View Full Version : Let's Spread Rumors
02-19-2012, 09:08 PM
^ is mad jealous of my graphing skills.
02-19-2012, 09:09 PM
^ flaunts said graphing skill at the market square. Jealous housewives pelted him with cabbage.
02-19-2012, 09:18 PM
^ Was the only person to throw a radish.
02-19-2012, 09:19 PM
^ caught my radish and sold it for 5 dollars.
02-19-2012, 09:23 PM
^ created a voodoo model of said five dollars, and burned it out of spite.
02-19-2012, 09:24 PM
^ stole said voodoo model of five dollars for dubious reason.
02-19-2012, 09:29 PM
^ mysteriously lost all five dollar bills.
02-19-2012, 09:30 PM
^ made a shirt glued together with stolen five dollar bills.
Hey! This particular bill looked familiar. :(
02-19-2012, 09:47 PM
^ Draws on all paper currency. Quite poorly. A shame for everyone involved.
02-19-2012, 09:53 PM
^ colored all coins a dirty yellow.
02-19-2012, 10:40 PM
^Likes to get dirty.
02-20-2012, 02:06 AM
^ Got expelled from many schools in youth, due to a fetish involving the tossing of food on girls in the cafeteria.
^ Got expelled from youth.
02-20-2012, 05:28 AM
^ offered a penny for my thought.
02-20-2012, 05:40 AM
^ sells his thoughts on eBay.
02-20-2012, 09:11 AM
^Secretly controls eBay using subtle psychological manipulation.
02-20-2012, 09:13 AM
^ sells slaves on internet.
02-20-2012, 09:29 AM
^Never won a trip to Hawaii through a sweepstakes.
02-20-2012, 09:31 AM
^is a music videos director. Switching lights on and off while filming is his mastered effect.
02-20-2012, 09:33 AM
^Has philosophical conversations with teddy bears.
02-20-2012, 09:35 AM
Jesus stole ^'s girlfriend.
02-20-2012, 09:39 AM
^Exists outside of what we normally consider to be reality.
02-20-2012, 09:40 AM
^ Don't know what reality is.
02-20-2012, 09:42 AM
^Trains penguins to be assassins.
02-20-2012, 09:43 AM
^ trains seals to be bartenders.
02-20-2012, 09:47 AM
^Spends too much time talking things over with seal bartenders long into the night.
02-20-2012, 09:49 AM
^ Has a monkey butler.
02-20-2012, 10:31 AM
^Doesn't have a flamingo butler.
02-20-2012, 10:32 AM
^ Stole my flamingo butler.
02-20-2012, 10:33 AM
^ Bought flamingo butler from me.
02-20-2012, 10:38 AM
^ Sold her flamingo butler at an extortionate rate.
02-20-2012, 10:42 AM
^ tried to train a dragon. It was a stuffed toy.
02-20-2012, 10:43 AM
^ doesn't realize Flamingo Butlers is Flamingo Slavery
02-20-2012, 10:45 AM
^ Didn't know that flamingos are pink.
02-20-2012, 10:46 AM
^ Dyed her flamingo into a tuxedo wearing flamingo.
02-20-2012, 10:48 AM
^ recommended this idea, because thought that flamingos will look fashionable.
02-20-2012, 10:59 AM
^ Totally agrees.
02-20-2012, 11:14 AM
^Will be a servant someday in the Flamingo Empire.
02-20-2012, 11:15 AM
^ Has already placed a bid on me.
02-20-2012, 11:16 AM
^Doesn't fully comprehend the true power of the Flamingo Overlord.
02-20-2012, 11:20 AM
^ Fraternizes with the enemy.
02-20-2012, 11:34 AM
^Would also fraternize with the enemy if we could discuss the issue over a glass of wine, some baked cod, and a warm-hearted conversation.
02-20-2012, 12:08 PM
^Is a servant to the Flamingo Overlord.
02-20-2012, 12:48 PM
^Likes to juggle cabbages for some reason.
02-20-2012, 01:57 PM
^Gets uneasy when I juggle cabbage and running chain saws at the same time.
02-20-2012, 02:05 PM
^Likes pretty ponies.
02-20-2012, 02:06 PM
^Wants to be a pretty pony.
02-20-2012, 02:07 PM
^ Likes pretty flamingoes.
02-20-2012, 02:11 PM
^Continues to serve the Flamingo Overlord with diligence and unswerving loyalty.
02-20-2012, 02:14 PM
^Tries to send flamingos to ^^'s house to crap on the lawn but they keep coming back and crapping on ^'s lawn instead.
02-20-2012, 02:16 PM
^Finds meaning in a grain of sand.
02-20-2012, 02:17 PM
^ waits for someone to tell him what a grain of sand is supposed to represent.
02-20-2012, 02:21 PM
^Enjoys waiting in line for anything.
02-20-2012, 02:22 PM
^Can't find the end of the line with a map.
02-20-2012, 02:23 PM
^ Can't pour water out of a boot even when the instructions are on the heel.
02-20-2012, 02:24 PM
^Doesn't know the spurs are really disguised valves for drainage.
02-20-2012, 02:25 PM
^drains horses for fun
02-20-2012, 02:31 PM
^Is Vice Admiral of the Imperial Admiral Association of Admirals.
^ Endorses horses (To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 15 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.).
02-20-2012, 02:40 PM
^ was given a happy face sticker as a child, and had it framed as an adult.
^ Was crushed by a huge clock, once.
02-20-2012, 04:11 PM
^ Hides his diaper under a skirt. As it be too obvious under anything else.
^ Is jealous because he didn't qualify for the manure diving olympics.
02-20-2012, 04:29 PM
^ Won, then got disqualified for using fiber.
^knows using fiber is the only way to cleanse and win:)
^ Won the drug sniffing dog's race, which was dope.
02-20-2012, 04:52 PM
^ Got arrested that day.
02-20-2012, 09:10 PM
^ was booked for discontinuity.
02-20-2012, 09:15 PM
Forever a board game elitist, ^ will only wear chessed shirts.
02-20-2012, 10:02 PM
^ Cheats... keeps an archive of this subforum, uses software to generate responses.
Eye on Earth
02-20-2012, 10:06 PM
^ Pauses to ponder telephone poles and ponies.
02-20-2012, 10:15 PM
02-21-2012, 12:05 AM
^ Manufactures and distributes pauses.
02-21-2012, 12:10 AM
^In charge of the pause factory.
02-21-2012, 12:19 AM
^ Owns exclusive copyright over the " || " symbol.
02-21-2012, 12:41 AM
Having never mastered how to use locks, ^ duct tapes the entire cubicle door shut in the toilet. It's handy because sometimes those places don't have toilet paper.
02-21-2012, 01:10 AM
^Clumsily pretends to be a "blind person" while using public restrooms.
02-21-2012, 04:01 AM
^ contemplates wearing a shorter skirt.
^ Contemplates having a new mustache implant (leaning towards this style (To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 15 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.))
02-21-2012, 04:14 AM
^ promised to lend me his mustache.
02-21-2012, 04:37 AM
^ never returns the things she "borrows".
02-21-2012, 06:38 AM
Caring person that he is, ^ went to multiple loansharks in an attempt to obtain black market hours after he heard his aunt was living on borrowed time.
02-21-2012, 09:10 AM
^ Dresses up as Beyonce and dances in front of mirror.
02-21-2012, 09:17 AM
^'s favorite soft porn movies are self-graded Steamier than hot elephant piss.
02-21-2012, 09:25 AM
^'s favorite soft porn movies involve copious amounts of hot elephant piss.
02-21-2012, 09:29 AM
As a boy, ^ used to collect spiders for money. Now, he works at a coffee shop. Hahahaha!
Wait, what's the connection?
02-21-2012, 09:31 AM
^ lives in a coffee shop where Fujimoto works.
02-21-2012, 09:39 AM
Too many nights have gone by where ^ still refuses to not sleep while hugging the ceiling fan.
02-21-2012, 09:41 AM
^ never thinks before saying something.
02-21-2012, 10:03 AM
^ drinks espresso compulsively until her heart races.
02-21-2012, 10:10 AM
^ is scared of doorbells.
02-21-2012, 10:26 AM
^ considers playing the doorbell to be a marketable musical career.
02-21-2012, 10:29 AM
^ is really talking about playing with ding-dongs.
02-21-2012, 10:32 AM
^ there's a reason they call him Tic Tac.
02-21-2012, 10:36 AM
^'s neck is that long in real life.
02-21-2012, 10:39 AM
^ loves pigeons and seagulls.
02-21-2012, 10:40 AM
^ has webbed feet.
02-21-2012, 10:41 AM
^claims to be the creator of silent movies.
02-21-2012, 10:45 AM
^ does the luge headfirst.
02-21-2012, 10:48 AM
^ pretends to be an illusionist.
02-21-2012, 11:12 AM
^ Is proficient in capoeira.
02-21-2012, 11:17 AM
^ pretends to be an idiot, so people would like him.
02-21-2012, 11:19 AM
^ Fell for my ruse, and is now paying the price.
02-21-2012, 11:21 AM
^ is under influence of Stalin's ghost.
02-21-2012, 11:22 AM
^ Killed Trotsky with an ice pick.
02-21-2012, 11:27 AM
^ is looking for fame.
02-21-2012, 11:28 AM
^ Sold out and found fame, only to lose it after releasing total garbage.
02-21-2012, 11:34 AM
^ has a list of people that he would like to stare at.
02-21-2012, 11:37 AM
^ Has a notebook she thinks will kill the person whose name she writes in it. Also talks to an imaginary shinigami all the time.
02-21-2012, 11:59 AM
^ hides around corners and shouts "Boo!" at passers-by.
^ Loathes and despises people living in daylight.
02-21-2012, 03:06 PM
^ can't wait for the sun to go supernova.
^ Is looking for an almond headed SO.
Eye on Earth
02-21-2012, 04:15 PM
^ Prefers dark chocolate and unicorns.
02-21-2012, 04:17 PM
^ Likes pink chocolate and Pegasi.
02-21-2012, 05:45 PM
^ Rubs flower petals on face, to build a "foundation" using only the most natural colors.
02-21-2012, 05:54 PM
^ Thinks a "roll in the hay" is an exfoliating procedure.
02-21-2012, 06:47 PM
^ is about to metamorphosize into a Komodo dragon.
02-21-2012, 07:22 PM
^ trains dog to fetch cocoons. drinks them.
02-21-2012, 07:27 PM
^ is a shut door unto himself.
02-21-2012, 09:34 PM
^likes getting her belly scratched.
02-22-2012, 04:47 AM
^ barks in his/her sleep.
02-22-2012, 05:02 AM
^ uses seven mustaches which he/she rotates on a daily basis.
02-22-2012, 09:09 AM
^ doesn't shave her armpits.
02-22-2012, 10:28 AM
^ force-shaves his pets.
02-22-2012, 10:31 AM
^ spends more on the French poodle than on the kids.
02-22-2012, 12:49 PM
^does unspeakable things to his poodle.
02-22-2012, 12:51 PM
^'s poodle did unspeakable things to his master.
02-22-2012, 01:15 PM
^didn't know that I hate poodles and would gladly feed them to gators at every opportunity.
02-22-2012, 01:24 PM
^ Tries to get high off "acid" rain.
02-22-2012, 03:09 PM
Avatar is the window discontinuous peeps through when the 8 year olds are having ballerina class.
02-22-2012, 04:28 PM
^ thinks Swan Lake was composed by Bjork.
02-22-2012, 04:37 PM
^Likes to play hockey on Swan Lake in the summertime.
02-22-2012, 04:41 PM
^ Hunts swans for sport.
02-22-2012, 04:54 PM
^Secretly hires himself out as a swan decoy to hunters.
02-22-2012, 05:33 PM
^ Makes lawn ornaments.
02-22-2012, 06:37 PM
^ Carries a pinwheel at all times.
02-22-2012, 06:40 PM
^ Invented Spam.
02-22-2012, 06:43 PM
^ Imports haggis for a living.
02-22-2012, 07:36 PM
^ Dances with Wolves.
02-22-2012, 07:42 PM
^Buys my lawn ornaments ... in bulk.
02-22-2012, 07:55 PM
^ Loves Ann Coulter
02-22-2012, 08:15 PM
^Likes foisting conservative skanks on liberals.
02-22-2012, 08:22 PM
^ Has a skank collection in his basement.
02-22-2012, 08:58 PM
^ had a experimental laboratory in his basement.
02-22-2012, 09:09 PM
^ Gives hamsters the power of telepathy in her basement.
02-22-2012, 09:11 PM
^ knows the rain dance, and when in the mood, ^ can bring thunder and lighting and the great typhoon.
02-23-2012, 12:12 AM
Attempts at creating a meat dessert had explosive results when ^'s spam brûlée was poorly received by houseguests' stomachs.
02-23-2012, 12:46 AM
Not being picked to play the Tinman in The Wizard Of Oz left him with deep dents.
02-23-2012, 04:42 AM
^ is known in certain circle to sleep at night with a teddy bear.
02-23-2012, 07:20 AM
^ bed wetter.
02-23-2012, 07:21 AM
^ Link Nazi
02-23-2012, 07:23 AM
^ Has fantasies about invading Poland.
02-23-2012, 07:24 AM
^ Invaded Poland, but no one noticed.
02-23-2012, 07:25 AM
Angel of oblivion haven't touched ^.
02-23-2012, 07:31 AM
^ Reached the Devils post count right here.
02-23-2012, 07:33 AM
^ Claims Devil as his best friend.
02-23-2012, 07:37 AM
^ Attends Pig Roasts in Hell evey Saturday.
02-23-2012, 07:39 AM
^ was the first person to invite me there.
02-23-2012, 07:40 AM
^ Has a ham, bacon, sausage, and pork chop sandwich for lunch every day.
02-23-2012, 10:09 AM
^ puts mayonnaise on everything.
02-23-2012, 10:49 AM
^ Prefers to use his Miracle Whip.
02-23-2012, 10:51 AM
^ is handy with a whip.
02-23-2012, 10:54 AM
^Can't figure out how to use a whip.
02-23-2012, 11:15 AM
^ Thinks he can use his whip to make whipped cream.
02-23-2012, 12:34 PM
^Always creams her whip before use.
02-23-2012, 01:28 PM
^ Enjoys being dominated.
02-23-2012, 01:48 PM
^Misconstrues dominated for dominating.
02-23-2012, 06:15 PM
^ Does more ruminating than dominating.
02-23-2012, 07:53 PM
Sensitive soul that she is, ^ once called her Chinese friend's arguments irruminating.
02-24-2012, 09:46 AM
^ Stole Stella's groove.
02-24-2012, 10:12 AM
^ Ran throiugh the streets yelling Stella
02-24-2012, 10:13 AM
^ Pines after Kim Kardashian.
02-24-2012, 11:20 AM
^ watches Jane Fonda workout videos without exercising.
02-24-2012, 02:00 PM
^ has disturbing fantasies involving Jane Fonda and the downward dog pose.
^ Fantasizes about being surrounded by Brazilian nuts.
02-24-2012, 04:24 PM
^Fantasizes like they are nuts.
^ Seems pretty lost in space.
02-24-2012, 05:12 PM
^ Tangled up in blue.
02-24-2012, 06:14 PM
^ Bob Dylan groupie
02-24-2012, 06:44 PM
^Is a robot from the 15th dimension.
02-24-2012, 07:10 PM
^ Frequently walks into walls due to lack of depth perception.
02-24-2012, 07:14 PM
02-24-2012, 07:17 PM
^ Fantasizes that he is living a cartoon with Sylvester and Speedy Gonzalez.
02-24-2012, 07:19 PM
^Last person to be invited to your dinner party.
02-24-2012, 07:22 PM
^ Invites me to dinner parties but expects me to cook the dinner.
02-24-2012, 07:42 PM
^Won't cook the dinner.
02-24-2012, 07:43 PM
^ Refused to eat tofurkey.
02-24-2012, 09:55 PM
^ collect eggs and sits on them just to see if any hatches.
02-24-2012, 10:19 PM
^Is a bad egg.
02-24-2012, 10:31 PM
^ is one of those egg which hatched, miraculously.
02-25-2012, 07:46 AM
^ cries about every minute that was wasted.
02-25-2012, 11:28 AM
^Better than you are.
02-25-2012, 11:39 AM
^ Creeping up behind you with ninja stuff.
02-25-2012, 11:49 AM
02-25-2012, 11:55 AM
^ composes and conducts for a symphony of insects
02-25-2012, 12:03 PM
^Wasn't invited to your high school reunion.
Eye on Earth
02-25-2012, 06:54 PM
^ never graduated high school.
02-25-2012, 07:17 PM
^Has been politely asked to leave the restaurant before the police are called.
Eye on Earth
02-25-2012, 07:23 PM
^ Turns the sign to closed whenever I show up.
02-25-2012, 07:30 PM
^Voted for an otter in the last election.
02-26-2012, 09:46 AM
^ Voted for George W. Bush in the most recent election.
02-26-2012, 09:48 AM
^ has secret plans to rule the world.
02-26-2012, 09:51 AM
^ asked for ONE MILLION DOLLARS on national TV, with her finger at her mouth.
02-26-2012, 09:59 AM
^ went to talent show. His talent is quoting Mr. Bean.
02-26-2012, 10:10 AM
^ never leaves her couch.
02-26-2012, 10:11 AM
^ never leaves his fridge.
02-26-2012, 10:17 AM
^ never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down.
02-26-2012, 10:27 AM
^ never says never.
02-26-2012, 10:57 AM
^Never says sometimes.
02-26-2012, 11:03 AM
^ never spreads rumors.
^ Took so much rain checks that her purse is all soaked.
02-26-2012, 01:07 PM
^Will one day bow to Ottie, the Imperial Overlord of Otters, in a dark throne room overlooking all the oceans of the world.
02-26-2012, 05:52 PM
^ Hopes one day to be Ottie's First Lady.
02-26-2012, 06:07 PM
^Will one day help Ottie defeat Squidion, the Evil Admiral of Squids.
02-26-2012, 06:07 PM
^^ Is Ottie's Secretary of Defense.
^ Helps Squidion club baby seals.
02-26-2012, 06:09 PM
^ Lost his job as Ottie's chef after serving him Squidion calimari that was too rubbery.
02-26-2012, 08:54 PM
^ Has a rubbery Squidion toy.
02-26-2012, 08:56 PM
Sleeps with a rubbery Squidion toy.
02-26-2012, 09:17 PM
^Will follow Squirrelia, the Dark Mistress Queen of the Evil Squirrels, into wherever she commands her armies to go.
02-26-2012, 09:46 PM
Is the brain behind Squirrelia.
02-26-2012, 10:30 PM
^Is too nice to strangers and squirrels.
02-27-2012, 05:35 AM
dances with strangers and squirrels, dervishes too.
^ Dances with the cry wolves
02-27-2012, 09:24 AM
^Does the hokey-pokey on horseback.
02-27-2012, 10:24 AM
^ is a fan of logs.
02-27-2012, 10:28 AM
^ is the Log Lady.
02-27-2012, 10:32 AM
^ is the President of Logs.
02-27-2012, 10:41 AM
^ makes poor third-world children manufacture her logs.
02-27-2012, 10:41 AM
^uses a chainsaw to carve logs in the form of huge phallic symbols.
02-27-2012, 10:47 AM
^ commissioned a gigantic wooden phallus to display in his living room.
02-27-2012, 10:48 AM
^ is homeless and has only one friend - a log named Jared.
02-27-2012, 10:49 AM
^^comes over weekly to ride said phallus.
^likes to snake using logs.
02-27-2012, 10:51 AM
^ likes when other people snake using logs.
02-27-2012, 10:54 AM
^ likes using snakes in place of logs
02-27-2012, 10:57 AM
^ hates logs.
02-27-2012, 11:00 AM
^ is jealous of Jared
02-27-2012, 11:05 AM
^ stole Jared from me.
02-27-2012, 11:09 AM
^ would have burned Jared for warmth. I couldn't allow that.
02-27-2012, 11:11 AM
^ stole Jared for the same thing.
02-27-2012, 11:20 AM
^doesn't even know Jared but secretly stalks him everywhere he goes.
02-27-2012, 11:22 AM
^ was the one who told me about Jared.
02-27-2012, 11:27 AM
^tries in vain to tell that to the police when Jared has her arrested.
02-27-2012, 11:29 AM
^ tried to help me but was arrested too.
02-27-2012, 11:38 AM
^ the arresting officer is sleeping with SO.
02-27-2012, 11:49 AM
has gender issues as demonstrated by cutesy avatar.
02-27-2012, 12:00 PM
Has general identity issues as demonstrated by inhuman avatar
02-27-2012, 12:01 PM
^ wants long pink hair, he thinks to himself as he puts on his suit and tie every morning.
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