is mould.

[IronSulfide]

^ Was so angry at his greengrocer for selling him a bruised mango that he planted drugs in the store and called in an anonymous tip in to the police.

Edit - snaked.

[Sprelious]

^ Has a snake collection

[gracious]

^^ Prefers his fruit in the form of a 'rollup'

[Sprelious]

^ Prefers Gummie Bears

[gracious]

^ Only consumes fruit in daiquiris and is very particular about the colour of the paper umbrellas in his glass.

[jkatra]

^Thinks pineapple is made of pines and apples.

[Espadrille]

Thinks computer chips are edible.

[jkatra]

^Wants everyone to be a friend.

[venuspop]

^ is a FWB

[Espadrille]

^chews rubber bands.

[Wry Satyr]

^puts rubber bands around the ears of pets and laughs while the poor animals writhe about trying to free themselves from their bonds.

[jkatra]

^Lost at sea.

[Wry Satyr]

^constant motion prevents any sleep, disrupting alpha waves, and causing a schism. Only friends now are quarks, photons, and tachyons.

[Sprelious]

^ Has a Positronic Brain

[gracious]

^ Ate his 'emotions' computer chip as a late night snack.

[Wry Satyr]

^purposely left out the emotion chip to said positronic brain.

[Sprelious]

^ Calls his maker "Dad".

[IronSulfide]

^ Believes snow angels are sacrilegious.

[thebrainpolice]

^ Thinks its racist that angel food cake is white and devil food cake is black.

[IronSulfide]

^ Keeps all of his ebony and ivory in separate compartments.

[jkatra]

^Has an elephant as his personal accountant.

[IronSulfide]

^ Poached my personal accountant for its tusks. Clearly fails to appreciate how difficult it is to find a good personal accountant.

[Wry Satyr]

^Sobs and clutches at the ivory of said accountant who bailed.

[Sprelious]

^ Is important

[Lunammi]

^ is the most beautiful person in the whole world.

[Wry Satyr]

^^wanted to crown his shadow as the King of Darkness.

^Is as pensive in reality as her sketched out avatar.

[Lunammi]

^ doesn't have a spine.

[Sprelious]

^ Makes jelly out of small woodland creatures.

[thebrainpolice]

^ Spread's ^^'s jelly on his toast.

[Wry Satyr]

^eats said jelly spread over toad stools.

[jkatra]

^^^Gets investment advice in international markets from small woodland creatures.

[Lunammi]

^ sells small woodland creatures on internet.

[Wry Satyr]

^was caught selling insider information to woodland creatures.

[Lunammi]

^ was the one who gave me the information.

[Wry Satyr]

^stole my spine. Give it back, damn it!

[jkatra]

^Doesn't like information and wish it would go away.

[Lunammi]

^ kicks trees for a living.

[Wry Satyr]

^erases mistakes for a favorite past time.

[Lunammi]

^ claims he/she have never made a mistake.

[jkatra]

^Intentionally makes mistakes to drive people crazy.

[Lunammi]

^loves when people drive him/her crazy.

[thebrainpolice]

^ Is too lazy to click on jkatra's profile to find out his/her gender.

[gracious]

^^ Refuses to drink from crazy straws.

[Wry Satyr]

^carries her crazy straw with her everywhere she goes.

[Lunammi]

^ likes to set his/her house on fire from time to time.

^^^ that's not a rumor.

[thebrainpolice]

Drank whiskey for breakfast.

< double snaked.

[gracious]

^^^ Intentionally makes milkshakes that are too thick for straws.

[Lunammi]

^ doesn't like science at all.

[gracious]

^ Thinks evolution is devil talk.

[Lunammi]

^ believes there's no evolution.

[thebrainpolice]

^ Thinks the fossil record was planted by Satan.

[Lunammi]

^ is brainless

[gracious]

^ Melted when Dorothy threw a bucket of water at her.

[Lunammi]

^ encouraged Dorothy to do that.

[thebrainpolice]

^ Played one of the flying monkeys in the movie.

[gracious]

^ Throws matches at scarecrows.

[Sprelious]

^ Is looking for a heart

[thebrainpolice]

^ Recycles tin men.

[Sprelious]

^ Doesn't ignore the man behind the curtain

[gracious]

^ Believes Maine and Kansas share a border.

[Sprelious]

^ Believes Canada and the US share a culture.

[gracious]

^ Believes culture should only be in yogourt.

[jkatra]

^Is a living scarecrow.

[gracious]

^ Is actually Rick Astley.

[Espadrille]

^doesn't know which end is up.

[jkatra]

^Believes that tomorrow is always worse than today.

[Espadrille]

^looks in the mirror and believes the worse.

[jkatra]

^Doesn't own a mirror.

[Espadrille]

^has 5 mirrors just in the bathroom.

[jkatra]

^Doesn't cast a reflection in mirrors.

[Espadrille]

^never reflects before acting.

[gracious]

^ Acts in cheesy commercials.

[jkatra]

^Is directly behind you.

[gracious]

It's true, I am.

[thebrainpolice]

^ Is watching jkatra at all times.

[gracious]

^Rifled through my purse while I was busy watching jkatra.

[Sprelious]

^ Took my wallet and used my Credit Card to buy Woman Stuff.

[Espadrille]

^stuffed a woman into the luggage compartment.

[IronSulfide]

^ skateboards to work.

[Espadrille]

Has never worked.

[IronSulfide]

^ Is currently slurping back rabbit's head soup.

[jkatra]

^Takes baths in iron sulfide.

[Espadrille]

^Bathes only on a whim.

[IronSulfide]

^ Believes in mandatory communal bathing.

[thebrainpolice]

^ Uses his armpits as a fungus farm.

[jkatra]

^Has no dreams.

[IronSulfide]

^ is actually an alien parasite in a human host.

[jkatra]

^Would like to introduce you to an exciting new product that is guaranteed to make your floors shine.

[IronSulfide]

^ Secretes resin.

[jkatra]

^Cat lady.

[Sprelious]

^ Is tapped in Vermont.

[gracious]

^ Has never been outside of Maine.

[Sprelious]

^ Has never been into Maine.

[gracious]

^ Has built a moat around his house.

[Sprelious]

^ Uses her Drawbridge to squash Jehovah Witnesses.

[gracious]

Uses a To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 15 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. on them at his house.

[Espadrille]

^is unable to be gracious to guests in her own house.

[gracious]

^Hoards masks and ears so she can no longer have guests.

[Espadrille]

Only has guests who do all the dishes and laundry.

[gracious]

^ Steals my soap.

[Espadrille]

Steals shoes.

[thebrainpolice]

Wears slippers to work.

[IronSulfide]

^ Fancies Crocs.

[thebrainpolice]

^ Owns a designer man purse.

[gracious]

^ Wears Jimmy Choo shoes just because the name makes him giggle.

[IronSulfide]

^ Wears clogs.

[gracious]

Shower drain is clogged with shedded chest hair from ^'s girlfriend.

[IronSulfide]

^ Rifles through people's desks at work after they leave.

[thebrainpolice]

^ Keeps a picture of his mistress on his desk at work.

[IronSulfide]

^ Keeps a childhood photo of himself on his desk at work.

[gracious]

^ Keeps a 365 day Oprah wisdom calendar on his desk at work.

[thebrainpolice]

^ Tried to swallow a fist full of pills when Oprah's show got cancelled.

[gracious]

^ Sold me the pills. Turns out they were vitamin D.

[Fujimoto]

^ believes that raisins have mystical healing powers.

[Espadrille]

^eats off the floor.

[Sprelious]

^Has a secret black hole.

[Espadrille]

^can't keep a secret.

[Sprelious]

^ Secretly admires Justin Bieber.

[thebrainpolice]

^ Has every Celine Dion album.

[jkatra]

^Is a threat to democracy.

[Sprelious]

^^ Shhhhh

^ Has a Ron Paul tattoo.

[jkatra]

^Asks people to remain quiet during library hours.

[thebrainpolice]

^^Reads Lew Rockwell every day.

^Blasts 80s hair metal music in libraries.

[Sprelious]

^ Has A Rockwell Drill that he used to operate on Rush Limbaugh.

[IronSulfide]

^ Guards a clutch of dragon eggs.

[jkatra]

^Waiting for the world to end.

[IronSulfide]

^ Keeps trying to compel me to disclose the location of the doomsday device.

[Espadrille]

^has delusional fantasies about Armageddon.

[jkatra]

^She can check out anytime she wants but she can never leave.

[Reizu]

^Set his house on fire whilst trying to make Easy-Mac.

[Sprelious]

^ Can't screw in a light bulb.

[Espadrille]

^doesn't know how to recycle light bulbs.

[Sprelious]

^ Doesn't know how to recycle plastic.

[Espadrille]

^Doesn't know how to operate a toaster.

[Sprelious]

^ Doesn't own a Whoopie Cushion.

[jkatra]

^Owns 10,347 Whoopie cushions.

[Sprelious]

^ Has sat on all of them.

[thebrainpolice]

^ Has 10,347 fart jokes and his coworkers have heard them all.

[Sprelious]

^ Has a fake nose and moustache collection.

[thebrainpolice]

^ Goes to the same plastic surgeon as Micheal Jackson.

[Sprelious]

^ Has the same doctor as Micheal Jackson and has the pills to prove it.

[thebrainpolice]

^ Thinks modern medicine is a scam and only consults witch doctors.

[Wry Satyr]

^believes that modern medicine is infallible.

[thebrainpolice]

^ Thinks watching several episodes of Scrubs makes him qualified to practice medicine.

[Wry Satyr]

^Pointedly votes against socialized medicine to deny the population REASONABLE coverage.

[thebrainpolice]

^ Thinks I would actually vote Republican. Pfft.

[Lunammi]

^ makes sense.

[Wry Satyr]

^is uncommonly reasonable today.

[Lunammi]

^'s IQ=0.

[Wry Satyr]

^is suddenly back to normal.

[Lunammi]

^ is always normal.

[Wry Satyr]

^is full of hate and lives on the pity of others.

[Lunammi]

^ knows too much.

[Espadrille]

^drinks too much.

[Wry Satyr]

^thinks too much.

[Espadrille]

^stinks too much.

[thebrainpolice]

^ blinks too much.

[Wry Satyr]

^winks too much.

[Sprelious]

^ Finks too much.

[Wry Satyr]

^pinks too much.

[Sprelious]

Hijinks too much.

[Wry Satyr]

Co-inkidinks too much.

[Sprelious]

Jinx^ Banned.

[Wry Satyr]

Pet lynx ban

[gracious]

1) Kinks ban.

2) ^Likes to switch thread topics (i.e. rumours to bans).

[jkatra]

^Obsessed with insightful numbered lists.

[thebrainpolice]

^ Obsessed with colorful avatars.

[jkatra]

^Brother of Richard Nixon.

[Reizu]

^Attempted an assassination of Richard Nixon, accidentally shot his partner in crime.

[Espadrille]

^accidentally shot herself during a crime.

[gracious]

Mistook a fire extinguisher for her asthma puffer.

[Reizu]

^Doesn't like pie.

[IronSulfide]

^ Has a thing for Pac-Man.

[Reizu]

^Enjoys watching Maury while naked.

[Espadrille]

^never picks up after herself.

[jkatra]

^Smooth criminal.

[Reizu]

^Is late, is late, for a very important date.

[jkatra]

^Followed the white rabbit into a pile of dog crap.

[Espadrille]

^doesn't know when to stop.

[reiven]

Espadrille is the name of Merck's new anti-acne/morning-after pill.

[GenessorDios]

^'s idea of a romantic evening is gently licking his palm.

[reiven]

^'s idea of a romantic evening is gently licking my palm.

[thebrainpolice]

^ Lets his dozens of pet rats eat out of the palm of his hand.

[reiven]

^ has a grass skirt made from sinsemilla.
very practical fellow, that one^

[GenessorDios]

As ^'s life ebbs away, he begs for mercy, but then he gets up and starts fighting again. Doesn't make sense, does it?

[reiven]

^ is still only half the man i used to be.

[EmmaKynikos]

was last seen wearing a polka dot dress and singing "if i only had a brain"

[GenessorDios]

^ has spent years trying to perfect her technique of moonwalking up stairs.

[EmmaKynikos]

is still trying to find "gone with the wind" for his vcr

[Espadrille]

^^has never tried to perfect anything.

^still uses a vcr.

[GenessorDios]

When teachers were grading rumors, ^'s entry got a grade of "", because they thought it was a bit of scrap paper.

[EmmaKynikos]

is the real sultan of swing. he will confirm it only when you whisper "apples" in his left ear.

[GenessorDios]

Mark my words, ^ said. I gave it a C.

[EmmaKynikos]

once had a popular lemonade stand, except that yellow liquid wasn't made from lemons

[Lunammi]

^ have never went to school.

[Reizu]

^Sings "Bingo was his Name-o" in the shower.

[Lunammi]

^ sings "Space age love song" when he/she notice couples on the street.

[EmmaKynikos]

failed so many personality tests that meyers and briggs committed suicide

[GenessorDios]

Pennies hate ^ so much, they defy gravity when she flips one and carry on to space.

[EmmaKynikos]

is really a mafia inforcer

[jkatra]

^Original inventor of Fight Club.

[reiven]

^ suggested that the Sharpie Corp invent a sidewalk-chalk product line.

[jkatra]

^Won't stop dancing.

[EmmaKynikos]

begs to see what's in my basement, yet won't pay my fee

[Sprelious]

^ Coined the phrase: It takes a city.

[GenessorDios]

^'s new diet is that he can eat whatever he wants but only through his nose. He's now at broccoli and working his way up to steak.

[reiven]

^still has that macaroni owl from the second grade that his mom labeled the bird with down syndrome.

[GenessorDios]

^'s postmodern vandalism, spray-painting Post No Bills on buildings and stealth-fixing lamp posts at night, hasn't earned him the street cred he feels he deserves.

[gracious]

^ Wrote his memoirs with a sparkler.

[Moxiie]

^ has been known on occasion to roll in a vat of glitter and then run down the street screaming LOOK AT THIS HUMAN COMET!!