Your relationship with your mom vs. your dad

[josephine]

Who are you closer to (mom or dad) and why?
How do you think MBTI types affect your relationship with either parent?
If both parents aren't in your life, you can substitute the people who fill similar roles in your life.

I'm an INTJ.

I'm definitely closer to mom. She's and ISFX. We get along pretty well - she's good with helping me emotionally when I feel bad (quite rarely, actually) and we never fight. She's one of the most pleasant people to be around - she's easy going and rarely gets upset. I looked at compatibilities, and INTJ doesn't appear t be particularly compatible with either ISFJ or ISFP, so it's possible I'm not typing my mom right.

Dad is an EXTJ (with a well developed F). He can be quite pushy and is very judgmental, and a bit of a control freak. We argue often, to the point where at times I think he might not like me anymore and my feelings toward him have soured a bit. If he didn't like me, though, he'd never say it, and would continue to help me with everything (paying for college) because he thinks that's his duty as a parent. I admire him MUCH more than my mom - he has accomplished amazing things in life, whereas my mom isn't very ambitious. I want to have his many good qualities, but his few bad qualities are bad enough that being around him is difficult for me. We get along better when I'm away at college and we talk on the phone - he's very smart and very interesting to talk to, whereas my mom prefers small talk, which is more enjoyable in person. When we're in the same house, however, my dad is very extroverted and doesn't let me get any peace. I sometimes feel cornered and lash out.

Obviously, the MBTI may not account for all facets of someone's personality, but in general, how have your parents' type interacted with yours?

[Moondyn]

I never met my father, but I'd guess he was an INTP or ISTP based on how my Mom described him to me.

My Mom is an ESTJ, and we get along very well, she raised me alone for 8 years, then she moved to America (with me) and married my stepfather, who is an ISTP.

I suspect that I have some ESTJ qualities because of my Mom's influence in my life.

[dragonsscout]

My mom is an INFJ and my dad is an INTP. When I was younger, I would have definitely said that I had a better relationship with my mom, but as I've gotten older I would now say that it's about equal. The change is probably as combination of my mom getting a more emotional, me maturing, and my dad becoming more accessible about ten years ago when we moved closer to his job.

[athiah333]

I feel closer to my dad(INTP) than my mum(INFJ).
Mainly because we share more intrests etc. to talk about.

[Santana28]

my mom is probably ISFP, my dad is ENTJ.

Honestly, i've never had a relationship with either of them. When i was VERY young, my mother (who was a very young mother with a very troubled family background) smothered me... she treated me like a doll. Obviously, when it became clear i would rather wear combat fatigues and play with Transformers than wear frilly dresses and play with Barbie, the relationship became stressed. My father worked a job where he was away from home most of the time, up until i was 5 or 6. I vaguely remember him being nice to me, but generally he just ignored my existence (he felt my mother "trapped" him by having me). I was much more introverted than my parents wanted me to be, and often they would enroll me in activities and things in order to force me to be around other kids my age - I hated it, and I hated them for trying to force me to be something i wasn't. Eventually my father became extremely physically and mentally abusive to me - so I literally spent the remainder of my time in his house avoiding him. I would stay in my room until he went to bed, and then i was free to do what i wanted after that. My mom learned to ignore me, as i brushed off any attempts whatsoever at affection (she was very physically affectionate) or time together. We simply had nothing at all in common, whatsoever. In the later years my father was more concerned with making me learn the family business and forcing me to work it, than encouraging anything i had interest in. When i joined a vocational school for Architecture, he stepped in an changed my major to Mechanical Engineering (i managed to get it reversed). When i told him i wanted to go to college - he threw me out on the street.

So honestly - i never developed an emotional attachment to either parent. Most of it was directed towards my paternal grandparents, who i stayed with every weekend.

I get a lot of flak for "holding grudges" against them for my crappy childhood. But that is simply not the case. There never was a relationship, and I'm not about to go pretending there ever was one now that i'm grown and moved away. We talk once or twice a year, unemotionally. I don't feel sadness of my lack of relationships with either of them. Honestly, i don't like either one of them as a person so I'm not exactly excited about attempting to develop a relationship with them. They have their lives, and i have my own. When people ask me about my childhood - i tell them i am an only child, and i raised myself.

I am sure that if it weren't for my dad's MANY emotional and psychological issues, we would have been friends. We are very similar in personality, and we have similar interests and abilities. We could have made a great team - however he chose otherwise.

So that's that.

[SShack]

My relationship with my mother is horrible (this thread reminded me that she e-mailed me a couple of days ago and I haven't responded to her). She's ISFP, I believe, but in all the screwed up ways. Former drug addict, takes horrible care of herself, refuses to take responsibility for what she's done to herself, and tries to take advantage of everybody she comes in contact with. My dad (who divorced her when I was young and ended up raising my sister and me) and I avoid as much contact with her as we can. My sister, ESFJ, deals with her regularly (though she's not fond of her either) and fills us in on her latest stuff.

I think my dad is either INTJ or ISTJ. We get along great from a distance, but put us together in one place and we will argue about every single thing. I'm not exactly sure why I can more easily accept differences of opinions from others of his type, but not him. Must be a familial relationship thing. I would say my relationship with him is (obviously) stronger than with my mom.