Let's Spread Rumors

[Distance]

Thinks that I think we're still talking about cats.

*sharpens claws*

[gracious]

^ Has a formidable death stare and does not find my teasing cute.

[Sprelious]

^Is cute despite what others may think

[gracious]

Given his expertise in folding towels, may not have a future as an origami artist.

[Sprelious]

^Needs to concentrate on Macrame

[gracious]

^ Never gives up.

[Sprelious]

^Doesn't either

[gracious]

^ Is quite the social butterfly on this site.

[thebrainpolice]

^Has 10,000 Facebook friends.

[gracious]

^ Thinks I would think that was a compliment.

[thebrainpolice]

^Has 10,000 Facebook friends, but none in real life.

^ Thinks I would think that was a compliment.

I fixed it.

[gracious]

^ Nothing if not accurate to a fault.

[ness2361]

Is made up entirely of recycled rubber tires.

[GenessorDios]

In ^'s Sith remake of The Empire Strikes Back, her favorite line is Evildo, or evildon't. There is no eviltry.

Apparently contractions, as well as mass murder, are only practiced by the dark side.

[Sprelious]

^Goes into hiding sometimes

[Gerard91]

^ thinks nobody will notice him if he stands by the wall corner.

[GenessorDios]

^'s spindly frame and poor English skills contributed to his popular nickname, Spelletor.

[Sprelious]

^Is the Barber of Seville

[Gerard91]

^ sinks zet I doont now englisch

[venuspop]

^ is Lech Walesa's grandson.

[Wry Satyr]

Would that make him the Barber of Krakow? (sorry, wrong thread)

^Is Cheech Marin's spleef.

[gracious]

^ Don King's hairdresser.

[GenessorDios]

^ believes each eye perceives two identical but separate worlds and has spent the better part of a decade alternately closing and opening each eye to try and catch any discrepancies.

[gracious]

^ Unable to close eyes at all + hopelessly near-sighted. Always disappointed to find that that intriguing, shadowy shape on the horizon is just a lamp post.

[GenessorDios]

Always a stickler for quality, ^ cleans her birdcages only with her tongue. Well, not her tongue per se, but they belong to her. Well, they don't belong to her per se, but their owners don't mind her using them. Well, they don't not mind per se, but they're constantly asleep. Well, they're not asleep per se, but they can't wake up from her preprepared solution of formaldehyde & chloroform.

[Wry Satyr]

Issues gin colonics to the elderly in nearby nursing homes.

[GenessorDios]

The space between ^'s horns is almost never used to dry soiled underwear.

[gracious]

Neither ^ nor ^^ ever wear underwear.

[Wry Satyr]

wears a leather corset, but only that when clubbing to get her kink on that much faster.

[gracious]

^ Thinks that because I am Canadian "clubbing" involves baby seals in some fashion.

[GenessorDios]

^ pleases her clients rectangularly. They don't understand it either and they leave with pains in their sides.

[gracious]

^ Has never been Spongebobbed, the poor soul.

[GenessorDios]

The misremembered commercial, When in doubt, spread with grout, caused ^ some very unpleasant breakfasts.

[Wry Satyr]

^regularly attends the Canadian Ballet.

^^is a dancer in the Canadian Ballet.

[gracious]

^ Thinks pirouette is an entree on menus in Quebec. (I tell him I spilled some on myself).

[GenessorDios]

Spanish friends ask her where she's from, ^ replies Whatbec.

[gracious]

In an errant gesture of admiration, ^ couriered me a bolt.

[GenessorDios]

Unaccustomed to hugs, ^ inadvertently killed the first three attemptors. It's not her fault she practiced on lamp posts.

[Wry Satyr]

^^and in a act of utter selflessness, brought me dinner in her beak.

[gracious]

^ Wishes I was a pelican.

[GenessorDios]

After the first three unsuccessful lobotomies, surgeons were finally able to find a microscope powerful enough to locate ^'s brain. There're high hopes for number four.

[Wry Satyr]

CPU inhabbitted by Guinness Book of World Records champion spam.

[gracious]

Is listed in that book for an entirely different record.

[GenessorDios]

^ has a servant feed a cow cereal every morning, then she cuts open the stomach and has her breakfast. Each cow lasts four painful days.

[Wry Satyr]

gets all warm and snug laying in the cows' entrails.

[GenessorDios]

^ has no idea what laying in entrails entails. The paperwork alone costs $17,000.

[gracious]

^ Has taken up a collection at work, selling chocolate bars.

[Wry Satyr]

would gladly rob from babies and beg, steal, and borrow to raise that money for the chance to enjoy the entrails.

[gracious]

Will mistake GD for an ATM and withdraw any sums raised.

[Wry Satyr]

likes to watch things being raised and will purposely bring money to pay for such outings.

[gracious]

Takes my money, but would gladly do it for free.

[Wry Satyr]

knows me to well. Re-enacts the deleted scenes from 9 1/2 Weeks that were too racy to make the big screen.

[gracious]

When the fridge was empty they did unspeakable things with the remaining box of baking soda and that was actually ^'s favourite cut scene.

[Wry Satyr]

^likes it gritty, so enjoyed the baking soda, but not as much as the sand at the beach.

[gracious]

^ Has an irrational fear of sand.

[GenessorDios]

Being constantly horny has its advantages. Why just yesterday, ^^ would've been stuck outside the elevator with both hands full if not for it.

[Wry Satyr]

like to perch on statues.

[GenessorDios]

^ could kill 17 enemy soldiers in a second. The fine print here says Disclaimer: All killee soldiers must be hooked up to murderator with a common button at the user's disposal for product to work as advertised. Oh, guess I wasn't supposed to reveal that.

[gracious]

^ Could kill 17 forum members using just his personality.

[GenessorDios]

^'s armpit stench is sufficient to zombify them, just long enough for them to relocate their graves 17 miles away, then redie.

[Wry Satyr]

goes grave digging on Sunday afternoons as an adventure, pretending he's Indiana Jones.

[gracious]

In a tribute to Wizard of Oz, ^^ composed "If I Only Had a Nose."

[GenessorDios]

The short, intense bursts of pleasure ^ receives when ear-digging is enough to cripple a horse.

[Wry Satyr]

likes the scarecrow for a good roll in the hay.

[gracious]

In Oz role playing games, ^ does things that would make Toto blush.

[Wry Satyr]

^wants to have group sex with the flying monkeys.

[gracious]

^ Prefers when I am the wicked witch of the west.

[Wry Satyr]

likes to play act that she's the good witch Glenda.

[gracious]

^ Pays no attention to the man behind the curtain.

[Wry Satyr]

loves a good glory hole.

[gracious]

^ Seems to have seen a different version of the film than I did.

[Wry Satyr]

wants to be blindfolded while I tell her all about it.

[gracious]

^ There's something he doesn't want me to see.

[Wry Satyr]

(could be my hands)

^enjoys be read to while bound in positions that don't allow for movement.

[gracious]

^ Unfortunately, chose to read me the Twilight series.

[GenessorDios]

Clueless as always, ^ never realizes when she's being a third wheel.

Oh wait, that's me....

Guess I'm out. Let me know what the birdgoyle babies' names are.

[Wry Satyr]

her first choice was War and Peace.

---------- Post added 09-23-2011 at 01:35 PM ----------

GD has 3-somes with people who have split personalities so he can feel like he's at an orgy.

[gracious]

^ Sometimes does entirely boring things like going for a walk.

[Wry Satyr]

sometimes does entirely random things to take the edge off.

[Sprelious]

^Sometimes robs banks.

[Wry Satyr]

sometimes hops ranks.

[Sprelious]

^Sometimes plays nice

[jkatra]

^ Never plays.

[Distance]

Has a thing for walls.

[Sprelious]

^Plays non-stop

[gracious]

^ Makes Distance chase a flashlight beam on the wall.

[Wry Satyr]

projects teasing onto others.

[ness2361]

projects Gene Simmons'... onto others. Yuck.

[Sprelious]

^Likes the games that Distance gets to play

[Wry Satyr]

^^hates me but wants to date my tongue.

[ness2361]

I'd say it's from 1975.

[Wry Satyr]

(my tongue? It didn't know what the hell it was doing in 1975!)

^had a frolicsome affair with my tongue in 1975.

[gracious]

^ It has subsequently been put to use far more than 1,975 times.

[Wry Satyr]

but I'll never tell how many licks it took to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop.

[ness2361]

He knows: has Guinness Book of World Records and a bottle of stout in his lap.

[Sprelious]

Once met Gene Simmons at a mall for some tongue and cheek.

[GenessorDios]

Pushed over the edge by his exorbitant water bill, ^ took the fight to the source by spreading his droppings all over the trees surrounding his house.

[Wry Satyr]

molds said droppings into larger than life sculptures of dead presidents.

[gracious]

Sells the sculptures to pretentious art galleries claiming they were made by Andy Warhol.

[ness2361]

Kitchen table is a laminated Campbell's tomato soup can replicate.

[GenessorDios]

Only 17 epileptics a decade are privileged enough to be selected for entry into ^'s service, where they are required to mouthfroth on demand to top off her milkshakes. They get chocolate or strawberry infusions periodically, depending on her mood.

[Sprelious]

Has an overactive imagination.

[GenessorDios]

^ thinks all the people living in Toronto are Fromronfrom emigrants.

[gracious]

Consistently wins the Miss Congeniality award at the vending machine beauty pageants.

[Wry Satyr]

preens feathers to remove stow-away hummingbirds.

[gracious]

consumes a 750g bag of hummingbirds for daily afternoon snack.

[Wry Satyr]

provided said bag of hummingbirds, along with a 6 gallon barrel of mead to wash it down.

[gracious]

Tomorrow will get a bag of seagulls.

[Wry Satyr]

creating a delightful picnic lunch for the two of us by the seaside. Will help you pluck the seagulls and braise them with...

[gracious]

A light bernaise. And what could be a better side dish than...

[Wry Satyr]

...mushroom tortellini covered in 4 cheeses and diced black olives with a dessert of...

[gracious]

fresh local fruit with creme fraiche and perhaps some...

[Wry Satyr]

shots of Frangellico in our coffee before we leave to....

[Artio]

jail?

[gracious]

< Would call ^ a party pooper, but < is a little afraid of ^.

[ness2361]

^ Fears few; respects a few more; is open to still more...

Who said rumors have to always have an obvious negative built right in?

[gracious]

^ Sings showtunes in the shower.

[Wry Satyr]

^sings showtoons while riding public transportation.

[gracious]

^ Sharpens his horns on the subway.

[Wry Satyr]

sharpens her beak with a whet stone.

[gracious]

Sharpens forked tongue using an exercise routine Jane Fonda never could have imagined.

[Wry Satyr]

has geriatric fantasies about Jack LaLanne.

[Sprelious]

^Is Jack LaLanne

[thebrainpolice]

^ Is old enough to be Jack LaLanne's dad.

[Sprelious]

^Is Jealous

[gracious]

^ Is not yet old enough to star in a geriatric fantasy but would be awfully popular with the ladies at the retirement home.

[thebrainpolice]

^ Is one of the ladies at the retirement home.

[gracious]

^ Tries to pass himself off as an orderly so he can 'change my sheets'.

[thebrainpolice]

^ Has x-rated fantasies that involve me.

[gracious]

^ Yes, he wears a maid's outfit and cleans my house after all the hot naked people go home.

[Sprelious]

^Lives in a fun house

[venuspop]

^ loves pun in the fun house.

[Sprelious]

^Loves Fun in the sun house

[venuspop]

^ eats buns and play with guns for fun in the sun house.

[Sprelious]

Plays with Huns in the funny sun house

[venuspop]

Runs after nuns with water guns. :p

[Gerard91]

^ is the nun and she likes it more than she is allowed to :)

[Cooper]

want to be called jerry....springer

[ness2361]

Hides his second head (complete with all necessary features) under the top hat.

[reiven]

^ once used salt instead of sugar when making cookies, then half-filled the sugar bag with salt hoping to be believed.

[ness2361]

Wears rose-gold and tells others it's their glasses make 'em see his jewelry that way instead of as it really is: 24K gold, bay-bee.

[Sprelious]

^Steals jewelry from Walmart

[ness2361]

Mother still picks out his outfits.

Borrowed 'outfit' humor from Everybody Loves Raymond episode.

[gracious]

Has a closet full of loud Hawaiian shirts for every day of the week and for all seasons.

[ness2361]

Favorite song is Seasons in the Sun by Terry Jacks.

My older sister and I loved this when we were early teens.

[Sprelious]

^Wears Army Boots

[ness2361]

That's a rumor?

Puts on hair net when he grills steaks.

[gracious]

Got kicked out of the Broadway cast of "Cats" for backstage litterbox crimes.

[Gerard91]

^ predicted the death of Amy Winehouse.

[gracious]

Was the cause of the Demi/Ashton split.

[thebrainpolice]

Has multiple Ashton Kutcher tattoos.

[gracious]

Has multiple copies of the film "Ghost" and enjoys the pottery scene a little too eagerly.

[thebrainpolice]

Had multiple plastic surgeries so she could look like Farrah Fawcett

[gracious]

^The original Charlie's Angel.

[Gerard91]

^ spies every single member of his nearest family.

[thebrainpolice]

^ Jealous because she didn't get the part.

snaked.

[Gerard91]

You don't want to know how ^ plays with snakes he keeps in his house.

[thebrainpolice]

^ Runs around with snakes while dressed like this:
To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 15 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

[Negativezero]

Had sex with a cat^

[gracious]

Uses auto-tune when ordering burgers at the takeout window.

[Sprelious]

^Does the Cha Cha in shopping malls

[ness2361]

Walks for exercise in shopping malls.

[Sprelious]

^Sleeps in shopping malls

[WoodsWoman]

^Owns shopping malls. Ten of them.

[gracious]

Shoplifts odd gadgets from dollar stores.

[Sprelious]

^Makes odd gadgets and sells them to dollar store

[venuspop]

^ General at the Odd Gadget Division.

[Gerard91]

^ wants to sell a dog:
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Blanket and floor shown are not included.

[venuspop]

^ transmogrified into

To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 15 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Poor Gerard91

[gracious]

< Bought both of them and staged a deathmatch fight in my backyard.

[Sprelious]

Will soon be in Micheal Vick's old cell.

[ness2361]

Uses coat hanger to get dirt from under toe nails.

(Only at work, though)

[Sprelious]

Uses tampax for napkins.

[ness2361]

Only O.B.--they expand when wet so much better than Tampax brand.

Has grandchildren cut your hair because they enjoy it and the $ savings adds up.

[Rudy]

I hear ness wasn't good enough to be a loch.

[ness2361]

Truth or truth game, Rudy?

(sweetNess, sexiNess, mysteriousNess...: Gromit's nickname I borrowed and ain't giving back.)

Ah, Rumor for Rudy:

Gives up Sunday Pentecostal Hour to volunteer in secular Soup Kitchen.

[Rudy]

Only the first half of that rumor is true ;D

I hear ness once spent ten years on the streets of Prag as a bum, just to see what it was like.

[ness2361]

I knew you'd like it :=]

Well, I would have done that bum thing as an experiment if I could have made it to Prague, so we're still in the truth arena. Hmmm:

Rudy shaves head every night just before bed so sleep is smooooooth.

[Rudy]

Rudy shaves head every night just before bed so sleep is smooooooth.

smooth is just a natural trait of mine.

I heard that ness thinks nachos are "nature's perfect food".

[Sprelious]

Lives by bread and water alone

[thebrainpolice]

Eats cardboard.

[yourstrulyRL]

spits while he talks
though seriously, who can blame him -his jowls are incredible..

[Sprelious]

Worries constantly about rain.

[yourstrulyRL]

thinks his squinty-eyed stare (as demonstrated in his profile photo) is sexually attractive

[Sprelious]

^Thinks her obtuse stare is sexually attractive

[ness2361]

Had ears clipped so he's look more authentically human.

[Sprelious]

^Makes cheese from mayonaise

[ness2361]

Eats yogurt with a fork.

[venuspop]

Combs her hair with a fork.

[Eye on Earth]

Is about the same shape as a football and enjoys being punted.

[Gerard91]

Punting is the philosophy of every football team.

[Rudy]

I hear gerard is secretly a louse-animagus!

[thebrainpolice]

^Is as short as that box critter in his avatar.

[Rudy]

^ Really is a crook.

[Sprelious]

Likes to play with things.

[Gerard91]

^ Has a very special toy that he likes to put in a very special place...


PS (Of course I mean a door key)

[thebrainpolice]

^ Works in the "adult entertainment" industry.

[venuspop]

^ is the entertainer.

[Gerard91]

^ is actually a dog

snaked

^ is the cameraman

[Sprelious]

Jealous

[thebrainpolice]

^ Is determined to beat Cooper's post count.

[Sprelious]

Pays waaaaaay too much attention to post count.

[Gerard91]

^ has sexual relationship with a mailbox.

[venuspop]

Hiding in said mailbox. ;)

[Sprelious]

Makes wine from old newspapers.

[venuspop]

Gets high from slapping self with said old newspapers...;)

[Sprelious]

Gets high by climbing.

[Gerard91]

^ gets high with the help of elevator/lift.

[gracious]

^ Prefers to get low.

[Gerard91]

^ prefers to stay medium.

[Sprelious]

I guess you must be wavy.

[Gerard91]

^ is a sinusoid.

[Sprelious]

Has post nasal drip.

[thebrainpolice]

Is picking his nose now.

[reiven]

^^ is known for the symmetry of his kitchen. all pot handles are at a 45 degree angle from the cabinet door, all glasses are stacked largest in the back, to smallest in front, plastic on the left.

the spice rack has been featured in Garnish Monthly. 46 spices arranged from seed to leaf to powder, segregated by color, with expiration dates highlighted in yellow.

^ began pairing up one shoe from each pair thrown away. one old left tennis shoe this month; retired an old right dress shoe last year. this month will make 16 pair.

[thebrainpolice]

^ Spends all of his free time thinking of highly detailed games threads posts.

[reiven]

^ began a MLM company selling free time. it was based on offset credits.

clever, actually.

[Sprelious]

Kept the ring after shooting concluded.

[Rudy]

I hear Sprelious lost his shadow years ago; he's been looking for it since.

[venuspop]

^ carries a syringe everywhere he goes so he can stick them into unsuspecting forum members to collect blood for his blood bank. :anxious:

[Gerard91]

^ is actually the "Clever Bot"

[venuspop]

^ is Walesa's grandson. ;)

[Gerard91]

^ is the daughter of Abraham Lincoln.

[Sprelious]

^Is the Creature From The Black Lagoon

[WoodsWoman]

^posts a lot so that perchance he might happen into this: {{{{Spre}}}}

[Munglik]

Has trained a couple of chickens to whistle the albanian anthem.

[WoodsWoman]

^Detains little old ladies in WalMart parking lots.

[thebrainpolice]

^ Is not a woman and has never been in the woods.

[Sprelious]

Has no brain to police.

[Rudy]

I hear Sprelious has been stuck in an air conditioning duct for years.

[Sprelious]

Has four legs, two for each penis.

[Rudy]

I hear Sprelious is hung like a barnicle.

Proportionally (To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 15 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.).

[Sprelious]

Can actually kiss his own ass

[Rudy]

A little bird told me that Sprelious uses the snooze button an overage of 57 times per day.

[Sprelious]

lives on the moon.

[Rudy]

^ moons on the beach

[Sprelious]

Frolics naked in the waves.

[venuspop]

goes skinny dipping in the fountains of Rome.

[Rudy]

^ Goes double dipping in the chip dip at parties.

[venuspop]

^ triple-dipped in the chocolate fountain.

[Sprelious]

^Eats chocolate out of dumsters

[Distance]

Eats and enjoys spam!

[venuspop]

... from a distance.

[Apophenia]

Hates kittens^

[Gerard91]

^ likes going to the shop nude.

< hates monkeys (it's true)

[Rudy]

I hear that, although Gerard hates monkeys, he's a filthy ape lover. Those damn, dirty apes!

[Gerard91]

^ sits next to a very attractive someone and she doesn't know that she thinks loud - and that person actually heard this.

[gracious]

^ Considers asking his imaginary friend out for coffee but can't quite get up the nerve.

[Gerard91]

^ reads a book holding it upside down.

[Sprelious]

Judges books by their covers.