Let's Spread Rumors

[IronSulfide]

^ Angrily burns any crossword puzzle she is unable to complete.

[Dysthe]

^ Shrivels into threads when wet.

[gracious]

^ Always shrieks "I'm melting, I'm melting" when wet.

[Banannalou]

^dresses as Dorothy every Thursday afternoon.

[IronSulfide]

^ Keeps a venus fly trap garden in her yard.

[gracious]

^ Is personally responsible for the loss of the bee population.

[IronSulfide]

^ Lives in a willow tree.

[gracious]

^ Believes he is a carrier of Dutch Elm disease after failing to use protection that time.

[thebrainpolice]

^ Decapitates birds and throws their headless corpses in the river.

[IronSulfide]

^ intentionally disperses Asian Longhorned Beetles into protected forests.

[gracious]

^^ Fashions stylish keychains from the heads.

^ Goes by the handle "Woodsy Owl" at the swingers chatroom.

[IronSulfide]

^ Uses a plush toy Care Bear as a punching bag.

[Dysthe]

^ Grows cheese in his navel.

[gracious]

^ This morning's breakfast may have been cheese or it may have been bread. There was too much mould to know for sure.

[IronSulfide]

^ Pinches the heads off gummy bears and puts them on toothpick pikes.

[gracious]

^ Put a gumball machine full of ball bearings at the local grocery store.

[IronSulfide]

^ Deposits her spare buttons into Unicef penny boxes.

[gracious]

^ Has an irrational fear of buttons so all his clothes fasten using laces.

[Dysthe]

^ Pickles his own boogers.

[IronSulfide]

^ refuses to buy any clothes that are not made in sweat-shops.

[GenessorDios]

^ is preparing to go on a world tour with an orchestra made up entirely of paper tearers (he's the janitor).

[venuspop]

When Universal Studio first opened on ^ island, the first thing ^ did was to build a couple of hotels, where he charges an arm and a leg for a night's stay.

[Espadrille]

V wears no underwear.

[venuspop]

Espadrille disabled all comment functions because he/she couldn't handle the fan club.

[jkatra]

^Is more interesting than you are.

[venuspop]

^ is thinking lofty thoughts involving nuclear fission and fireworks.

[jkatra]

^Lives in a loft and thinks loftier loft thoughts.

[venuspop]

Just when he was caught thinking lofty thoughts, he humbled himself by going vegetarian.

[jkatra]

^Thinks it's OK to eat steak and still be a vegetarian.

[GenessorDios]

^ watched Hostel and later told a friend he found it sadistfying.

[jkatra]

^Thinks the sun is a giant meteor headed right for us.

[venuspop]

^ thinks the sun and moon obeys his every whim.

[jkatra]

^Asked the Andromeda galaxy to stop swirling.

[venuspop]

When the Black Hole saw ^, it turned white!

[Fujimoto]

^ made Right Guard turn left!

[jkatra]

^Found a small turtle named Frank inside a black hole.

[Fujimoto]

^ put a blue blindfold on Frank and laid a katana next to it.

[Sprelious]

^ Sleeps with a pet Llama.

[Fujimoto]

^ Once cut open a beached whale and crawled inside of it, because Star Wars.

[Moxiie]

^ accidentally discovered a third gender within the whale species

[venuspop]

^ had a pet cockroach called Fluffy.

[Fujimoto]

^ puffed the magic dragon.

[Moxiie]

^ designed a car with square wheels.....didn't get far and was laughed at quite a bit

[GenessorDios]

Big Trouble in Little ^ was the first movie parody porno ever filmed.

[Moxiie]

Little Trouble in Big ^^ was the sequel that Genessor filmed. It bombed at the box office

[Fujimoto]

^ Just Plain Trouble was the direct-to-VHS sequel completing the trilogy, distributed by Moxiie on street corners next to hookers.

[jkatra]

^Is a hooker.

[Fujimoto]

^ Wears hooker clothing underneath his suit.

[jkatra]

^Thinks a birthday suit is a very expensive suit worn by Wall Street executives.

[Moxiie]

^ was once a wall st. executive and dealt in the bear market...primarily in the rug industry

[jkatra]

^Thinks a wall surrounds Wall Street.

[Fujimoto]

^ checks the tops of his hamburger buns for Sesame Street.

[Moxiie]

^ was once employed as the street cleaner for Easy Street

[Fujimoto]

^ offered to clean Picabo Street, was arrested.

[Moxiie]

^ once devised a new improved way of playing peekaboo.....in a strip club....as a stripper

[Sprelious]

^ Got a full body dip in shellac in an attempt to have a varnished reputation.

[Fujimoto]

^ brings coins to a strip club.

[GenessorDios]

^'s pyramid only has 6/18 vision.

[jkatra]

^DNA tests have confirmed he is your father.

[Dysthe]

^ Climbs trees with goats.

[Fujimoto]

^ only grows very short plants to protect them from giraffes.

[IronSulfide]

^ carries a spear at all times.

[Dysthe]

^ Fondles zits.

[IronSulfide]

^ Celebrates Valentine's Day by bringing her special someone a cauliflower.

[Dung]

^ Is nutty as a fruitcake

[jkatra]

^Sits on the ground with a chair on top of his head.

[Dung]

^ Heads towards the ground sitting on a top chair

[IronSulfide]

^ Wears brass knuckles to family gatherings.

[gracious]

^ Wears a spongebob squarepants costume to family gatherings.

[IronSulfide]

^ uses Spongebob Squarepants children's toothpaste.

[gracious]

^ Filled my toothpaste tube with actual paste.

[IronSulfide]

^ has not yet realized that the paste is actually quick-dry cement.

[gracious]

As part of his community service penalty for that prank, ^ is required to liquefy my meals and feed me through a straw.

[IronSulfide]

^ is unaware of all the horrible things I slipped into said meals.

[Dung]

^^ Can't stand still on a kite surfboard

^ Identifies strongly with people from Almond, New York, and expresses this by wearing an almond face

[gracious]

^ Can't stand still when he hears Katy Perry.

[IronSulfide]

^ Cheats at chess by moving the opponent's pieces when they aren't looking.

[gracious]

^ Always whinnies when he moves his Knight.

[IronSulfide]

^ Always administers the last rites when her bishop knocks off an opposing piece.

[gracious]

^ Thinks pawn is another name for shrimp.

[IronSulfide]

^ is petitioning international chess regulators to give the pawn a special 'suicide-bomber' move, in which the pawn can be sacrificed to destroy all pieces on the adjacent horizonal or diagonal squares.

[Dysthe]

^ Coughs out faeries.

[Espadrille]

^eats meat raw.

[thebrainpolice]

^ Wants to replace the 5 second (To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 15 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.) rule with the 5 hour rule.

[IronSulfide]

^ Enjoys ballroom dancing with his coat rack.

[Espadrille]

^only dances in high heels, usually red.

[thebrainpolice]

^ Can't figure out why her mad kazoo skills haven't gotten her a record deal.

[jkatra]

^Staples doors close instead of locking them.

[IronSulfide]

^ Punches doors into splinters instead of opening them.

[Dung]

^ Dreams of marrying Almond Joy.

[Dysthe]

^ Eats crayons for a colorful digestive surprise. "____ the Rainbow."

[jkatra]

^Pays credit card bills directly to the CEOs of credit card companies by stopping by their suburban houses.

[venuspop]

^ hangout with all the powerful CEOs.

[jkatra]

^Can be reasoned with after a few beers.

[venuspop]

^ usually succumb after about 6.

[jkatra]

^Should be drunk now.

[venuspop]

^ usually circles his bed three times clockwise before settling into it.

[jkatra]

^Sleeps on top of a snowy mountain.

[venuspop]

^ awaken the sleeping giant with his snores.

[jkatra]

^Likes the word cauliflower.

[venuspop]

^ prefers rhinoceroses.

[Espadrille]

^sleeps in pink sheets.

[venuspop]

^ sleeps in zinc sheets.

[Espadrille]

Peeps at mouseholes

[venuspop]

^ peeps into public toilets.

[Sprelious]

^ Takes bubble baths in public streams.

[venuspop]

^ peed into public fountains.

[Espadrille]

^blew bubbles with bathwater

[venuspop]

^ debates with the wax figures at Madame Trousseau's.

[Dysthe]

^ Works in the mine with the seven dwarves.

[jkatra]

^Ruler of the Smurfs.

[Espadrille]

^snorts Splenda.

[jkatra]

^Not a unicorn.

[Dysthe]

^ Brushes teeth with tree branches.

[Sprelious]

^ Was given the key to the city and has been looking for the lock ever since.

[venuspop]

^ thinks that a donkey is the Don's key.

[Dung]

^ Studies hard to become a succubus

[Sprelious]

^ Painted his house with a # 2 pencil.

[jkatra]

^Only uses #1 and #3 pencils.

[Espadrille]

^scored #3 from the bottom.

[Sprelious]

^ can't count to 3.

[Espadrille]

^counts flies.

[IronSulfide]

^ Thinks the meaning of Good Friday is to celebrate the crucifixion of the Easter Bunny.

[jkatra]

^Celebrates Bad Thursday.

[Dung]

^ Nocturnal window washer

[jkatra]

^Is nice once you get to know him, but no one gets to know him.

[Atamagahen]

^Goldfish molester.

[Dysthe]

^ Secretly lives in a ship bottle.

[jkatra]

^Thinks there are important lessons to learn from the old TV show "Three's Company".

[Fujimoto]

^ watches Sesame Street reruns on YouTube.

[jkatra]

^Voted for Big Bird in the last presidential election.

[Gerard91]

^ is actually ^^'s mother.

[Dysthe]

^ is actually ^^'s father.

[jkatra]

^Will not be joining us this evening due to easily forseeable circumstances.

[thebrainpolice]

^ Pours copious amounts of salt on everything he eats.

[reiven]

^ has a hair on a wart on a mole.

[thebrainpolice]

^ Hasn't had a haircut since the 3rd grade so he could emulate his idol "cousin it."

[gracious]

^ Has always had a thing for Morticia Addams.

[jkatra]

^Attracted to skunks.

[gracious]

^ Tries to create his dream woman a la Weird Science.

[Dysthe]

^ Couldn't finish her drink, couldn't lift a cat, and was beat down by a little old lady. Does not wield a hammer.

[gracious]

^ Does not like them in a house. Does not like them with a mouse. Does not like them here or there. Does not like them anywhere.

[jkatra]

^Has written the weight loss book "The Fat in the Cat".

[gracious]

^ Lost 2 fingers trying to dress a Fox in Socks.

[Fujimoto]

^ saw "green" eggs and ham in her refrigerator, ate them on a dare.

[jkatra]

^Dropped out of a nuclear physics Ph.D. program to write books about houses and mouses.

[Fujimoto]

^ hopped on Pop.

[discontinuous]

^ is passing out a petition so children's books have more erotic titles

[Atamagahen]

^Makes out with the reflection in the mirror.

[Sprelious]

^ Was in K-Mart and a Blue Light Special was announced. Upon seeing the Blue Light ^ ran screaming out of the store.

[Moxiie]

^has been known on occasion to unsuccessfully attempt to leap tall buildings in a single bound

[reiven]

^ believes super powers can be unlocked with proper fashion.
when wearing chiffon, ^ is faster than a speeding moped.

[Atamagahen]

^Has a fetish for rubber bath duckies.

[Gerard91]

^ is a zombie

[jkatra]

^Steals library cards.

[Dysthe]

^ When jkatra wears a turtle neck, his neck puffs out and his head retreats into his ribs.

[jkatra]

^Unsuccessful at dodging bullets like Neo in "The Matrix".

[Atamagahen]

^Actually likes Rebecca Black's "Friday", and dances to it in a sombrero.

[Fujimoto]

^ owns the world's second largest rubber band ball. Feverishly obsessed with adding to its size so he can take the title.

[thebrainpolice]

^ Thinks he's an expert on Japanese culture because he watched this (To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 15 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.) music video 75 times.

[Gerard91]

^ owns 50 cats.

[jkatra]

^Thinks vending machines should accept $1,000 bills.

[Dysthe]

^ Always arrives a day late to every appointment.

[Atamagahen]

^Eats live baby rabbits for breakfast every morning...with milk.

[Fujimoto]

^ Thinks expiration dates are just suggestions.

[jkatra]

^Likes disco.

[Sprelious]

^ Seriously needs to learn to budget.

[Dysthe]

^ Makes rabbit stew every Easter.

[jkatra]

^Talking penguin.

[reiven]

^ once made a wallpaper boarder from hand-drawn military rank insignias (each branch of the US military)

[Espadrille]

^picks teeth with rusty nails.

[reiven]

^ drives nails with rusty teeth

[jkatra]

^Has important things to say to pre-schoolers.

[EmmaKynikos]

ate earthworms on a dare

[jkatra]

^Tips pizza delivery drivers $250.

[EmmaKynikos]

wished he knew why i was tipping the delivery guy $250

[jkatra]

^Likes to order pizzas with pepperoni, sausage, mushrooms, green peppers, and sexual intercourse.

[EmmaKynikos]

wishes he could afford a video camera

[reiven]

^ has a whole film crew ;)

[EmmaKynikos]

won best supporting actor at cannes

[jkatra]

^Doesn't understand how the pictures move on the silver screen.

[EmmaKynikos]

wept at the premiere of "when harry met sally"

[reiven]

^ thought kramer vs kramer was another cheers spinoff

[jkatra]

^Believes that watching Star Trek episodes should replace all formal education.

[EmmaKynikos]

formal education ended after watching 'mary poppins'

[reiven]

^ must be a cop.
that is the only possible explanation for the uniforms, handcuffs and assorted clubs in the trunk of her crown vic.

[EmmaKynikos]

wishes he had the junk in my trunk

[reiven]

^ lip-synchs whenever she hears a joan jett song, and can sweat on command.

[EmmaKynikos]

picked the wrong day to stop sniffing glue

[reiven]

^ has been in a turkish prison, but never seen a grown man naked.

[Minerva]

^believes streaking is good for the soul.

[EmmaKynikos]

uses alcohol tainted vomit to wash his dishes.

[jkatra]

^Created a mathematical algorithm to predict the type of porn people will watch.

[EmmaKynikos]

doesn't know he's been watching my porn production for ages.

[jkatra]

^Today's to-do list consists of skateboarding, staring blankly into space, and smashing dishs.

[EmmaKynikos]

gets aroused reading my to-do lists

[jkatra]

^Gets aroused when within 1,000 miles of anything that slightly vibrates, moves, or has a mental intention of sometime moving within the next 3 years.

[EmmaKynikos]

really needs to stop reading my emails to his mother

[thebrainpolice]

^ Thinks "fine dining" means SPAM and macaroni and cheese.

[reiven]

^ now has an emmaK pinup in his locker

[Dung]

^ Loves nothing like a good old school riot.

[thebrainpolice]

^^ Has a Richard Nixon blow up doll.

^ Wire taps people so he can sneak in and snake them unexpectedly.

[Dung]

^ Wire taps himself when he is in one of his "shut the fuck off" moods.

[GenessorDios]

^ was born conjoined to a banana, but that fruit got sick of him and peeled itself. It was a gruesome sight, there were those yucky strands everywhere.

[thebrainpolice]

^ Is the worlds biggest Spinal Tap fan

[Dung]

^^ Last time his antenna had a boner...no, you don't wanna hear that story, that's too gruesome.

^ Thinks tap water was part of that band.

[reiven]

^ is a third degree origamist

[jkatra]

^Turns people to stone by either looking at them or breathing on them.

[reiven]

^dated katie couric when they went to middle school together

[jkatra]

^Calls pumpkins plumpkins.

[EmmaKynikos]

thinks he's clever and in on the joke

[reiven]

^'s mom saved every yellow crayon from every box of crayons while ^ was a kid.

not to be outdone, ^ has saved every yellow highlighter since embarking on a career.

[Dung]

^ Loathes P Diddy.

[jkatra]

^Is made entirely out of bronze.

[Dung]

^ Was assaulted by a batshit-crazy otter the other day.

[reiven]

^ is certain the vision in the book of daniel is a reference to him.

[Dung]

^ Loves chicks, chicken talk, and poultry in general.

[jkatra]

^Refers to quarters as quatties, nickels as nickies, and pennies as pens.

[Reizu]

^Has a disturbingly extreme love for cottage cheese.

[reiven]

^ once spent two minutes trying to pry a (glued) subway token from the sidewalk.
how long does it take to realize it was glued down?!?

two minutes, i guess.

[Reizu]

(Curses, how did he know about that?!)

^Thought that Abraham Lincoln was the fifth president because he's on the $5 bill.

[reiven]

traded one converse sneaker with a schoolmate, such that each had one orange and one purple shoe.

two weeks later they hated each other, and neither would return the shoe, so they were associated with each other for the rest of the school year.

[Reizu]

(That actually happened.)
Thinks hamburgers are actually made of ham.

[reiven]

^ is the eldest of four children. they lived in a one bedroom government housing apartment, and had no transportation until ^'s mom hit the megamillions. now they have moved up to a three bedroom government housing apartment, they are the proud owners of a '74 impala, and mom has a 'safety net' of 12 cartons of Sonoma Lights.

[Reizu]

^ once lived in a house by the sea. Every night he would go outside to look at the stars, until one night there was a bright flash of light in the sky. Out of the light came a saucer-shaped disk, which promptly flew back into the stars. ^ was able to get an interview about his experience on a news show, and shortly after he was sent for a psychiatric evaluation by his boss. He was promptly diagnosed with schizophrenia and fired for "unrelated reasons." He now lives in an alley way, surviving only on the bones leftover from KFC and acidic rain water.

[reiven]

^ has never tasted chocolate

[Dysthe]

^ makes new traps for old tombs

[reiven]

^ got one of those nose to nipple chain piercings last year.
it went as horribly wrong as you could imagine.

[Reizu]

^eats pure cane sugar for every meal

[reiven]

^ is so personally offended by being left handed, she never learned to play guitar.

[Reizu]

^ never had a pet that loved him.

[Dysthe]

^ Fell into the pit of despair, came out happy.

[jkatra]

^Gives hour long lectures about the necessity of recycling old socks.

[GenessorDios]

^ proclaimed to be ruler of the free world, then the locals started using him to measure the length of liberty.

[Reizu]

^Haunts the local Taco Bell late at night, looking for stale tortilla shells. He is known simply as, El Comilon de la Tortilla.

[EmmaKynikos]

breastfeeds on sheep milk

[jkatra]

^Not Xena, Warrior Princess.

[Reizu]

^ Sniffs the hair trimmings in the local hair salon.

[Dysthe]

^ Ran over the Chupacabra and kept on driving.

[Reizu]

^met Santa Clause on Christmas Eve night and arrested him for breaking and entering.

[jkatra]

^Breaks the most sacred rules that should never be broken unless it's a last resort.

[GenessorDios]

Most shellfish get their contraband smuggling contracts from ^.

[jkatra]

^Application was rejected for the 16th time this week at the local McDonald's.

[GenessorDios]

Mastery of the art of drawing with a pen on a single sheet of paper held vertically by his other hand at one corner and with no backing took ^ 17 years. Parents' disappointment has yet to fade.

[jkatra]

^Hobbies are knitting, biking, and disappointing parents.

[Dysthe]

^ Discovered the theory of everything and told no one.

[jkatra]

^Has a Ph.D. in babysitting and delivered the dissertation to 30 working mothers.

[Espadrille]

Never ties her shoelaces

[Reizu]

^Thinks that babies are made in a factory

[Gerard91]

^ thinks that women lay eggs.