"So, what you're saying is, you're an a$$h--e"

[sw7104]

Apologies for the language, but that's an exact quote from my minister, after I told him that I was an INTJ, and that INTJs are known to be (as I am) "comfortable with conflict". His quick, but humorously delivered reply was: ""So, what you're saying is, you're an a$$h--e".

My wife thankfully doesn't think so, but I was nicknamed "Captain Victory" by my manager, after the direct way that I confronted clients when they attempted to go down a path that I knew with "lead pipe cinch" certainty would lead them into trouble (and I was almost always right....).

So, are INTJs often perceived this way? I think so.... But I have worked very hard to shake the Capt. V nickname, and have thus far succeeded.

[GOD]

Apologies for the language, but that's an exact quote from my minister, after I told him that I was an INTJ, and that INTJs are known to be (as I am) "comfortable with conflict". His quick, but humorously delivered reply was: ""So, what you're saying is, you're an a$$h--e".

He's a idiot. Hopefully you informed him of the fact and told him that "enjoying conflict" was actually beating the living daylights out of ministers.

[Tarrick]

If, by definition an a-hole is someone that doesn't bend over under pressure, then I guess. :rolleyes:

[sw7104]

No, he really is not. He is razor sharp and he and I have that kind of relationship where we can say these kinds of things to each other. Afterall, how many ministers can you go to and say "I exist on the boundary of unbelief" and the minister doesn't fall back on cliches and "prayerful God Talk" but instead takes you seriously. Anyway, I also think there is maybe more than 10% of truth in his comment, and that's my real point....

[snoogit]

I suppose our non emotional demeanor, and logical response to all matters could lead others to think we're arseholes if we don't agree with them. I've been called an ass many times!

I've gotten over getting all worked up over being called a name, and if someone thinks I'm an ass a lot of times I'll embrace the idea, and either A: they get over their complaint about me, and get to know me a little better or B: They stop talking to me. Either way its an acceptable win-win situation. It weeds out the people I probably wouldn't want to know anyway, and brings in the people who I know I can trust.

[Sagacious]

So ... what does your minister think that particular word means? You seem to be taking it as a vulgarity ... when I use the word, it usually is, but sometimes I truly do mean it as a compliment. (Me describing one person I work with: "he's an ******* to work with, but listen carefully because he's usually RIGHT.")

Is your minister saying this is a negative quality, or is he joking that many people would confuse you with somebody who takes perverse pleasure in being contrary?

[PhoenixRising]

While I don't think that most people who have had more than brief contact nomally consider INTJ's A-Holes, from my work experience Anal is a term that is almost my middle name :) (of course I do work in an industrial type environment so I don't necessarily take it as a negative usually). Often I think there is a certain amount of animosity though, more from many people's percieving being self sufficient / autonomous as being arrogant. Incidentally I wonder just now many INTJ's have managed to aquire nicknames due to some of the more dominant INTJ traits (in the past I've been referred to a "Spock" and "McGyver").

[mind_wander]

Well people had called me that before, but you know what. All this time spending to calling you names. Who is the true big @$$hole now?

[Solnath]

I at least prefer the term Asshat. Asshattery, much like Madhattery, is a matter of perspective and as such, I don't care what they think. I'm selfish and I like it, deal with it, kthxbai.

[INTJoe]

if someone thinks I'm an ass a lot of times I'll embrace the idea, and either A: they get over their complaint about me

that's what I don't get about the F's. I have to make my decisions to satisfy logic, not people. If a decision offends or hurts anybody's feelings...well, guess what? THey'll get over it!

Bad bad logic never "gets over it". People might get upset, but they're feelings will repair themselves. Logic is either right or wrong. THat is why I make my decisions based on logic, and not people's feelings. Feelings are adaptable. Logic is not.

I'm on my 8th drink right now 6 shiners and 2 captain morgan rums so I don't know if this makes sense but if not I'll edit in the morning.