Let's Spread Rumors

[venuspop]

^ is dressed up to the nines.

[UnrulyR3d]

^ likes to talk numbers in bed.

[venuspop]

^ hates numbers. :p

[UnrulyR3d]

^ needs constant supervision.

[venuspop]

^ loves to supervise and nag. :p

[ness2361]

^ has baboon's heart.

[venuspop]

^ is baboon brained. :p ~~~ *just kidding*

[IronSulfide]

^ keeps baboon organs in freezer at home.

[Fyrnae]

^ collected them for her for a modest fee.

[IronSulfide]

^ sets fires.

[gracious]

^ Perfect Day - chocolate, cosmopolitans (one beverage, one magazine), the latest film with Matthew McConaughey, a warm bath and some Jane Austen.

[Fyrnae]

^ has a lot of transference issues.

[Artio]

^ gives me disturbing ideas about thunder storms and cocks. ;D

[IronSulfide]

^ posted this at the office when she was supposed to be working.

[Artio]

^ is totally confused with time zones

[IronSulfide]

^ lives at the South Pole, where she is in all time zones at once.

[Fyrnae]

^ would defend his rhubarb to the death.

[datagirl]

^revived by rhubarb pie

[Winklepicker]

^sniffs grilled watermelon rinds in the dark

[ness2361]

^ Was named by Dr. Seuss

[venuspop]

^ gives me the occasional smiles. :)

[ness2361]

^ has puppy breath, one of the best kinds to have.

[DoubleEntendre]

^ Can't stop winking at the monitor.

[IronSulfide]

^ counts sheep to fall asleep.

[NovXI]

^ is training communist militia with 2pac and Biggie in Cuba

[IronSulfide]

^ tried to assassinate Castro.

[UnrulyR3d]

^ wishes the sorting hat would pick him to be in the sytherin house.

[Fyrnae]

^ does not want IS invading her house.

[reiven]

while strip mining in the peruvian rain forest, fyrn found almost 700 million in spanish gold specie. she had every other member of the strip mining company murdered, but she funded a generous endowment for their families.

[IronSulfide]

^ is a freemason.

[reiven]

^ is the evolutionary product of livewood boomerangs

[IronSulfide]

^ a product of unintelligent design.

[Fyrnae]

^ a by-product of same.

[IronSulfide]

^ still uses a carbon copier.

[gracious]

^ Rotary dial phone.

[ness2361]

^ Contacts still in Roll-a-Dex.

[Winklepicker]

^discretely pokes large holes in spongy furnature when a guest at someone's house while extracting the foam and stashing in his/her (?) left sock

[Fyrnae]

^ was burgled of foam years ago and has never forgiven the perpetrator.

[ness2361]

^ is pregnant and during last gestation, ate foam which is not unusual as one might think.

[Fyrnae]

^ is still slathered in primordial ooze.

[reiven]

^ has viking braids hanging from each shin

[Fyrnae]

^ is pissed because I pinched his hair to make the extensions.

[reiven]

^ tells people her braided leg hair is artificial

[IronSulfide]

^ is hosting an alien parasite.

[Fyrnae]

^ is the alien parasite in question -- he just wants you to think he's a lizard.

[reiven]

^still owns a set of Lawn Darts

[UnrulyR3d]

^ uses more than his fair share of sunscreen while laying out on the lawn

[reiven]

^ is neither unruly, red, nor three.

[gracious]

^ name is anagram for popular drinking game, I Never. And has precious few examples he can use in that game anymore. Gets drunk very quickly.

[reiven]

^ wants to be a school guidance counselor.

[GrnEyz]

^tried out for the local high school football team as the football... but couldn't quite compress to the proper dimensions...

[ness2361]

^ Tried out for local talent show as MC then misplaced the mike.

[venuspop]

^ sings like a nightingale

[Fyrnae]

^ howls like a dog when she gets excited.

[IronSulfide]

^ lives in a log cabin.

[Fyrnae]

^ built it.

[UnrulyR3d]

^actually plays brass.

[gracious]

^ actually plays the vuvuzela.

[ness2361]

^^ is quite well-behaved.

[Winklepicker]

^flings plastic spoons at men with shaggy, white hair who play bagpipes

[venuspop]

^ breaks every egg in sight.

[Fyrnae]

^ breaks every heart in sight, which is how she got her username.

[IronSulfide]

^ is a huge Harry Potter fan.

[gracious]

^ Has a vast collection of Precious Moments figurines.

[IronSulfide]

^ lives in a repossessed vehicle.

[GettingBetter]

^ joy rides in that home of a vehicle

[gracious]

^ refuses to wear her seatbelt so that she can enjoy the sound of the warning buzzer for the entire trip.

[Winklepicker]

^has purple skin envy, so therefore chokes him/her(?)-self for 8 minutes before stepping out the door every morning.

[discontinuous]

^ Likes to ring doorbells at 4am.

[ness2361]

^ loves wrap-around sentences.

[venuspop]

^ loves sweet wrappers.

[Fyrnae]

^ donates all hers to ^^ after she's eaten the sweets.

[IronSulfide]

^ likes pulling fire alarms.

[gracious]

^ Is a fireman. Probably at the root of why ^^ does that.

[IronSulfide]

^ prays to the Sun.

[memory]

Refuses to give kids candy at Halloween.

[Wry Satyr]

Dumps scalding melted chocolate on trick-or-treaters.

[gracious]

^ Still goes trick-or-treating in remote neighbourhoods.

[Wry Satyr]

^thought Mardi Gras and Carnival were continuations of Halloween, so ^ goes trick-or-treating at those times, too.

[gracious]

^ Shows his/her boobs at Mardi Gras in return for cheap beads.

[memory]

^Knows from person experience that not all beads-for-boobs are cheap.

[gracious]

^ 401K consists entirely of beads.

[IronSulfide]

^ Doesn't even have a 401K.

[Caedus]

^ Lost 401K playing black jack online.

[IronSulfide]

^ Counts cards.

[memory]

^once robbed a casino... successfully.

[IronSulfide]

^ is disturbingly well informed about my past activities.

[gracious]

^ Walked away with only CAD $10 after non-resident withholding taxes were deducted.

[IronSulfide]

^ Works for the IRS.

[memory]

^Has a file on hand that has the true identities of everyone on this forum.

[Bobsama]

Has her own hand on file.

[venuspop]

^ loves cat juice ;)

[Bobsama]

^^Bone marrow shake enthusiast.

[Distance]

Is secretly advertising his patented product, Kitten Puree on INTJf. Has a latenight infommercial that also sells his product for 10 easy payments of $9.99, where you too can become cute since we are what we eat.

[venuspop]

^ is planning to steal that idea.

[Bobsama]

^Has long since stolen my idea but avoided patent litigation by substituting dogs. However, people don't become cute; they get stupid (evidenced by the amount of drool).

[venuspop]

^ drools.

[memory]

^Has eye-goop issues.

[Bobsama]

Exhibitionist.

[IronSulfide]

^ has taken search for an ultra-high protein smoothie much too far.

[UnrulyR3d]

^ does not believe in eating one's pets.

[Winklepicker]

^makes wigs out of spinach

[gracious]

^ Is Popeye and wants his spinach back.

[Fyrnae]

^ can pop her eyes out and back in again.

[IronSulfide]

^ has a peg leg.

[gracious]

^ bionic colon.

[mainah]

^ webbed feet.

[IronSulfide]

^ can contort into 3 x 3 x 3 ft cube.

[gracious]

^ Failed opera singer.

I didn't mean that for you, but it's actually even funnier so I'm leaving it.

[Fyrnae]

Having had enough of life in the air, ^ attempts to return to the primal waters.

[Bobsama]

Is currently only wearing a leather collar and wrist and ankle irons.

[mainah]

^ Sold the leather collar, wrist, and ankle irons.

[venuspop]

^ detained by the man in white.

[Fyrnae]

^ bought the collar from ^^^ on ebay and is wearing it now under that bandana. Refuses to say what she did with the irons.

[venuspop]

^ took the irons.

[IronSulfide]

^ keeps bullwhip in dresser drawer.

[venuspop]

^ sings off-key in the shower.

[Fyrnae]

^ has been stopping over with ^^; that's how she knows.

[venuspop]

^ knows too much

~~~ *brewing an evil plan* ~~~ muahahahaha

[Fyrnae]

^ cannot make tea properly.

[Bobsama]

Has no lips.

[memory]

^Had to get lip-reduction surgery.

[gracious]

^ Collects the discarded tissue from such procedures in order to someday build a third breast.

[IronSulfide]

^ Watched Total Recall twice last month.

[gracious]

^ Gets me. The poor bastard.

[mainah]

^ Is a dog whisperer

[IronSulfide]

^ Writes obscene text messages to horses.

[TheLastDragon]

^ Is really The Stig.

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[memory]

^high school job: stormtrooper.

[Bobsama]

^High school job: Jabba the Hut.

[memory]

^Used to beg Jabba the Hut for a high school job...

[gracious]

^ Likes to wear the Princess Leia hair buns and gold bikini when she's alone.

[IronSulfide]

^ has a collectible Emperor Palpatine robe in closet.

[gracious]

^ Had respiratory system surgically altered in order to breathe like Darth Vader.

[IronSulfide]

^ Tried out for the role of Queen Amidala.

[gracious]

^ The guy who liked Jar Jar Binks.

[IronSulfide]

^ Cheered when Queen Amidala died.

[gracious]

^ Enjoyed when George Lucas photoshopped out Brando and replaced him with Christensen in ROTJ.

[IronSulfide]

^ Secretly masterminded the post-1977 demise of Mark Hamill's career.

[gracious]

^ Secretly masterminded the meeting of Harrison Ford and Calista Flockhart.

[IronSulfide]

^ served several futile years as Calista's nutritionist.

[gracious]

^ Joined the Ally McBeal fan club.

[IronSulfide]

^ Wept for days when Ally McBeal was cancelled.

[gracious]

^ Still follows her on "Brothers and Sisters".

[IronSulfide]

^ Spends night after night parked outside her house with a pair of binoculars.

[ness2361]

^ Called the police on me for being parked outside his house with butterfly net.

[Winklepicker]

^Masquerades around the preschool front lawn every Monday with GMO protest signs

[mainah]

^ The town sot.

[Bobsama]

The town bicycle.

[thebrainpolice]

Drinks protein shakes made out of cat meat.

[UnrulyR3d]

^ really just a brain with a badge.

[Bobsama]

Is actually a stereotypical blonde.

[DoubleEntendre]

^ Refuses to get out of a tree because a squirrel owes him.

[Bobsama]

Is REALLY statuesque. And by statuesque, I mean actually a statue.

[UnrulyR3d]

Is really wam and fuzzy and by warm and fuzzy I mean likes to puree kittens

[Bobsama]

Partakes in the consummation of pureed cats.

[DoubleEntendre]

^ Is really a dog person

[Bobsama]

Must not tell lies. :irked:

[GettingBetter]

^is one of those fairies that zaps people, which causes them to start telling the complete and unfiltered truth.

[IronSulfide]

^ tried to spear my pet squid, the monster!

[UnrulyR3d]

^eats large quantities of calamari.

[IronSulfide]

^ found Nemo on dinner plate.

[UnrulyR3d]

^ does not care for Dori.

[Bobsama]

Has a 3-second attention span.

[IronSulfide]

^ Spent 8 minutes concocting that rumour.

[ness2361]

^ Only has eight more minutes to live.

[Bobsama]

Died 8 minutes ago.

[gracious]

^Popular amongst the ranks of the ousted dictators of the Middle East.

[Bobsama]

Former dictator of one small town.

[thebrainpolice]

Was a huge Nixon supporter.

[Winklepicker]

^bites his soup and sips his chicken

[Bobsama]

^^Doesn't realize that Nixon was decades before my time.

^Can't swim through land.

[UnrulyR3d]

^ can't get out of blender.

[Bobsama]

Drinks blue curacao.

[UnrulyR3d]

^ prefers green anise and fennel

[Bobsama]

Pure carnivore

[UnrulyR3d]

^knows more about me than one ought.

[Bobsama]

Prefers money to love.

[UnrulyR3d]

*gasp* lies without blinking.

[Bobsama]

Keeps her eyes taped shut. Telepath.

[Sprelious]

Actually loves cats

[ness2361]

^ is likable, and has kill-me avitar, as in kill me now... well, Sprelious, you know why :-D

[Bobsama]

Wants to kill him... all night long!

[UnrulyR3d]

^ still can't scratch that itch.

[Bobsama]

Has an itch that needs to be scratched

[SouloftheLaurel]

Is secretly Obama

[Bobsama]

Is really Newt Gingrich.

[UnrulyR3d]

^ no seriously, is just a kitty cat stuck in a blender. poor thing.

[Bobsama]

Envious of Wendi Murdoch.

[UnrulyR3d]

Envious of Rupport Mudoch.

[Bobsama]

Flighty

[UnrulyR3d]

Trapped

[Bobsama]

Trappable

[UnrulyR3d]

overly confident

[Bobsama]

Overtly timid.

[IronSulfide]

^ engages in covert operations against Oprah Winfrey.

[UnrulyR3d]

^ was there to take photos and report back.

[IronSulfide]

^ afraid of pigeons.

[Bobsama]

Afraid of vultures

[IronSulfide]

^ a card-carrying member of the Zac Efron fan club.

[thebrainpolice]

^Has Bees Gees posters plastered all over his/her room.

[Bobsama]

Has a tattoo of Nixon's signature on his forehead.

[gracious]

Has a tatoo of Nixon's face on his left testicle.

[Bobsama]

Has a tattoo of t.A.T.u. across her chest.

[gracious]

Got his degree in advanced Circus Performing from t.A.T.university.

[IronSulfide]

^ has Jesus bobblehead in car.

[gracious]

Hears Jesus speak to him in his car.

[IronSulfide]

^ is planning to crucify me. Jesus told me so.

[gracious]

^ fortunately, that's his kink.

[IronSulfide]

^ is happy to oblige.

[gracious]

^ Will pay me anyway.

[IronSulfide]

^ That's her primary source of income.

[gracious]

^ Windshield squeegeeing is primary source of income.

[IronSulfide]

^ Tries to kill squeegee kids by throwing quarters into oncoming traffic.

[gracious]

^ Tries to peel the quarters thinking they are chocolate coins.

[IronSulfide]

^ Will only eat chocolate served in coin form.

[gracious]

^ Has a nut allergy, but regularly tempts fate by eating chocolate that "may contain" nut traces.

[thebrainpolice]

^ Is an animal hoarder.

[gracious]

^ Steals kibble from my herd.

[GettingBetter]

^steals food from starving children

^ has Jesus bobblehead in car.

^ Tries to kill squeegee kids by throwing quarters into oncoming traffic.


IS, you're extra funny today.

[thebrainpolice]

^ Is desperate to get in bed with IronSulfide.

[GettingBetter]

^is desperate to get in bed with Agnew. still.

[thebrainpolice]

^ Is psychic. How did you know!

[Distance]

gettingbetter - is getting worse from inhalation of chemical substances.

[Winklepicker]

^rubs silver dollars on her dog's back for good luck -- dog has a bald patch with healing granulation tissue at this site.

[gracious]

^ has carpal tunnel syndrome from rubbing junk for good luck.

[thebrainpolice]

^ Likes going on panty raids.

[UnrulyR3d]

^ wait isn't that how you actually feel? Tell the truth.

[Bobsama]

Likes grape.

[UnrulyR3d]

^ you would think that the special ingredient in the protein shake was cute little kitties, but no. It's grapes.

[Bobsama]

Hates screwdrivers.

[Distance]

Hero = Carmen Miranda

[Bobsama]

Shoots heroin.

[Fyrnae]

^ shoots one off whenever he gets banned.

[Bobsama]

Prefers bondage to ban-age.

[Fyrnae]

^ can't sleep without his gimp suit on

[Bobsama]

Sleeps curled up at the foot of her bed.

[IronSulfide]

^ is actually Alf.

[venuspop]

^ went skinny dippin'.

[UnrulyR3d]

^wants to go skinny dipping but can't untie her pink scarf.

[gracious]

^ Apparently prefers to swim fully clothed in her prom dress.

[TheLastDragon]

^ Is actually quite ungracious.

[gracious]

Is actually not a dragon, last or otherwise.

[thebrainpolice]

Snatches live fish with her mouth and swallows them.

[ness2361]

^ snatches dead fish from ^^ before he can get them in his mouth, and mounts them on his wood-paneled trophy wall.

[Sprelious]

^ doesn't eat fish, but buys it anyway to let it rot and keep people away.

[thebrainpolice]

Loves the smell of dead fish.

[Sprelious]

^ something fishy about those missing 18 minutes

[thebrainpolice]

^ Secretly a huge Nixon fan.

[Sprelious]

^Loves the smell of Napalm in the morning