Intj/Intj relationship

[J0llyroger101]

I am intj attracted to an intj women. Is there any way to tell if she has any feelings for me or is attrached to me?

[Deliberator]

Does she talk to you?
Does she have long conversations with you?
Does she laugh/smile at all?

If she didn't like you she probably wouldn't hang around. However, trying to find out whether she has a romantic interest in you versus a more friendy interest may be a bit harder with you both being INTJ's.

When I was single I would rather die than give any signal that I was romantically attracted to anyone. However, the one I related to the most, the one I talked to the longest, the one I opened up to became the man I married. Friendship unfolded intensely, and long before our romance developed.

[Zhen]

yup, what Deliberator said. Even if you look like a Calvin Klein model, if you can't engage the INTJ female's mind and share common interests...Give up now!

In terms of finding out whether interest is more than platonic...best bet...ask directly...otherwise men left to their own devices wondering...9/10 times...they're completely wrong!

Women are seriously complex creatures...don't mess with them!

[Airius]

If it's really important to you, ask and she should give you an honest answer.

[J0llyroger101]

we are at a college type campus. it is actually an internship. She does laugh at the things i say. and we do have good long conversations when we talk. We both like sports. ummm she talk about me to some over her friends that our girls and says i am awesome (i think) and has mentioned that she respects me. She engages me in conversation pretty frequently. But when we get around other people she won't talk with me and kind of don't engage me socially like she does with everyone else.





J0llyroger101 added to this post, 1 minutes and 41 seconds later...

a few times in passing she has smiled at me

[dandylion]

It sounds like she likes you. I think the reason she doesn't talk to you as much when other people are around is because she's just more drawn to them. edit: Don't take that personally. I kind of like a guy in one of my classes, and we run into other frequently, and I hardly look at him or even acknowledge he exists.

You should step it up a notch and invite her somewhere and do something you know you'll both enjoy. Since you guys both like sports, why not ask her to go to the park and play tennis some time?

[J0llyroger101]

i asked her to this "swing dance" thing and she said yes, and her face got red afterwards. she has also asked me to help with some of the mentoring she does





J0llyroger101 added to this post, 4 minutes and 12 seconds later...

since i am an intj guy and she is an INTJ girl, do you think she knows that i like her and am attracted to her?

[dandylion]

I think you should proceed with the romantic dates now.

She probably knows.

[sw7104]

It sounds like you've got this one solved, but I have to ask: why do you need to waste time & energy verifying **first** that she is interested in you, esp. when you can find out the easy way by simply asking her out?

The worst she can do is say No....and then its on the next girl...and then the next one....

[Jgib5328]

I'd be very upfront about it and ask her if she's interested. INTJs don't like small talk like others or the little coy romantic games, so be upfront, the worst that can happen is that she says no and at worst, you'd feel a little dumb for a week after that, but you'd get over it pretty quick.

[Kisai]

I am intj attracted to an intj women. Is there any way to tell if she has any feelings for me or is attrached to me?

Not without a pair of pliers...

[lancelot]

yup, what Deliberator said. Even if you look like a Calvin Klein model, if you can't engage the INTJ female's mind and share common interests...Give up now!

In terms of finding out whether interest is more than platonic...best bet...ask directly...otherwise men left to their own devices wondering...9/10 times...they're completely wrong!

Women are seriously complex creatures...don't mess with them!

Just curious, do you think attractive people have a harder time at true love?

[azelismia]

Define "true love"

[ProgFusionRoman]

Define "true love"

Whatever it is my wife and I feel we have it (she is sleeping now)





ProgFusionRoman added to this post, 1 minutes and 29 seconds later...

Does she talk to you?
Does she have long conversations with you?
Does she laugh/smile at all?

If she didn't like you she probably wouldn't hang around. However, trying to find out whether she has a romantic interest in you versus a more friendy interest may be a bit harder with you both being INTJ's.

When I was single I would rather die than give any signal that I was romantically attracted to anyone. However, the one I related to the most, the one I talked to the longest, the one I opened up to became the man I married. Friendship unfolded intensely, and long before our romance developed.

What type is your partner?

[lancelot]

Define "true love"

mmmmmmmm, I know when I'm in it!

True love, it's more powerful than sex or lust, people will refuse sex or lust, to get true love!

People who have true love, will wait and dream of their partner, they will set long range goals,and defer gratification in hopes of getting ture love!

[Tishy]

I am intj attracted to an intj women. Is there any way to tell if she has any feelings for me or is attrached to me?

... when she -doesn't- remove your head after sex.

Sorry - had to say that.

I'd repeat what the others have said - if she spends time with you and engages in discussions.

Catch her with your wit or let her go.

[Antares]

we are at a college type campus. it is actually an internship. She does laugh at the things i say. and we do have good long conversations when we talk. We both like sports. ummm she talk about me to some over her friends that our girls and says i am awesome (i think) and has mentioned that she respects me. She engages me in conversation pretty frequently. But when we get around other people she won't talk with me and kind of don't engage me socially like she does with everyone else.





J0llyroger101 added to this post, 1 minutes and 41 seconds later...

a few times in passing she has smiled at me

I wouldn't call that conclusive, but then with INTJs hardly any 'signals' can be conclusive, that's my opinion. I have platonic male friends that I do all the things mentioned above with. I wouldn't smile at someone I'm attracted to though (but I don't smile at a lot of people), and I don't try to engage them in a conversation.


i asked her to this "swing dance" thing and she said yes, and her face got red afterwards. she has also asked me to help with some of the mentoring she does





J0llyroger101 added to this post, 4 minutes and 12 seconds later...

since i am an intj guy and she is an INTJ girl, do you think she knows that i like her and am attracted to her?

I've blushed too before, but I wasn't attracted to those males.

[Fanowene]

Hm... For me there's also a difference between liking somebody and wanting a relationship with somebody. There's times when I like a guy and I can feel the chemistry, but I don't want a relationship for some reason (different religious beliefs, age difference, whatever...). But even if I don't want a relationship, I might fail to hide that I like am attracted to that person (from my perspective; my behavior might seem totally normal to others). I sometimes have a hard time holding back or keeping my hormones or whatever (feelings? oh please no!) under control. At least in the U.S. I run into the religious beliefs barrier a lot less than I did in Europe. :)

Somehow it's easier for me to hide my feelings if I know I want a relationship. Maybe because there's no internal struggle in that case? I refuse to show my feelings in "public". I might even shut you out even more if I liked you, unless I was sure that you liked me back. Then I probably would start opening up or at least stop being so protective of my "feelings".

If I see the guy I like very rarely, then I'd try to get some eye contact going to see if he is interested at all. However, that doesn't mean that I'm interested in you if I'm watching you. I might just be making sure you're staying out of the danger zone or I might just find you interesting/amusing/entertaining/weird (but not necessarily attractive).

I don't know how I'd react if I were asked out. I've only been asked out once, and that was by a good friend (but not a romantic interest, so it was a clear no for me). It's possible I'd blush. Or, if you asked me out in a way I found inappropriate, I might just get a little angry/annoyed. In general, I probably wouldn't know how to react and would just react in some random way, probably showing how insecure I feel (or, if I'm fed up with it in some way, I might just brush you off with some remark and walk away because I don't know how to deal with the situation).

If I do like a person and I am interested in seeing if a relationship could work out, then that person will probably be notified by me within a couple weeks (after I've done extensive research about him online and have reached a dead end). Normally through some kind of electronic message. I don't know if that's the best way to approach it, but that's the way I do it. So far I haven't fallen for anybody I've known very well or spent a lot of time with, so that may be an explanation for why I use electronic messages (text, email, or Facebook (private)). Although, somehow I'm beginning to think that I send those messages primarily in my weak moments, when I'm confused and want more data or I'm just fed up with all the guessing and thinking involved.

I wonder if anybody could truly see if I liked somebody based on my behavior. Probably not (unless, again, I was sending an unmistakable electronic message).





Fanowene added to this post, 3 minutes and 30 seconds later...

Oh yeah: So best advice for dealing with me, as stated by others: Just ask me. I'd probably prefer an email, though, so I have enough time to think. I don't like being confronted with situations I don't know how to handle. Unless, of course, we know each other well and it would be easy for me to express my decision to you in real time.

[Deliberator]

What type is your partner?

Difficult to figure but I think he is an INTP.

Before puberty he was an INTJ like me, very big planner and future-oriented.

However, when I met him he had been spending the last few years forcing himself to be very very extroverted. For a long time I thought he was an ENTP.

In any case, the NT is the most important part in my opinion.

Regarding attractiveness:
I don't think attractiveness necessarily makes it easier or harder; personality type and behavior is what matters most.