View Full Version : Let's Spread Rumors
08-07-2011, 06:15 PM
^ Had a nose job.
08-07-2011, 06:17 PM
^was expelled from taco bell commercials for abusing narcotics and having erratic episodes/seizures.
08-07-2011, 06:18 PM
^Had a whisker job
08-07-2011, 06:19 PM
^ Can't do the ONE thing. :p
08-07-2011, 06:20 PM
^^(Sprelious) fired from his job waiting tables after serving cat meat for the lulz.
08-07-2011, 06:48 PM
^ Above was the best pussy he ever ate.
08-07-2011, 06:50 PM
^Picky about the worms she pecked on.
08-07-2011, 06:53 PM
^ Is all about the nutrition.
08-07-2011, 06:56 PM
^ Thinks ISTJ men are sexy.
08-07-2011, 06:57 PM
^ Also thinks that.
08-07-2011, 07:28 PM
^Got kicking out of the Watergate dining room for drueling
08-07-2011, 07:32 PM
^ Invented the new extreme sport of drueling. "I challenge thee to a druel. Swords and drool and dawn".
08-07-2011, 07:34 PM
^Doesn't know the spelling of drool is changed when it's a defect code
08-07-2011, 07:39 PM
^ Premise is pretty gangly.
08-07-2011, 08:04 PM
Once, ^ had an itch in her stomach so she cut off her arm and swallowed it to scratch her tummy from the inside. She's okay now though, she had it on a string and pulled it back out.
08-07-2011, 08:05 PM
^ Works with chemicals. Put up your hand if you're surprised.
08-07-2011, 08:13 PM
^Put up her hand once
08-07-2011, 10:03 PM
Being the child that he is, upon finding lumps in his testicles, ^ turned to his wife and said I'm so badass, even my balls have balls.
08-07-2011, 11:08 PM
^ was never allowed to say balls, or even testicles, so now he has to, has to, has to... until the times he says these words outnumber the times he was disallowed verbalizing them, them, them... (My record player got stuck on Simpson Suit's groove thang.)
08-07-2011, 11:51 PM
^ is snoring her pretty head off, right about now.
08-08-2011, 12:04 AM
Likes to do it ... human-style.
08-08-2011, 12:06 AM
^ Loves to watch...yes....just watch....;)
08-08-2011, 01:42 AM
Fleas are ^'s biggest flaw. Well, that and the tendency to embark on a citywide murderous rampage every time a cashier hands her the wrong amount of change....but mostly the fleas.
08-08-2011, 05:21 AM
Lost in the vast empty space between his ears.
08-08-2011, 05:25 AM
^ Thinks he's invisible when he's inside the blender. I see you .... *growls*
08-08-2011, 05:34 AM
Doesn't know who Starbuck is.
08-08-2011, 05:38 AM
Unlike most people who would point to their chest when referring to themselves, ^ seems to like pointing to his heel.
08-08-2011, 05:44 AM
Points at his eye when referring to himself. Has had many subsequent cornea replacement surgeries to makeup for his lack of spatial awareness.
08-08-2011, 05:48 AM
Despite hundreds of scientific excursions to the mall, ^ still hasn't figured out the technology that allows the map to pinpoint his precise location.
08-08-2011, 07:20 AM
^ has actually been on a battlestar.
08-08-2011, 07:26 AM
Can't read a GPS to save his life.
08-08-2011, 07:33 AM
As his flesh was being eaten and his blood gulped down, ^'s music teacher regretted telling someone as demented as ^ that he had to eat and drink music to become truly skillful.
08-08-2011, 10:37 AM
^Used to be a music teacher
08-08-2011, 10:57 AM
^ has a crippling fear of music teachers.s
08-08-2011, 11:06 AM
^ Is a vuvuzela afficionado, perhaps even a savant.
08-08-2011, 01:58 PM
08-08-2011, 04:14 PM
^Needs to brush up on her TV shows
08-08-2011, 04:49 PM
^ Picks pockets to supplement income.
08-08-2011, 05:13 PM
^ Makes pockets to suppliment his/hers: does sex matter...
08-08-2011, 05:16 PM
^ Keeps a pet armadillo.
08-08-2011, 05:16 PM
08-08-2011, 05:18 PM
^ Allergic to cats.
08-08-2011, 05:21 PM
^ Serves cat meat at the restaurant he owns.
08-08-2011, 05:24 PM
^ is homeless.
08-08-2011, 05:25 PM
^ Manages an Italian restaurant staffed with Bengali cooks.
08-08-2011, 05:29 PM
Manages a Bengali restaurant staffed with xenophobic Chinese.
08-08-2011, 05:32 PM
^ Helps the Chinese government crack down on dissenters.
08-08-2011, 05:36 PM
^ patronizes said restaurant at least three times during the week and every third saturday of the month. :p
08-08-2011, 05:42 PM
^ Owns Chinese crack house (where are my big 'ol smileys)
Need 'em cuz Unruly has arrived :thumbsup:
there they are!
08-08-2011, 05:53 PM
^ Designs new emoticons in her spare time.
08-08-2011, 06:38 PM
^Sells hotdogs at Coney Island
08-08-2011, 06:39 PM
^Buys hotdogs at Coney Island.
08-08-2011, 06:41 PM
^eats Hot Dogs at Coney Island (Don't let the avatar fool ya)
08-08-2011, 06:51 PM
^^ eats tofu dogs at Coney Island: don't let Coney Island's history fool you because the time's they are a'changin...
---------- Post added 08-08-2011 at 07:52 PM ----------
^ wears a toupee when he's swimming.
08-08-2011, 06:55 PM
due to misunderstanding a slang term, ^ had an unfortunate incident involving peach skins and superglue when she felt late entering puberty
08-08-2011, 09:19 PM
^ was the freak product of too much time at the tanning salon and not enough sunscreen
08-08-2011, 09:34 PM
Paler than a vampire's ass.
08-08-2011, 10:42 PM
^ Better looking than I imagined.
Oh, that's true...
Does your face hurt? It's killed several fellow Forumers since you changed avis.
There, a little better.
08-08-2011, 11:37 PM
08-09-2011, 03:21 AM
08-09-2011, 04:17 AM
^ stares. :disguise:
08-09-2011, 04:40 AM
^ owns a windmill.
08-09-2011, 05:12 AM
08-09-2011, 05:36 AM
^ IS a windmill. ;)
08-09-2011, 07:12 AM
08-09-2011, 07:53 AM
Is a bum who lives by the seashore.
08-09-2011, 08:27 AM
Is a bum who had to resign under dubious circumstances
08-09-2011, 09:38 AM
^ Had his memory stolen by government agents.
08-09-2011, 10:10 AM
^ Is spying on this forum on behalf of the government.
08-09-2011, 12:12 PM
^^ Was deployed by ^.
08-09-2011, 12:48 PM
^ Is being wiretapped by
08-09-2011, 01:14 PM
^ will die of boredom.
08-09-2011, 01:28 PM
^ founded a religion devoted to the deification of Mickey Mouse.
08-09-2011, 01:44 PM
Can't get enough of Minnie Mouse.
08-09-2011, 03:15 PM
^ proposed to Minnie Mouse but was turned down for lack of cash.
08-09-2011, 04:57 PM
^'s attempts to fly by pumping one nostril with helium while the other's sporting a snot bubble have yet to be successful.
08-09-2011, 05:51 PM
^ Has successfully flown by the Howie Mandel method of inflated rubber glove over the head.
08-09-2011, 08:52 PM
You know what I found out recently? ^ is neither gracious, nor a bird! I feel so violated.
Turns out, she's actually a rude gerbil.
08-09-2011, 08:57 PM
^ isn't as large as he looks. He's actually something tiny squatting inside that storage locker with a remote control in his hands. Sometimes he knocks into walls and furniture. This explains the grimace on his host face.
08-09-2011, 09:01 PM
^ Is probably right about the tin man
08-09-2011, 09:06 PM
^ is feeling depressed because his pick up line The truth's in here, baby while pointing to his crotch hasn't worked for over five years.
08-09-2011, 09:07 PM
^ shoes sucks! :p
08-09-2011, 09:07 PM
Banned for being tooooooooooooooo funny
08-09-2011, 09:27 PM
^'s depression also sometimes causes misreading of thread titles. It's a very specific symptom that has doctors stumped.
08-09-2011, 09:29 PM
^'s analysis is often flawed because he does not and cannot read into the intricacies of fine posting. :p
08-09-2011, 09:40 PM
^ uses her slowly dripping drool to compare and ensure that her rulers are as straight as advertised.
08-09-2011, 09:42 PM
^ rolls luxuriously in said drool.
08-10-2011, 04:49 AM
^ sips drool through a crazy straw.
08-10-2011, 05:32 AM
^ fought with GD over rolling rights in said drool.
08-10-2011, 06:28 AM
^A dog that doesn't drool. Very rare
08-10-2011, 11:18 AM
^lives in Antarctica
08-10-2011, 11:20 AM
Also lives with the peguins
08-10-2011, 11:49 AM
^introduced me to them.
08-10-2011, 01:30 PM
Also introduced her to the joker.
08-10-2011, 03:17 PM
^Is a villain from the 1960s Batman TV show.
08-10-2011, 03:39 PM
Is old enough to remember
08-10-2011, 03:55 PM
^has been known for stalking the mailman
08-10-2011, 04:08 PM
Is the baddest bird in the coop
08-10-2011, 05:01 PM
^ can see dead people.
08-10-2011, 05:34 PM
Secretly replays that message from Leia to Obi-Wan when no one is looking.
08-10-2011, 05:53 PM
owns extensive collection of authentic Star Wars memorabilia
08-10-2011, 05:56 PM
^ thinks Darth Maul is cooler than Darth Vader.
08-10-2011, 05:56 PM
^ Looks like this
To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 15 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
08-10-2011, 05:58 PM
^ finds Jabba physically attractive.
08-10-2011, 06:27 PM
^Laughs like Salacious Crumb.
08-10-2011, 06:28 PM
Is hot for wrinkly old teachers.
08-10-2011, 06:29 PM
Is sleeping with the principal.
08-10-2011, 06:32 PM
Is intimately aware of c3p0's metal.
08-10-2011, 06:33 PM
^ Tries to get sent to the principal's office, but is unable to break the rules.
08-10-2011, 06:35 PM
Has broken every rule a minimum of four times.
08-10-2011, 06:35 PM
^ Got fired from her job as a principal for wearing a skirt that was way to short.
Edit: Spies of forum members so he can snake them.
08-10-2011, 06:37 PM
^ Offered me a new job, but there weren't going to be any teenagers around so I declined.
08-10-2011, 06:38 PM
Was under her desk at the time
08-10-2011, 07:23 PM
When it's too cold, ^ gets a ladder and tries to blow all the cold air back into the a/c.
08-10-2011, 07:33 PM
Has an oil leak
08-10-2011, 07:54 PM
08-10-2011, 07:58 PM
Game thread junkie
08-10-2011, 07:59 PM
08-10-2011, 09:25 PM
Unbeknownst to ^, his tie and collar are fighting an epic battle. The evil tie has had enough of his tyranny and is trying to strangle him while brave knight Sir Collarus is valiantly defending his trachea.
08-10-2011, 11:28 PM
^ needs to be lubricated twice a week.. else, he squeaks.
08-10-2011, 11:36 PM
^ likes it when her doggie groomer clips bows in her hair after a bath and blow-dry.
08-10-2011, 11:42 PM
^ can't tell the difference between a fish and a shrimp.
08-10-2011, 11:51 PM
^ is allergic to shrimp, but not fish. Sure showed you. :p
08-10-2011, 11:54 PM
^holds the world record for most blow jobs given in a 3 day time span.
08-10-2011, 11:55 PM
^ ate the dish instead of the fish.
---------- Post added 08-11-2011 at 02:56 PM ----------
^holds the world record for most blow jobs given in a 3 day time span.
cries in ecstasy when he imagined he's getting a blow job. ;)
08-10-2011, 11:56 PM
^ was the dish that fell for the bait.
08-10-2011, 11:57 PM
^ was in dire strait because of the bait.
08-11-2011, 12:14 AM
Was the bait that made ^ late.
08-11-2011, 12:20 AM
^ Late for a date with her flatmate.
08-11-2011, 12:22 AM
^ only likes to use public toilet seats that have pee splatters on them.
08-11-2011, 12:27 AM
^ splatters pee on said toilet seats because he can't aim right. ;)
08-11-2011, 12:28 AM
^ has never worked a high pressure hose.
08-11-2011, 12:33 AM
^ has never worn a pantyhose.
08-11-2011, 12:35 AM
08-11-2011, 04:29 AM
^ likes to wear bangles.
08-11-2011, 04:36 AM
^ likes to wear lots of makeup.
08-11-2011, 04:37 AM
^ finds that sexy.
08-11-2011, 06:33 AM
^ gets mistaken for a vibrator and shoved into strange, dark places often.
08-11-2011, 06:43 AM
Found a penny and picked it up strained his back so much for good luck.
08-11-2011, 06:44 AM
^Uses that vibrator on his own strange dark place.
08-11-2011, 06:48 AM
Has a fixation on dildos
08-11-2011, 07:04 AM
Is the same, except uses them regularly.
08-11-2011, 07:34 AM
Has a dildo collection even Madonna would envy.
08-11-2011, 08:33 AM
Can fit that entire collection with room to spare.
08-11-2011, 09:14 AM
Wants to laugh and smile, but can't out of fear that his face would crack.
08-11-2011, 09:54 AM
Hasn't replaced computer in over a decade.
08-11-2011, 09:55 AM
Computer is named Joshua.
08-11-2011, 10:16 AM
Named his phone Andrew.
08-11-2011, 10:18 AM
Frequently gets into arguments with Samantha the microwave.
08-11-2011, 10:49 AM
Has a three legged dog named Skip
08-11-2011, 02:04 PM
Was once kicked out of the petting zoo for trying to pet other people's children.
08-11-2011, 02:07 PM
Has a bumper sticker that reads "I only molested that one kids, give me a break"
08-11-2011, 02:41 PM
Ran over two kids at a crosswalk and kept driving.
08-11-2011, 03:39 PM
Has little shoes for each of his four feet
08-11-2011, 05:17 PM
Once brushed his teeth with preparation-h.
08-11-2011, 05:20 PM
^'s claim of I can kill you using just this paperclip lost most of its impressiveness when he then used said stationery item to press a button that summoned fifty henchmen.
08-11-2011, 05:21 PM
Used preparation h for its intended purpose then scraped off some of the excess and brushed his teeth with it.
Edit: ^ Sold his body to Richard Nixon.
08-11-2011, 05:25 PM
@GenessorDios: Well, it worked didn't it?
@thebrainpolice: that's called being frugal!
Sold his brain to Richard Nixon.
08-11-2011, 06:00 PM
Petrified of moving. He turned into a statue.
08-11-2011, 06:02 PM
^ looked into the face of Medusa. :( I am sorry. I warned you.
08-11-2011, 07:42 PM
Stole an old woman's wheelchair to make a go cart
08-11-2011, 08:10 PM
^ Stole a homeless guy's shopping cart.
08-11-2011, 08:24 PM
^ stole a toddler's stroller. That's just wrong. Bad ^!
08-11-2011, 08:47 PM
Drooled while Michelle Bachmann spoke on the Fox debate.
08-11-2011, 08:55 PM
^ wiped the drool off of ^^'s face and ^ own after watching Michelle speak on Fox news.
(really?!? Now that's wrong! Bad ^!)
08-11-2011, 09:18 PM
^ Fancies (being?) Medusa.
08-11-2011, 09:27 PM
Wait... this is the spreading rumors thread.
08-11-2011, 09:28 PM
Doesn't know what a rumor is.
08-11-2011, 09:42 PM
^ stayed up past his bedtime and is now quite ornery.
08-11-2011, 09:43 PM
Likes spankings when breaking the rules.
08-11-2011, 09:48 PM
Takes taking me over his knee.
08-11-2011, 09:54 PM
Requested I spare the rod and use the paddle.
08-11-2011, 09:58 PM
Was going to use the paddle to begin with.
08-11-2011, 09:59 PM
Well, then, would you prefer the flogger or the whip?
(She loves that whip.)
08-11-2011, 10:02 PM
Prefers using the flogger.
08-11-2011, 10:04 PM
Banned for unfounded disappointment.
08-11-2011, 10:09 PM
^ confused this thread with the Banned thread.
08-11-2011, 10:10 PM
^Is slow. No, she was really banned for that. Why else wouldn't she reply by now?
08-11-2011, 10:16 PM
Impatient. (had to get ready. okay commence the flogging)
08-11-2011, 10:17 PM
08-11-2011, 10:18 PM
08-11-2011, 10:20 PM
08-11-2011, 10:22 PM
Collared by choice.
08-11-2011, 10:23 PM
Cornered by Joyce.
08-11-2011, 10:24 PM
^ cornered and cuddled by ^^^.
08-11-2011, 10:31 PM
^ face licked by ^^ :p
08-11-2011, 11:10 PM
^ hypnotized with her lovely eyes. I just told you not to look!
08-12-2011, 01:18 AM
Shut down the natural gas refineries! ^ just had a burrito so we're good for at least twenty years.
08-12-2011, 04:40 AM
^ eats light bulbs.
08-12-2011, 04:43 AM
08-12-2011, 04:48 AM
Lives in the Amazon.
08-12-2011, 04:51 AM
Also lives in the amazon. But we are worlds a part because ^ lives in the canopy. And I swim in a puddle of water. Hehe.
08-12-2011, 04:53 AM
Swim in a puddle of water? ^ is a tadpole? ;)
08-12-2011, 04:56 AM
Is a tadpole lover. :p
08-12-2011, 05:01 AM
Have a weakness for tadpole lovers. :p
08-12-2011, 05:07 AM
Has a PHD in tadpoles for Frogger University
08-12-2011, 05:09 AM
Distinguished Frogologist specializing in Tadpology.
08-12-2011, 05:20 AM
Distinguished psycologist specializing in INTJ related mental illness
08-12-2011, 05:21 AM
^ is one of my patients. :p
08-12-2011, 05:25 AM
^Is two of your patients
08-12-2011, 05:27 AM
Hence ^ can post faster than me.
08-12-2011, 06:59 AM
To entertain herself, ^ often puts a clothespin on her tail and chases it until she collapses.
08-12-2011, 07:35 AM
Doesn't need a clothespin to chase his own tail.
08-12-2011, 08:24 AM
^'s chosen line of business is to think of a bright idea, then catch the light bulb that manifests and sell it. The only flaw is that he forgot he's stupid.
08-12-2011, 08:26 AM
^Is the lost Brady Brother
08-12-2011, 08:38 AM
^ once swam to the moon to receive an award from the president. Can you do that? No you can't, so shut up.
08-12-2011, 08:42 AM
^ Won Hall Monitor of the year award four times
08-12-2011, 09:00 AM
^'s journal is so boring, he gets drowsy just writing in it. A complete sentence has yet to make its appearance within.
08-12-2011, 09:03 AM
What? Huh? you mean I .... can't be .... I was just .... nevermind
Has the mistaken impression his shit doesn't stink, just because it's metal
08-12-2011, 09:50 AM
Yellow Submarine is ^'s favorite song.
08-12-2011, 12:08 PM
Row Row Row you're boat is ^'s favorite song
08-12-2011, 01:22 PM
^ Likes to sing along with Barney and friends.
08-12-2011, 01:34 PM
Is a big fan of tinky winky.
08-12-2011, 03:33 PM
Developed a winking tic by the age of 18 that only occurs when crossing paths with elderly men.
08-12-2011, 04:02 PM
Has a foot fetish.
08-12-2011, 04:07 PM
Has a hand fetish.
08-12-2011, 04:12 PM
Has extra long hand in her avatar to attract Sprelious.
08-12-2011, 04:42 PM
Perceives sharpened claws as soft fingers...
08-12-2011, 05:04 PM
Paid 2-million-dollars to buy Liberace's sock-garters.
08-12-2011, 05:13 PM
Paid 12 million to kiss Hillary Clinton on the cheek.
08-12-2011, 05:42 PM
Paid 12 million dollars to kiss Bill Gates ass
08-12-2011, 05:51 PM
Paid two million to kiss ^^'s ass.
Yeah. I'm still puzzled by that one.
08-12-2011, 05:52 PM
Wanted to take pictures of ^^ kissing ^^^'s ass. Was refused while I ran to the bank and cashed that $2m check.
08-12-2011, 05:57 PM
^ isn't old enough to have a bank account. Tell the truth.
08-12-2011, 06:08 PM
^Didn't observe what I gave the pretty teller when I ran to the bank today. Quite thick, in fact.
08-12-2011, 06:31 PM
Wanted by the police for slipping thick volumes of lewd poetry to pretty bank tellers.
08-12-2011, 06:50 PM
Tried to rob a bank with a water pistol.
08-12-2011, 06:55 PM
Tried to rob a bank with a water pistol.
Is in denial. The local news station covered the story pretty accurately.
08-12-2011, 06:59 PM
Works as an intern at the local news station.
08-12-2011, 07:14 PM
08-12-2011, 07:17 PM
08-12-2011, 07:21 PM
Requests to have INTJf set up a rep comment system for commenting on rep comments have so far gone unheeded. Nevertheless, ^'s letter writing campaign still continues.
08-12-2011, 08:55 PM
^ has something up his butt.
Hehe. That would be my foot for the burrito rumor last night.
08-12-2011, 09:28 PM
Really, pissed at him because he sucked up her favorite pointy toed, stileto-heeled boots.
08-12-2011, 09:35 PM
^ Agent of PETA
How else would you know they were seal-skin boots?
Psst. Ness they were (baby-seal-skin) boots. Darn expensive, but oh so smooth on my tender calves.
08-12-2011, 10:25 PM
^ You itty-bitty baby seal beater. And your plastic cast of Hannibal the cannibal is ready now.
08-12-2011, 10:44 PM
^ eats filet mignon...
Every single bite.
08-12-2011, 10:45 PM
Unruly and I have dated. She enjoyed it very much. It was before she was married. I had to call it off though..
08-12-2011, 10:51 PM
^ then you would be slacking off on your beat again and why aren't you here if you are taking a break? Are you at dunkin' doughnuts again? Bring me some doughnut holes, please.
08-13-2011, 12:10 AM
If you cut ^ up, all you see are donuts...:p
08-13-2011, 02:37 AM
Living with ^ has its perks such as constant fertilizer production in the bedroom.
08-13-2011, 02:49 AM
^ finds nothing more gratifying than to roll about in said fertilizer for at least two hours, enough time for the scent to penetrate his metallic frame. ;)
08-13-2011, 02:52 AM
^ built an igloo made of chiwawas and tried melting it
08-13-2011, 02:54 AM
As skittish as the horse he's straddling. ;)
08-13-2011, 03:36 AM
^ is a cruel and sour soul :(
08-13-2011, 03:37 AM
Has an itch where scratching isn't possible
08-13-2011, 04:39 AM
Master of the Itch.
08-13-2011, 04:55 AM
Has a brown nose from sniffing other dogs' butts.
08-13-2011, 06:33 AM
Has a brown nose from sniffing Erlichman's butt
vBulletin® v3.8.7, Copyright ©2000-2013, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.