Let's Spread Rumors

[envirodude]

^ never did quite get Newton's method for calculating square roots

[Fyrnae]

^ roots of his hair are square. Mutant.

[Dusk]

Fyrnae was at the heart of the terrible star trek figurine conspiracy.

[TypeINTP]

^ was there peeping from behind the curtain.

[WoodsWoman]

^thinks 'peeping tom' has something to do with chickens.

[Fyrnae]

^ has chickens on the brain due to feeling guilty about being caught last night raiding a neighbour's henhouse.

[lamplighter]

^Picked the lock to the door to make it easier for WW.

[Fyrnae]

^ held the torch so I could pick the lock

[lamplighter]

^Black mailed me into doing it.

[Fyrnae]

^ has some interesting photos ofR(*&)(&*)*+(+(}screeeeeeeeeeee NO CARRIER

[Wry Satyr]

[What the heck was that, Fyrnae???)

^is prone to speaking and writing gibberish.

[GettingBetter]

^has trouble remembering dial-up modems.

[reiven]

^ spent three years in federal prison for extortion.

she still swears she was framed.

[Wry Satyr]

^Has framed portraits of all of his homicide victims (post-mortem) throughout his house.

[GenessorDios]

^ loves to brag to anyone who will listen about his 11" penis.

He fails to mention, however, that he's using binary.

[lamplighter]

^ 01001111 01101110 01101100 01111001 00100000 01101011 01101110 01101111 01110111 01110011 00100000 01100101 01101110 01101111 01110101 01100111 01101000 00100000 01100010 01101001 01101110 01100001 01110010 01111001 00100000 01110100 01101111 00100000 01100001 01110011 01101011 00100000 01110111 01101000 01100101 01110010 01100101 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 00100000 01100010 01100001 01110100 01101000 01110010 01101111 01101111 01101101 00100000 01101001 01110011

[GenessorDios]

^ is such a liar, those lamps were already lit when he got there!

[reiven]

^ makes home made cat-gut strings for his fiddle.

and he fiddles every fucking night.

[envirodude]

^accompanies GD on banjo

[reiven]

^ uses spray-on tan to darken his glasses when he goes outside, then wipes them clear when he comes in again.

[datagirl]

^Walmart greeter

[Wry Satyr]

^newspaper hawker

[Eye on Earth]

^ Church deacon.

[Wry Satyr]

^upper-middle class wannabe.

[datagirl]

^'s McMansion is underwater

[envirodude]

^ just returned from a month relaxing on a tropical beach. Screamed the whole fucking time...

[Fyrnae]

...due to ^ coating the inside of her swimming costume with chili powder. Meanie.

[datagirl]

^circlet receives extraterrestrial signals - this explains why Fyrn always faces due north.

[Fyrnae]

^ monitors the computers that correlate the data from the signals

[datagirl]

hey Fyrn, your signal is fading in and out. Could you look up about 30° and just a hair to the left?

[Fyrnae]

^ thinks she is my C & C.

[lamplighter]

^wish she wore a size D & D.

[Fyrnae]

I don't have to wish for something I already possess.

^ wishes he could confirm the existence of said D cups.

[reiven]

^ said of churchills 'finest hour' speech, "meh, it was okay..."

[Eye on Earth]

^ Announced at the signing of the Declaration of Independence that he was going out for coffee and never got to sign the document.

[reiven]

^ has waaaay too much fun with mascara

[GenessorDios]

^ teaches his students that Mongolia broke the Fourth Wall of China and thus began a whole new era in the field of performance arts. Apparently they invaded the country mounted on projectors, wielding director's chairs and hurling film reels. They even outsourced their catering to mercenaries, just to save the hassle.

On a completely unrelated note, ^'s stash of LSD is dangerously low; does anyone have a source?

[Cooper]

is a recycled Pinto gas tank....so I hear

[Eye on Earth]

^ Often forgets to wear pants.

[GettingBetter]

Often forgets to wear clothes

[discontinuous]

Holds formal dinner parties for his cat, along with its highly acclaimed imaginary friends.
I was once invited: they speak in cat and will not be interrupted.

[GenessorDios]

If caring about other people's opinions were children, ^ would be the biggest pedophile around.

Oh wait, he already is? Damn, anyone got a better analogy?

[lamplighter]

You mean like that time you went around stealing puppies to sell to labs for experiments?

[Steel]

^ used to drive a golf cart each morning to go raking the sand traps.... and near the fifth hole ^ would hit the flower bed at full speed, flattening the stems.

[GenessorDios]

^'s goal is to outfit the entire world with CCTV cameras and produce the ultimate reality show, Life.

[Wry Satyr]

^is so distraught by questioning life that he purposely avoids oiling his gears and joints in order to develop a greater appreciation for the passage of time and thereby give himself a sense of mortality.

[discontinuous]

^ thinks staring off the edge of a building with his tongue out provides him with sensory enlightenment.

[SouloftheLaurel]

^

Is secretly functional

[discontinuous]

^ Likes to stare down various types of ethernet plugs and fiber-optic cables, thinking she can see people at the other end.

[TypeINTP]

^likes to sit down bare ass on a block of ice while smoking a joint and reading DC comics.

[lamplighter]

^Sold them that bag of pot.

[discontinuous]

^ Is a snitch.

[WoodsWoman]

^has a collection of cat's tails from cats that are all still living.

[envirodude]

^still loves her Tiger despite his subpar performance of late

[Fyrnae]

^ plans to shrink himself to fit into that rocket.

[envirodude]

Is coveting that rocket with, um, other plans for it ;)

[Fyrnae]

^ thinks I haven't got my own toys to play with.

[Eye on Earth]

^ Always records every play activity.

[GenessorDios]

Not content simply with being a cannibal, ^ likes to expand his eating habits into other facets of his life. That's why he cut a giant hole across his victim's stomach, stuck half his head inside and wore the poor guy, still living, as a hat.

[reiven]

when ^ was in the Royal Canadian Air Force, he kept a goldfish in his flack jacket. it eventually died of leather poisoning.

[GenessorDios]

An experiment to test the human body for the effects of ultrahigh speed rotation turned ^ into a biplegic with quadripolar disorder.

[reiven]

^ has an inordinate fear of jelly. although jelly makes us all uncomfortable, GD takes it to hysterical excess.

[GenessorDios]

Constant maniacal laughter aside, ^ is an excellent funeral attendee.

[reiven]

to subsidize his college expenses, ^ allowed advertisers to post handbills on his center row of teeth.

[Eye on Earth]

^ Can afford to buy extra bling because he allows advertsiers to post handbills on his butt.

[GenessorDios]

^ once designed a tall, mechanical beast out of Legos. It could walk and everything. Unfortunately, his gearaffe developed sentience and ran away. Then it developed sentences and started teaching. Then it developed irrationality and started preaching. Then it developed emotionality and started crying. Then it developed dishonesty and started lying.

[envirodude]

Then it developed penis envy and GD started.

[GenessorDios]

After ^'s transgender operation, his penis envy turned into vaginal apathy.

[discontinuous]

^ Lost his job to a 133MHz Cyrix with 16MB of RAM and a 512MB harddrive, last week.

[GenessorDios]

^ couldn't hold it in once, so he peed in his friend's 'pool. His friend noticed though when he saw the wet car seat. The other passengers were mortified.

[envirodude]

^ hasn't gotten any lovin' since he lost the opposable thumb

[GenessorDios]

^'s dream to invite a rival church into his own and have a preach-off was squashed when he was unable to rent the equipment necessary for the dueling organs performance.

[Wry Satyr]

^uses dueling organs in place of cock fights.

[Eye on Earth]

Eating chicken has an entirely different meaning for ^.

[TypeINTP]

Probably the same meaning for ^ when he eats bananas.

[discontinuous]

^ Licks kiwis.

[TypeINTP]

^ Licks Koalas (the poor things) ...

[discontinuous]

^ Got arrested three times for trying to sit in a kangaroo's pouch.

[TypeINTP]

It took 4 security guards and 5 hours to pull ^ out of a horse (Same zoo!)

[discontinuous]

It took 4 medics, ice and tranquilizer to pull a horse out of ^

[TypeINTP]

^ was watching the process undergoing & not focusing on the silverback that was about to creampie the crap outta him !

[reiven]

^ lost one eye in a freak hairspike incident

[GenessorDios]

^ couldn't decide whether to make his movie about recently-departed cars or recently-departed homosexuals, so he decided to do both. Look out for GhostBoxsters v Ghostbuttsters coming to a cinema near you!

[Wry Satyr]

^decided to make his movie about a gay robot who is infatuated with a dog. Look for: Lost in Spuds.

[lamplighter]

^Co-stars as the dog.

[Fyrnae]

^ financed the production

[lamplighter]

^Art Director

[TypeINTP]

^ Lighting specialist.

[reiven]

the only way ^ found his way home after school was a trained dog names simpus. simpus had a cameo in the movie snowdogs.
^ never knew what was going on, he just liked to walk beside the dog. simpus belonged to a neighbor.

[GenessorDios]

^ has spent many a day trying to get his pet fly to mate with its larva. It looks like he won't give up until he fulfills his insecstuous fantasy.

[reiven]

^has lucid dreams of being asleep

[Wry Satyr]

has lucid dreams of being a sheep and sheepish dreams of being Lucy.

[GenessorDios]

A homosexual man once ran up to ^ at a party, smacked him in the face and yelled There's your fruit punch, bitch! before running off into the night.

[Wry Satyr]

^was that homosexual man.

[GenessorDios]

After visiting a curious museum which claimed to house a magnificent turd supposedly left by god himself, ^ was disappointed and muttered disgustedly, That was some wholly shit holy shit.

[Wry Satyr]

^pilfered said wholly shit holy shit to furtilize his yard in hopes of creating a second Garden of Eden.

[GenessorDios]

Whenever his neighborhood's cat supply runs low, ^ has to move somewhere else and restart his furtilizer business.

[Wry Satyr]

likes collecting crap to support his terrorist activities.

[GenessorDios]

Though ^ was sent to fell trees in many different countries, he never stopped using his original tools. Can you tell where this is headed, folks? He was an expatriate axe patriot, alright? Fuck it, I'm done.

[Wry Satyr]

^was an anal probe for several alien species. Loved his work until he was made obsolete by CAT scans alien style.

[reiven]

^ had a crush on his high school english teacher. the guy was married with two adopted asian kids. it was awkward.

[Eye on Earth]

^Was one of the adopted kids. The phrase, "Daddy is home," brings fear to his heart.

[Wry Satyr]

^Was that daddy, after the sex change was complete.

[Fyrnae]

^ was the mum.

(all too easy)

[Gerard91]

^ Was the son who has been taken to a family of lapaneese people who didn't eat at all and drink only coffee and vodka (mixed together)

[reiven]

^'s friends made fun of him when he was a chick because the bottom of his bill hooked over the top. there are still rumors that his dad was a pelican.

he asked the artist to take creative liberty with his av.

[Eye on Earth]

The artist took creative liberty with yours and look what happened.

[Cooper]

loves his hat...

[Winter Sun]

^ loves his hat...

[Fyrnae]

^ hates his axe.

[Winter Sun]

^ is lying.

[reiven]

^ thinks mackie is a hateful board and wouldn't run one for money.

[digger]

Reiven is some obscure Jedi master incognito

[Winter Sun]

^ likes to prance around in a Jedi outfit 3 times a week, desperately trying to move things with "the force"

[Artio]

^ sees Yoda whenever he looks in a mirror.

[Winter Sun]

^ has a secret crush on an Ewok

[Gerard91]

^ He thinks about playing a guitar song to Ewo, but he can't play a guitar while he's a guitar...

[datagirl]

^thinks that the Eagle Forum is dedicated to wildlife preservation

[reiven]

^ phyllis schlafly's daughter

[SuperSmart101]

^Dreams about Donald Trump being his father, Phyllis Schlafly his mother, and him the hated but taken care of son.

[reiven]

^ was determined to demonstrate his keen sense of satire by choosing just the right username.

[Winter Sun]

^ melted down his "preciousss" into the necklace he's wearing and thinks no one will recognize him if he wears a hat.

[GenessorDios]

The attempt by ^ and a few colleagues to inject absurdist humor into their science classes didn't go over very well. By all accounts, Monty Photon was a resounding failure.

[Eye on Earth]

Keeps having these dreams about getting it on with trash cans and then wakes up and smells garbage.

[Cooper]

Thinks he is a goat.

[Gerard91]

^ He poses all the time so he's always ready for a snapshot.

[GenessorDios]

^ has a habit of going into nightclubs, going up to the DJ and asking How can you tell when your records are itchy?

[Winter Sun]

^ is happy that the humans are dead. He used poisonous gases. And he poisoned their asses. The humans are dead. Yes they look like their dead. I'll just confirm that their dead. Affirmative, I poked one, it was dead.

[Cooper]

obviously has sundowners....

[Winter Sun]

^ obviously loves The Flight of the Conchords (To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 15 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.)

[Eye on Earth]

^ is dating a robot.

[WoodsWoman]

^cannot comprehend the value of being human.

[Eye on Earth]

^ Doesn't recognize I'm an alien prototype.

[jonnyb]

^Frohawks his belly hair whilst in Werewolf mode.

[GenessorDios]

^ has entertained pleasantly generic legionaries in Malaysia's fallacious salacious glacial spatial palatial Dagobah Lego Bacardi parties.

[Fyrnae]

^ is clearly on drugs

[datagirl]

^prepared for deer crossing

[Gerard91]

^ is screaming because the cake is gone

[datagirl]

^likes to hump tourists

[Fyrnae]

^ procures them for ^^.

[Eye on Earth]

^ Is totally ready for rutting season.

[Fyrnae]

^ has never been ready.

[Eye on Earth]

^ Is ready to ride on the short bus.

[Fyrnae]

^ knows the route the short bus takes by heart, he's been on the thing so many years now.

[Eye on Earth]

*bangs head on window*

^ is really the bus driver.

[Winter Sun]

^ is making a film called "When Koalas Attack"

[jonnyb]

^Practicing his aim with the water hose for fireman tryouts.

[Cooper]

can't find his water hose

[Winter Sun]

^ stole ^^'s water hose and is holding in his sinister hand, whilst looking sinister.

[GenessorDios]

^ is actually a strong J, but his J is a strong F and was easily cowed into lowercaseness by the brutish clique of INT just so it would be liked.

[Gerard91]

^ has three lines of teeth.

[GenessorDios]

Holy mother of god, if ^ isn't the best rumormonger alive, I'm a drowning turtle.

[reiven]

^ sings into a hairbrush to donna summers songs

[GenessorDios]

Never one to be outdone, ^ brought a flamethrower to a housewarming party.

[reiven]

^ spent almost 4 hours in a wheelchair at the mall scamming donations to muscular dystrophy.

[datagirl]

rei often escapes from the nursing home to buy cigs at Walmart. he also likes to ride the coin operated horse in front of the store while singing "Cowboy Man".

[jonnyb]

^spent some time with her mouth wired shut and now refuses to shut it to avoid living through the painful feelings again.

[datagirl]

jonnyb sells Mary Kay - his business is becoming so profitable that he may buy a pink pickup truck and go full-time.

[Winter Sun]

^ is trying out for American Idol

[GenessorDios]

All of ^'s ex-girlfriends say he loves stomping on people's hearts, but what they don't know is that his heart is located underneath his left foot and he merely craves symmetry.

[reiven]

^ was sent by his agent to film a benson and hedges commercial back in the day. they did not use him, but he got to keep a copy of the tape.

[GenessorDios]

^ thinks debonair is slang for French erections.

[reiven]

^ thought french military victories was a college history class.
(it turned out to be a creative writing course)

[GenessorDios]

Try as he might, ^ was only ever able to attain the level of novicebater.

[datagirl]

GD proudly displays his "Master Baiter" trophy from the annual trout rodeo

[GenessorDios]

^ is still laughing at a joke told to her fifty years ago.

[Eye on Earth]

^ is the trophy.

[reiven]

^ believes in the native american philosophy that camera images steal ones soul.

[GenessorDios]

^'s rating system for books is the duration by which an average pooping session is extended when reading them.

[Winter Sun]

^ wishes he could poop.

[GenessorDios]

^ is such a cheapskate, he leaves an empty can of bug spray in his house and hopes the roaches will be like Whoa, don't go there, that guy's packing!

[jonnyb]

^Is still pissed off that his younger cousin got used as a target atop a fence pole years ago.

[Winter Sun]

^ loves the feel of pleather against his inner thigh.

[Cooper]

I heard that Winter Sun pees on the neighbors flowers....

[Fyrnae]

^ picks them and leaves one with each successive victim.

[Gerard91]

^ posts signs saying "dangerous deers"

[Fyrnae]

^ is an ingrate. He won't thank anyone for the fish.

[Eye on Earth]

^ is really a jackalope.

[Fyrnae]

^ promised he wouldn't tell. Oh, the betrayal!

[Eye on Earth]

^ Once ran a marathon in her underwear.

[Gerard91]

^ thinks we still have winter

[XFire35]

^ Is into bestiality.

[Gerard91]

^ Is totally greenhorn (or maybe green leaf?).

[Fyrnae]

^ shags everything in sight given the opportunity

[reiven]

^stole her av from a montana truckers mudflap

[datagirl]

^member of the Montana Truckers Association (currently serving as co-chair of the Road Rage committee)

[Gerard91]

^ will never stop screaming

[datagirl]

^Gerard91 is a very rare vintage due to a drought that affected large parts of central France that year. The wine is highly sought after by collectors and commands a respectable price at auction. In order to confirm the authenticity of the bottle, look for a small dolphin stamped on the label.

[MortalWombat]

Datagirl picks her nose.

[Fyrnae]

^ eats what datagirl picks. I hear it's a delicacy where ^ comes from.

[NixonKneivel]

uses her driving license picture as her avatar

[Fyrnae]

I can't repeat what I heard ^ does in his cave.

[NixonKneivel]

you can do better than that, Anteloper!

For instance, those aren't antlers, those are the results of 30 years of British public health dentistry!

[Fyrnae]

^ is actually moulded from plastic like so many other Californians I've come across.

[Eye on Earth]

^ Knows what to do with plastic toys.

[jonnyb]

^ Is happy seeing the value of silver skyrocket as there will be less people wasting the precious metal making bullets with it.

[Gerard91]

^ feels at his natural state while lying in a coffin and drinking beer.

[Fyrnae]

^ thinks this is the 'truth' thread.

[Eye on Earth]

^ Made Kate's hat and is too embarrassed to tell anyone.

[38321244]

^ is 65 years old and weighs 450 lbs

[jonnyb]

^Uses her middle school gym locker combination for her user name.

[Fyrnae]

^ never left middle school

[GenessorDios]

After getting frustrated at one too many losses back in '53, ^ set up an annual age competition and has been the champion every year since.

[Gerard91]

haha :)

^ likes horses much more than he should...

[jonnyb]

^stands outside public restrooms to hear the patrons tinkle in the water.

[Fyrnae]

^has not removed his leather trousers in so long, they could stand up by themselves.

[Gerard91]

^ avatar shows her horizontal section :P

[MortalWombat]

^ porpoise with a purpose

[GenessorDios]

Whale I'll be, ^ isn't lion fur once.

[jonnyb]

^ has been continually torn between wanting to be a container for strong spirits or a dedicated porno video tape player. He just wants somewhere to put his xxxx.

[GenessorDios]

^'s quest for a perfect skeletal structure culminated in his invention of the latest plastic surgery fad, Bonetox.

[jonnyb]

^ spends thousands annually in target marketing to young women trying to convince them that his twig and berries are really a toggle switch and tuning knobs of a futuristic radio.

[Eye on Earth]

^ Is busy painting his aluminum bullets silver in anticipation of the next full moon.

[jonnyb]

^Will still react the same way to my silver painted aluminum bullets....kind of the same concept as the placebo effect.

[Eye on Earth]

^ Will still get bit.

[Artio]

^ Owes me several cans of tuna.

[jonnyb]

^^ will soon find out that I supplement my diet with a steady ingestion of colloidal silver, almost to the point that my skin has a tinge of blue to it.

^Likes the tuna containing extra dolphin.

[Eye on Earth]

^ Wants to be in the Blue Man Group.

[GenessorDios]

^ was an unfortunate victim of the only known case of buttrape. Thanks to police efforts, the butt is now safely behind bars, where it is undoubtedly buttraping other unsuspecting inmates.

Let that be a lesson to you, kids. If you ever see a mean-looking butt hurtling towards you, don't turn and run, kick that butt in the ass. Running away only increases its appetite.

If you're the butt and you're reading this from prison, learn from your mistakes. Yes, farting will propel you more quickly towards your rapee but the smell means there's a higher chance they'll be alerted to your presence than if you had just wafted along on gentle breezes. Take my advice, buy some fake nipples and people will invite you into their home.

You know what, I shouldn't give too many of your secrets away. PM me, butt. We'll talk.

[GettingBetter]

*finally stopped laughing*

^ is writing this from prison, because he is in fact, the one and only buttraper.

[datagirl]

^always stands with his back against the wall

[reiven]

^'s av.
proof there is a buttraper

[Eye on Earth]

^ Proof of what happens after the buttraper gets you.

It's ok. You can stop shaking now reiven.

[jonnyb]

^Is at a loss at what to do on the coming night of the New Moon. Might even turn into a house cat.

[GenessorDios]

^'s overexposure to marketing caused him to assume Leviathan was a monster of denim origins.

[jonnyb]

^Likes to think he's sexy by leaving a few rivets undone on his outerwear.

[GrnEyz]

peed in his leather pants and nobody noticed.

[GenessorDios]

The clerk was sniggering but it was true, ^ really did get that vibrating dildo because his asshole was itchy.

[reiven]

this song (To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 15 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.) makes ^ cry

[GenessorDios]

^ is one of the Ponymen of the Apocalypse, Light Showers.

[reiven]

^donated his left patella to the kids without kneecaps TV marathon

[GenessorDios]

^'s first french kiss was with an ice cream treat. For years, he thought that act was called cone-ilingus.

[jonnyb]

The irony of it all is ^ can't figure out the robot dance moves.

[discontinuous]

^ Falls asleep first at parties so he can later go around molesting everyone in the early morning.

[jonnyb]

^Likes to be the first one molested in the early mornings, requests to be first.

[Fyrnae]

^ likes the sloppy seconds.

[datagirl]

^uses pedo-files to trim cat's claws

[Cooper]

^ counts on her fingers and toes...

[datagirl]

the extra finger on ^'s left hand made it difficult for him to understand base10 arithmetic

[discontinuous]

^ Somehow uses her vag to keep track of the modulus during long division.

[datagirl]

** it's the Kegels! **

^collects Japanese math porn

[gestalt]

^ is in fact...To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 15 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

[datagirl]

^writes Mac viruses in his spare time

[Alanas]

Is cool when is sleeping

[datagirl]

^rare birth defect in which pinkie finger is conjoined to his jaw. Alanas hides his deformity by feigning a constant state of thoughtfulness.

[Gerard91]

^ thinks shes trend-setter because shes wearing a silver cap a la Lady Gaga

[BellaBianca]

^Ate the dolphin from his old avatar.

[Gerard91]

^ eats Swedish pigeons meat balls for dinner . Always.

[jonnyb]

^ Is continually envious of his garage door trip sensor cousin.

[datagirl]

^recently embraced chicken liberation as his new cause célèbre