Let's Spread Rumors

[Sprelious]

^Has double vision.

[jkatra]

^Has no innovative vision.

[Sprelious]

^Has never seen my innovation awards.

[gracious]

^Invented invisible awards.

[reiven]

gracious has a collection of grand ol' opry figurines, she even has a Jr. Samples action figure.

[jkatra]

^Has all the He-Man and the Masters of the Universe action figures, except for Orko.

[reiven]

^ eats peanut butter and chives sammiches.

[jkatra]

^Sometimes acts inappropriately relative to established parameters.

[reiven]

^ sells jesus/luke skywalker collages on etsy

[jkatra]

^Sold soul for $1.37 and free icecube trays.

[reiven]

^thought "over the hump" was the WW2 predecessor of don't ask, don't tell

[datagirl]

^filed an ADA complaint because Quasimodo is not among the cast of characters at Disney theme parks

[thebrainpolice]

^ loved Beauty and the Beast so much she dated the Wolfman.
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[datagirl]

^SUPER excited about the new 3D version

[reiven]

^ was overheard to say "lon chaney junior? he's just a kid, right?"

[jkatra]

^Needs to be stopped at all costs.

[WoodsWoman]

^works as a wheel chock for an oil truck.

[Eye on Earth]

^ Drives the oil truck.

[WoodsWoman]

^drinks 8 oz. of heating oil every morning. Claims it keeps him warm that way.

[Coralaisly]

^actually hates the woods

[thebrainpolice]

^ Is part of a nudist colony that's camping in the woods.

[Coralaisly]

^ wouldn't know a brain if one grew teeth and bit him XD

[thebrainpolice]

^ Doesn't appreciate fine art.
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[venuspop]

^ manages Frank Zappa.

[thebrainpolice]

^ Has "Joe's Garage" on endless repeat.

[venuspop]

^ watches Joe's Apartment 42 times. Joe's neighbour saw ^ did this {{{cockroaches}}}.

[teraczy]

^ is actually a cat in disguise

[jkatra]

^Disguised as a rock.

[venuspop]

^ came from the Rock of Gibraltar.

[jkatra]

^Hobby is to break rocks into pebbles.

[venuspop]

^ sandpapers all pebbles on the beach so that it looked polished.

[Eye on Earth]

^ Polishes something every morning. Feels oh so good afterward.

[jonnyb]

^ lives vicariously through VenusPop.

[Eye on Earth]

^ Lives vicariously through me!

[jkatra]

^Does not experience what we commonly define as being alive.

[Eye on Earth]

^ Meets all the prerequisites for a fire hydrant.

[jkatra]

^Stays away from fire hydrants because he thinks they contain fire.

[venuspop]

^ knows that fire hydrants are urinals.

[MrControll]

^uses fire hydrants as urinals

[IronSulfide]

^ uses fire hydrants as drinking fountains.

[thebrainpolice]

^uses urinals as drinking fountains.

[Sprelious]

^Spreads rumors

[WoodsWoman]

^follows orders.

[IronSulfide]

^ Spreads orders to rumor-followers.

[WoodsWoman]

^gave everyone leaf blowers for Christmas.

[IronSulfide]

^ Regifted my leaf blower to her gardener.

[WoodsWoman]

^IS my gardener.

[Sprelious]

^Has an original copy of the bible she printed herself

[WoodsWoman]

^cut the stone for my engravings.

[IronSulfide]

^ is a false idol.

[Sprelious]

^Idolizes falsehoods

[IronSulfide]

^ has three heads.

[Sprelious]

^swims in my river

[IronSulfide]

^ goes chasing waterfalls.

[Sprelious]

^Has a lovely unicorn collection.

[IronSulfide]

^ Hunts my unicorns for their horns.

[venuspop]

Loves gliding and free-falling between trees.

[Eye on Earth]

^ Loves free balling while gliding between trees.

[venuspop]

^ swings between trees in his neighborhood.

[Eye on Earth]

^ knows me too well.

[GenessorDios]

^ is INTXicating.

[Eye on Earth]

^ Is my hero.

[jkatra]

^Ate my gyros.

[Wapiti]

^girlfriend refers to him a "slow poke."

[Eye on Earth]

^ tastes like chicken.

[venuspop]

^ tastes like wombats.

[Eye on Earth]

^ smells like a dog.

[Wapiti]

^Wants to smell like nirvana but doesn't know what that means.

[Eye on Earth]

^ Wants to smell like Minerva and knows exactly what that means.

[jkatra]

^Problem child.

[venuspop]

The School Principal told me that ^ once burnt down the school.

[Rachel45]

^ both of you burned down your respective schools!

[venuspop]

My neighbor's milkman's sister's cat told my neighbor's milkman's dog that ^ once went to the movies dressed in her hair curlers.

[WoodsWoman]

^steals candy bars and sells them to kids in school

[VagrantChord]

^Writes reviews on candy bars for gossip magazines.

[Sprelious]

^Holds the candy bar patent

[VagrantChord]

^Wants to buy the patent but is disappointed that I won't sell.

[Sprelious]

^Hold the patent patent

[VagrantChord]

^Wants to buy my patent on patent leather

[Sprelious]

^Wants to buy my leather chaps.

[Coralaisly]

^owns multiple pairs of buttless chaps in various styles, colors and materials

[venuspop]

^ had a dossier on everyone in this forum.

[Coralaisly]

^attempted to slingshot themselves to Venus, failed miserably and dislocated a shoulder, hence the name "VenusPop"

>_>

<_<

*pulls out file labelled "Venuspop" and a pen*

*writes "knows about dossier... may have to be silenced..."*

>_>

<_<

*puts file back*

[venuspop]

*hides under a brown rug*

An agent in shades told me once not to mess with ^. ~~~ *shudders*

[GenessorDios]

I thought the Shadow Broker was a male, turns out it's ^^.

[reiven]

^ has delusions of mediocrity

[GenessorDios]

Every night, ^ makes a wish to his kareemcatcher before he sleeps. He wakes up excited, hoping to see an ensnared 7' tall black dude. No luck thus far.

[VagrantChord]

^Can't figure out how lubricants work so he can stop his infernal squeaking.

[jkatra]

^Is very infernal.

[VagrantChord]

^Is an astute observer.

[jkatra]

^Is a stupid observer.

[VagrantChord]

^Wishes he was stupid instead of flatulent.

[jkatra]

^Wishes he was flatulent instead of stupid.

[GenessorDios]

As a kid, ^ ripped 1" holes in all of his shirts to show off what he thought were very sexy nipples.

[Sprelious]

^has shiney nipples

[jkatra]

^Runs after shiny things.

[Sprelious]

^Chases skirts.

[jkatra]

^Doesn't fit in well with our corporate culture.

[venuspop]

There was a time when ^ delivered seven sneezes in one blow. He frightened all his opponents in the competition.

[VagrantChord]

^Sprayed pepper at said competition.

[GenessorDios]

Contrary to popular belief, ^'s hat is actually used to house his stubbornly vertical back hair.

[VagrantChord]

^Contrary to popular misconceptions, that hat does house a big head with close cropped white hair.

[GenessorDios]

Generous soul that he is, ^ always keeps one eye closed so there's more light to be taken in by others.

[VagrantChord]

^Keeps wrangling for an invitation to rubber chicken dinners but can only digest wooden duck decoys.

[reiven]

^ played bass for roy orbison

[VagrantChord]

^Was in the audience at my dream concert, sat in with us at the bar after the show.

[reiven]

^didn't want to spend the $ on band-name clothes, so he buys designer labels from etsy.com and glues them on his goodwill purchases.

[GenessorDios]

Juvenile delinquent that he was, ^ stole freshly-hatched dinosaur eggs as a kid.

[VagrantChord]

Snaked.

^^Keeps giving away all the musician image secrets.

^Wants to make scrambled eggs from those dinosaur eggs.

[reiven]

^ paints happy clouds

[GenessorDios]

^'s dream job is to spend all day making realistic puking sound effects for Hollywood studios.

[reiven]

^ has woodstock tattooed on his ankle

[GenessorDios]

Spinning round nonstop for a minute, that's ^'s favorite technique.

[reiven]

^ believes getting back to nature means sleeping on pistachio shells

[GenessorDios]

Says he wants to protect his finger from throat acid, so ^ invites Ron Jeremy over instead. If he says so, I guess.

[reiven]

^has never won the pillsbury bake-off, despite repeated entries

[GenessorDios]

Sometimes, all ^ has to do is stare in the mirror.

[reiven]

^ expects to start shaving soon

[GenessorDios]

^ showed up to his data mining job with a pickaxe.

[reiven]

^ reads every day

[GenessorDios]

A true gentleman, ^ never hits his women when not wearing socks.

[reiven]

^ was arrested for repeatedly writing love notes on the outside of his girlfriends house

[GenessorDios]

^ 'marks his territory' in bed almost every night. On purpose, or so he claims.

[reiven]

^ compulsively buys greeting cards after watching the hallmark channel.

[GenessorDios]

To ^, silence is golden showers.

[reiven]

^ smiled when his boss called him a peon

[GenessorDios]

^ says Have car, will rape.

[VagrantChord]

^Secretly hides in the trunk when ^^ goes on panty raids at Walmart looking for leftovers.

[GenessorDios]

^ only leveled up from ErrantNote three days ago.

[VagrantChord]

^Is jealous of my steady advancement.

[gracious]

^ Aspires to be a Greeter. Meanwhile, does it pro bono.

[jkatra]

^No aspirations of any kind.

[jonnyb]

^ gives strippers 2$ bills hoping that the novelty will pay off.

[jkatra]

^Gives strippers pennies.

[reiven]

^suggested Waffle House should add a stripper pole.

[GenessorDios]

^ panhandles for tight change.

[reiven]

^closet jehova's witness

[GenessorDios]

Six feet ago, ^ was only fourteen seconds tall.

[Sprelious]

^Peeks in windows

[GenessorDios]

^ may have over 8,000 posts but people don't know he still has less than 50 pres.

[reiven]

^failed the state electrical exam so many times, they bought a new wing in the codes department with his application fees

[GenessorDios]

Unsuccessful at growing a ponytail on his head, ^ decided to cultivate it from his back instead.

[reiven]

^'s nickname in grade school was Scabies

[GenessorDios]

More than cats, dogs hate ^.

[jkatra]

^Not a leader in anything.

[reiven]

^ was in ^'s paper mache tree fort when the rains came.
it didn't end well.

[jkatra]

^Doesn't end his mystery novels with a solution to the mystery.

[reiven]

^ carries an empty smart phone case around in public pretending to text

[Sprelious]

^Carries measels

[jkatra]

^Carries weasels.

[reiven]

^ has a significant sesame seed collection

[jkatra]

^On trial for a crime he didn't commit but wanted to commit.

[reiven]

^ routinely puts raw veggies up his nose

[jkatra]

^Not smarter than a smartphone.

[reiven]

^'s thumbs look so much like toes that he was featured on an episode of Ripley’s Believe It Or Not

[venuspop]

^ is casted to play Gollum in The Hobbit.

[reiven]

^ believes squirrels choose her yard because she sprinkles sugar on the grass

[venuspop]

Thinking that the squirrels are after his nuts, :devilish: he hid them in his pockets.

[jkatra]

^Debating between choosing a career at a high-profile investment firm or a circus clown.

[venuspop]

^ promises to teach me the finer points of circus clowning.

[jkatra]

^Is a bad student in circus clowning classes.

[venuspop]

... because ^ gave too many circus clowning assignments.

[jkatra]

^Has had 276 jobs in the past 6 months.

[venuspop]

^ had only one for the same duration.

[jkatra]

^Is a part-time dervish coordinator in the city of Lansing, Michigan.

[venuspop]

^ is a part-time roller-coaster ticket inspector.

[jkatra]

^Is a part-time part-timer due to sleeping on the job.

[venuspop]

^ is a part-time part-time inspector who checks on part-timers who sleep on the job.

[jkatra]

^Sleeps off and on the job.

[venuspop]

^ knows I sleep off and on the job because ^ is stalking me. :stare:

[jonnyb]

^ on nights with full moons:

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[jkatra]

^Is slightly awesome.

[VagrantChord]

^Is so-so at roller coaster maintenance.

[Sprelious]

^Is actually an Elrectic Chair maintenance man.

[VagrantChord]

^Wants to be a test subject at my next repair job.

[jkatra]

^Is a D student.

[VagrantChord]

^Doesn't know that D stands for Dilligas.

[IronSulfide]

^ Unaware that in the academic context, D actually stands for Dunce.

[VagrantChord]

^Dilligas

[IronSulfide]

^ Dunce

[VagrantChord]

^Still trying to have sex with that carrot.

[IronSulfide]

^ Still trying to seduce Alice.

[VagrantChord]

^Obviously missed the last episode.

[IronSulfide]

^ Doesn't know that his show has been cancelled.

[VagrantChord]

^Never had a show.

[gracious]

^ His show features hand puppets, but he can only do one voice so it gets pretty confusing.

[VagrantChord]

^Wants to audition to be a second voice in my show but doesn't know if she can work the strings in the dark.

[venuspop]

^ thinks he can work more than the strings in the dark.

[jonnyb]

^ is responsible for the cargo ship disaster off the coast of New Zealand.

[venuspop]

Consistently frugal, ^ went to the disaster area with a scoop and some pail to collect the oil spills.

[IronSulfide]

^ captains a whaling ship.

[venuspop]

^ took a ride on a whaling harpoon.

[IronSulfide]

^ has a genuine tiger skin carpet.

[venuspop]

^ had a genuine lizard pendant. ;)

[IronSulfide]

^ shot Bambi's mother.

[VagrantChord]

^Tried to date Bambi's mother.

[IronSulfide]

^ is just jealous because Bambi's mother is way out of his league.

[VagrantChord]

^Is jealous because I'm not his species.

[WoodsWoman]

^is a florist.

[MrControll]

^ is a botanist

[jkatra]

^Very flowery.

[thebrainpolice]

^ wears flowers in his hair.

[WoodsWoman]

^has an entire collection of My Little Pony items.

[IronSulfide]

^ tried to steal a real pony during a rebellious teenage phase.

[reiven]

^^has all clothing separated into either the plaid closet, the polyester closet, or the closet for day-to-day wear... the hoop skirt closet.

^ is experimenting with chameleon rust

[IronSulfide]

^ owns a wide assortment of bow-ties.

[reiven]

^ has a third nipple

[WoodsWoman]

^is currently holding a position as an elected person.

[jonnyb]

^ licks cold flag poles.

[IronSulfide]

^ snacks on pine beetles.

[jkatra]

^Is a small, talkative penguin.

[reiven]

^ ordered gingivitis from Rolling Stone Magazine

[WoodsWoman]

^places advertizements in odd places. Such as the one for Pampers in Playboy.

[jkatra]

^Job application was recently rejected at McDonald's.

[WoodsWoman]

^is a Salvation Army reject.

[jkatra]

^Not the kind of person you want to be seen with during daylight hours.

[VagrantChord]

^Not the kind of person you want to be seen with anytime.

[jkatra]

^Might be legally insane.

[VagrantChord]

^Wishes he was legally sane.

[jkatra]

^Eats so many tacos that it's insane.

[VagrantChord]

^Licks the wrappers my tacos come in after I eat the tacos.

[jkatra]

^Once challenged the IRS to a sword duel.

[venuspop]

Fastest draw in the west.

[jkatra]

^Confuses west with up and sideways.

[venuspop]

^ fastest draw in the up and sideways.

[jkatra]

^Is a little on the slow side.

[Sprelious]

^ Is afraid of the big slide.

[reiven]

^ is known for his use of feng shui.
when one surveys the cardboard boxes down that alley, you can tell which one is his.

[venuspop]

^ cardboard box is the one marked with "The Ring."

[VagrantChord]

^Bought spray paint from me that he used to mark that cardboard box.

[IronSulfide]

^ Likes to start fights with box men.

[jkatra]

^Doesn't really exist in our universe.

[IronSulfide]

^ Exists in all universes simultaneously.

[jkatra]

^Has no plans on the horizon.

[venuspop]

^ talks to the horizon every morning even if ^ never gets a reply.

[Sprelious]

^ Believes the Horizon is a God.

[VagrantChord]

^Secretly sits on the horizon pretending to be a god waiting for the fringe benefits.

[gracious]

^ His horizontal hold has been on the fritz since the days of black and white.

[VagrantChord]

^Keeps sneaking in and messing with my horizontal hold knob.

[deconspire]

^...which is only because his "horizontal hold knob" can't get fully erect. And is complaining about having a fluffer!

[VagrantChord]

^Complains he's not getting enough fluffer work.

[IronSulfide]

^ Knows this because he stole deaconspire's night shift.

[venuspop]

^ knows everything there is to know about night shifts.

[Sprelious]

^ Starred in the movie.

[venuspop]

^ produced it.

[Sprelious]

^ Produced odd noises.

[venuspop]

^ used said noises for the sound effects in his movie.

[VagrantChord]

^Makes an odd noise when you tickle behind her ears and her belly at the same time.

[IronSulfide]

^ makes beeping noises while asleep.

[VagrantChord]

^Reacts to beeping noises as if they were mating calls.