Let's Spread Rumors

[jkatra]

^Thinks that the chicken crossed the road to consult with his investment advisor.

[Dysthe]

^ Swims the dog-paddle upside down.

[Fujimoto]

^ brushes her teeth with steel wool.

[Reizu]

^Doesn't wash hands after going to the bathroom.

[jkatra]

^Thinks there is a bath in all bathrooms.

[Reizu]

^Thinks the only bathrooms that exist are Porta-Potties.

[jkatra]

^Gives IQ tests to smartphones.

[Reizu]

^Has a literal To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 15 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. on back.

[Fujimoto]

^ tattooed (6.022 × 10^23) on his back

[Reizu]

^Is gender-confused

[jkatra]

^Found a statistical relationship between the global consumption of cranberry juice and the number of times people have seen the Lord of the Rings movies.

[Reizu]

^ Saw Adam Sandler in Jack and Jill, then promptly went on a shooting rampage, killing dozens.

[Minerva]

^wished she could get smothered by anime breasts.

[Reizu]

^wished s/he could get smothered by ANY breasts.

[Minerva]

^wished she had perky C cup breasts like me. It's all about exercising the chest muscles, hun. ;)

[Reizu]

^Was on her way to the grocery store and ended up in China.

[Minerva]

^wanted to be Homecoming queen, but no one voted for her. :(

[Reizu]

^Wanted to be homecoming queen, but everyone voted for the janitor.

[Minerva]

^is a little angry these days. Her bf stood her up, again.

[Reizu]

^Suffered horrible trauma when a serial killer killed her boyfriend while they were lost in the woods, and has since been consistently unaware of how little interest those around her have in romance and socializing.

[Minerva]

^was apparently not stood up, but dumped by her bf.

<So sorry for you. :(

[Reizu]

^Was abandoned on pedophile's doorstep as a child.

[reiven]

^ could not spell her own name until 7th grade.

:p

[IronSulfide]

^ can only do math with the assistance of an abacus.

[Minerva]

^can't count to 10.

[jkatra]

^Doesn't think otters are evil.

[Minerva]

^thinks elephant milk will help him with certain problems.

[IronSulfide]

^ eats fruit flies.

[Minerva]

^uses house flies instead of raisins to make rum raisin ice cream and then gives it to minors. :shocked:

[IronSulfide]

^ sells pot to third-graders.

[Minerva]

^is still sore I won over his biggest buyers.

[IronSulfide]

^ tried to corner the market by setting fire to my house.

[Minerva]

^got so hot watching a video of me that he spontaneously combusted.

[IronSulfide]

^ ran over an old lady at a crosswalk once and just kept driving.

[Minerva]

^ and his best friend fell for the same woman. The woman chose the friend so ^ got back at his friend by giving him a huge amount of laxatives in his coffee.

[IronSulfide]

^ Insists on celebrating her Scrabble victories by force-feeding the loser his or her remaining tiles.

[Minerva]

^ is cruel to animals.

[IronSulfide]

^ Likes taking her vacations in Crete solely to indulge in the puerile pleasure of referring to the locals as 'cretins'.

[Minerva]

^ was stalking me while I was vacationing in Crete. Sooo, it really was you who shot the vid of me? I am glad your house burned down!

[IronSulfide]

^ Her arson attack failed to take out my backup files, which will be posted online any day now.

[jkatra]

^A massive army is organizing to stop ^.

[Minerva]

^hoping to get his hands on the vid because it's gonna be a big seller.

[jkatra]

^Named a pet Miss La La Moo Moo Bear.

[IronSulfide]

^ Abducts goldfish.

[jkatra]

^Mentions useless statistics (the population of West Virginia is 1,855,364).

[IronSulfide]

^ Set the world record for shortest discus throw.

[jkatra]

^When asked to provide marketing spin, ^ spins around in a circle, gets dizzy, and falls down.

[IronSulfide]

^ Is drunk most of the time.

[jkatra]

^Should have gone before we got on the plane, but can't hold it in now.

[Dung]

^ Dreams of crashing through a window pane like in the movies, but finds it challenging.

[IronSulfide]

^ Accuses pregnant women on planes of concealing bombs under their shirts.

[EmmaKynikos]

impregnated a llama

[IronSulfide]

^ Breastfed a goat.

[jkatra]

^Tries to sell goats sound investment planning advice.

[IronSulfide]

^ Sells junk bonds to coke addicts.

[EmmaKynikos]

wasn't on wall street in the 80's

[Minerva]

^thinks porn should be put into the school curriculum.

[jkatra]

^Is a mild-mannered sociologist living in the suburbs of Leawood, Kansas.

[Minerva]

^is still living with his mommy.

[jkatra]

^Living with my daddy in a very close relationship.

[thebrainpolice]

^ Thinks that walking to the refrigerator to get another beer constitutes a work out.

[Minerva]

^ cried when Leonardo Dicaprio died in the movie Titanic.

[thebrainpolice]

^ Thinks Titanic was a good movie.

[Minerva]

^ is an avid fan of the Twilight series.

[Fujimoto]

^ tapes ziploc baggies of powdered sugar under her armpits for a laugh when she goes through airport security.

[thebrainpolice]

^ Wants to join the TSA so he can give people cavity searches.

[jkatra]

^Not important in the grand scheme of things.

[thebrainpolice]

^ Just finished reading Philosophy for Dummies.

[jkatra]

^Thinks that shouting loudly easily compensates for not being able to read or write.

[Fujimoto]

^ thinks he can speak Spanish by adding "-o" to the end of nouns.

[thebrainpolice]

^ No comprehendo el posto

[Cooper]

has an obsession with the letter O because of fond memories from being born....

[jkatra]

^Has fond memories of smashing chairs across people's heads.

[thebrainpolice]

^ Dreams of becoming a pro-wrestler.

[Cooper]

rumored to be in possession of 18 minutes of tape

[thebrainpolice]

^ In possession of 18 kilos of coke.

[Dung]

^^ Took the tape out now, following the sound advice of Ice-T (To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 15 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.).
^ Posts faster than his mother.

[Cooper]

is actually one of the people in the Av photo....

[Minerva]

*LOL! Looks who's talking about being his av!!!*

Is one of the things that goes bump in the night.

[Dung]

^ Fist-fucked the king.

[Fecal McAngry]

Was breast fed until he was 16 by both of his hairy lesbian mommas.

[jkatra]

^Brother of Thomas McHappy.

[Espadrille]

Thinks breast feeding should be banned.

[jkatra]

^On a super-secret spy mission.

[peaceinwar]

^on a mission to make at least 1 friend

[Minerva]

^ wants to be his one and only friend.

[Espadrille]

^Wishes she had been breast fed.

[jkatra]

^Uses staplers as gun replacements.

[Gerard91]

^'s true personality is ROFL.

[jkatra]

^Is wanted by the FBI (they're looking for an interior decorator).

[Gerard91]

^ has three rows of teeth.

[jkatra]

^Always sits in the front row in a movie theater and forcibly removes people if all the seats are filled.

[IronSulfide]

^ files his nails down to sharp points.

[EmmaKynikos]

was on "hoarders"

[jkatra]

^Temporarily insane.

[Dysthe]

^ Fell into a pine needle bush, became a porcupine.

[EmmaKynikos]

favorite color is orange.

[thebrainpolice]

^ Knows off hand what the maximum air speed velocity of a swallow is.

[jkatra]

^Has decided not to beat you up for the time being.

[EmmaKynikos]

beats himself off in the 6th grade girls bathroom

[GenessorDios]

^'s sword is for when she feels the concavity between her toes is insufficient.

[EmmaKynikos]

is a failed comedy writer

[GenessorDios]

^ has long aliased herself as a lesser-known cherub named Cluepid, whose job it is to reveal secret loves to the ignorant.

[IronSulfide]

^ believes God is a robot.

[thebrainpolice]

^ Believes Eric Clapton is God.

[venuspop]

^ thinks that GD = Good Dog.

[Gerard91]

^^ ALWAYS wears a suit, even when he takes a shower or sleeps.

^ watches every movie 10 times in a row, to remember the little details...

[venuspop]

^ records all conversation so that ^ can mull over it.

[GenessorDios]

In an effort to be efficient, ^ spends half an hour every night threading a long piece of floss between all her teeth, before pulling it through in one smooth motion.

[discontinuous]

^ Eats ice cream on the couch naked every night, crying his way through Mel Gibson movies from inside a fanatic emporium.

[Espadrille]

^can't afford to buy ice cream.

[discontinuous]

^can smell your sneakers from here

[Espadrille]

My mother can smell ^'s toes from there.

[discontinuous]

^ Your mom likes to smell her hands after she comes over to give me a foot rub.

[Espadrille]

^can only count up to 100.

[discontinuous]

^Slows down her mental addition time by keeping track of ridiculously long numbers rather than keeping counters after a set amount.

[Espadrille]

^eats gerbils.

[Fujimoto]

^ licks dinner plates clean and puts them back in the cupboard.

[discontinuous]

^ Tries to grow rabbits from poop inside a moist napkin.

[IronSulfide]

^ Lives in a honeycomb.

[discontinuous]

^ Smokes near honeycombs just to look more badass.

[Gerard91]

^ has 12 legs

[jkatra]

^Not allowed to come back home for at least 3 years.

[Dysthe]

^ Shoes are cobbled together by elves

[reiven]

^ has never been more than 12 miles from birthplace.

[Reizu]

^Has a Hitler-mustache tattoo on his lip.

[Dysthe]

^ Bitten by every poisonous creature in existence.

[jkatra]

^Has not yet begun to fight.

[Gerard91]

Fighting is ^'s morning routine.

[Dysthe]

^ Snores like a foghorn.

[jkatra]

^Forgot where the explosives are.

[Reizu]

^ Doesn't think that school is even a thing.

[jkatra]

^Could be the next Don King.

[EmmaKynikos]

wishes he was like me and met Don King in the Aruba airport

[Reizu]

^ feasts upon the souls of forsaken goldfish.

[EmmaKynikos]

is a forsaken goldfish

[Reizu]

^ takes time out of her busy schedule to troll 4Chan.

[EmmaKynikos]

makes a nice stew out of stray cats and feeds it to the neighborhood children

[Reizu]

^ is the neighbor who is careless enough to let the crazy girl from down the street feed her children "mystery stew."

[EmmaKynikos]

doesn't know my children are really spy drones gathering reconnaisance.

[Minerva]

Isn't sure who the fathers of her children are.

[jkatra]

^Likes to see things from the perspective of forsaken swordfish.

[EmmaKynikos]

passed out after drinking too much commune wine at easter

[Reizu]

^Has American Chestnut Blight.

[EmmaKynikos]

calls her pet dog "daddy"

[jkatra]

^Is very dainty.

[Reizu]

^Is very masculine.

[jkatra]

^Is an industry expert for an industry no one cares about.

[Reizu]

^invested in $5,000 worth of stocks for McDonald's wannabe rival that no one's ever heard of, Mr. Clucky's.

[IronSulfide]

^ steals and dismembers store mannequins.

[Reizu]

^Blows up mailboxes because he thinks they're inter-dimensional portals receiving messages from beyond the grave.

[IronSulfide]

^ leaves Pez on the headstones of random dead people as offerings to their departed souls.

[Reizu]

When the departed come to claim my generous offerings of Pez, ^ sucks them up in a ghost containment unit to bring them home and make them critique his awful home-made videos.

[IronSulfide]

^ Throws golf clubs at low-flying birds.

[Reizu]

^ eats caterpillars with his morning cereal.

[IronSulfide]

^ punches anyone who beats her at Connect 4.

[jkatra]

^Can teleport to Italy.

[Reizu]

^ doesn't know the Macarena.

[IronSulfide]

^ doesn't brake for anything.

[Reizu]

^Vacations in Guantanamo Bay

[IronSulfide]

^ Immediately booked a vacation to coastal Louisiana once she heard about the Gulf Oil Spill.

[Reizu]

^ thinks that emotional baggage is what happens when you mistreat your suitcase.

[reiven]

'zu is the eldest of nine artificially inseminated offspring.
the press called them The Test Tube Ten, but one didn't make it :(

[IronSulfide]

^ insists he was immaculately conceived.

[reiven]

^ charter member of the al gore fan club
[^ even has one of the certified hanging chads]

[jkatra]

^Lies to school children on a daily basis.

[reiven]

^ schools liars on a daily basis

[IronSulfide]

^ has seventy children.

[jkatra]

^Real name is Gertie Von Wundersucks.

[IronSulfide]

^ Goes to Disneyland every year.

[Dysthe]

^ Snails crawl up and down his nose. Their slime is his boogers. Attempts at picking the nose have led to bitten fingers.

[venuspop]

^ thinks that sharks have itty-bitty teeth.

[Dysthe]

^ Pulled into own reflection. Mirror self was lonely.

[venuspop]

^ looked into mirrors everywhere to check his her hairdo.

[jkatra]

^Smashes all mirrors.

[Gerard91]

^ used to have a small house on Alcatraz.

[Dysthe]

^ Wins all potato bag contests, loses at everything else.

[jkatra]

^Writing this from prison.

[venuspop]

^ envies my coffee breaks.

[jkatra]

^Envies antelopes for some reason.

[Reizu]

^ dances with the Fairies on moonlit nights.

[Espadrille]

^eats chocolate covered ants.

[Reizu]

^ eats ant-covered chocolate.

[venuspop]

^ idolizes the queen ant.

[IronSulfide]

^ actually loathes dogs.

[Espadrille]

^smells like a dog.

[EmmaKynikos]

has sex with french poodles

[Espadrille]

^has sex with her neighbour's pet rabbit.

[thebrainpolice]

^^ and ^ like fantasizing about bestiality.

[EmmaKynikos]

is my neighbor's pet rabbit

[thebrainpolice]

^ Is dropping acid while thinking about a white rabbit (To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 15 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.)

[EmmaKynikos]

unlike most people, does not eat the rabbit ears off of easter bunnies

[Dysthe]

^ Gave her old teachers poisoned apples. None of them have been waken up for true love's first kiss.

[IronSulfide]

^ works as a nurse in a maternity ward, in which she occasionally switches babies just for a lark.

[Reizu]

^ Pickpockets random business men on the street and switches their phones.

[thebrainpolice]

^ Can't figure out why no one wants to buy the "pull my finger" iphone app she designed.

[jkatra]

^Will be shot on sight.

[GenessorDios]

^ will be shit on on sight. He's just got that toilet papery look about him, you know?

[jkatra]

^Never invited to meetings of the International Society of Noobs.

[venuspop]

^ is Chairman of the International Society of Noobs

[jkatra]

^Assistant Chairman of the National Society of Assistant Noobs.

[venuspop]

^ is the noobest of all noobs. Why ^ is so noobly, the noobs nooble around ^.

[jkatra]

^Makes no sense sometimes.

[venuspop]

... but not now ... ^ is quite right.

[jkatra]

^Is quite perfect.

[venuspop]

^ is more perfect than perfect.

[Espadrille]

Is imperfectly pluperfect in grammar and otherwise.

[venuspop]

^ runs a prefecture in a small Roman town.

[Espadrille]

^runs a Roman bath in the South Bronx.

[venuspop]

^ is one of my regulars.

[Espadrille]

^bathes twice monthly.

[venuspop]

^ brushes her teeth twice monthly. ;)

[Espadrille]

^buys a new toothbrush every 10 years.

[venuspop]

^ had pink toenails.

[Espadrille]

^wears pink socks and crocs

[venuspop]

Last month, ^ dyed her hair blue.

[jkatra]

^Should not be listened to.

[Minerva]

^things gossip is gospel.

[reiven]

^knew she was famous when burger king put her picture on a limited run of their drink cups

[Espadrille]

^has no shirts

[Dysthe]

^ has no pants

[Espadrille]

^has no teeth.

[Dysthe]

^ has no tongue

[Gerard91]

^ owns a whale.

[Sprelious]

^ took a long hiatus

[Dysthe]

^ Lives in a ship bottle.

[Moxiie]

^has been known on occasion to play one on tv

[reiven]

^ has fallen and can't get up.

[Moxiie]

^ sometimes when he's home alone he will do his very best impersonation of a snake writhe for his pets

[jkatra]

^Is trying to defeat all the evil pelicans of the world, but is not successful.

[Espadrille]

^would rather be a beetle.

[jkatra]

^Pays $5,000 monthly rent for a heavily used cardboard box.

[Dysthe]

^ refuses to believe anything he doesn't smell

[jkatra]

^Juggles cobras.

[Gerard91]

^ is a porn actor, dressed as octopus...

[jkatra]

^Totally out of control.

[Sprelious]

^ Plays Power Forward for the Mavericks.

[reiven]

^ has a picture from the 3rd grade in a cowboy getup, riding a kimono dragon

[Sprelious]

^ I heard from GD that YOU were the hummer around here.

[thebrainpolice]

^ Wears a Metallica t-shirt to work everyday.

[Sprelious]

^Has been spying again.

[thebrainpolice]

^ Thoroughly inspects his car every day to check for listening devices planted by the government.

[Sprelious]

^ Wears Aluminum Foil on his head to protect against alien mind probes.

[jkatra]

^Has a contract with aliens to create shipments of mind probes from his warehouse in Delaware.

[Sprelious]

^ Brings in truckloads of Mexicans every Friday night.

[jkatra]

^Time traveler from the mid 57th century and went back in time to learn English.

[Sprelious]

^ in honor of his Scotish heritage he wears a Kilt when he's on the computer.

[jkatra]

^Makes passionate public speeches about the necessity of eating licorice.

[Sprelious]

^ Put a feather in his cap and called it macaroni.

[jkatra]

^Calls himself a mechanical engineer because he can make toast.