How people see you [Archive]

Gabrielle

11-21-2007, 04:48 PM

We were discussing this in the chatroom, but I thought I'd like for the non-chat users' input as well.

Throughout my life, I've been tagged many words. "Loyal", "Dedicated", "hardworker", "intelligent" are some of the good words that are tagged on me.

The bad ones are (excuse the use of expletives): "asshole", "bitch", "socially inept", "dork", "nerd", e.t.c. e.t.c.

I don't know if this is my personal problem or it's something that a lot of misunderstood INTJ's suffer.

Any views? Comments? (No insults please, I've had enough of those... :-()

Oh, by the way, the trigger for this discussion was this (note: this is my blog, so please don't do the same thing those people did that caused me distress... I know you won't, but right now I'm a little paranoid):

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logan235711

11-21-2007, 05:17 PM

no one ever called me names--at least to my face ; ) but when I was younger I know many people considered me arrogant because of my introversion and bluntness. others thought I was too analytic. some were too nervous to approach me and still others wondered if I had any life outside of academics :p Now-a-days in my work environments, people know me generally as the nice guy and recently someone said that they considered me a person who was knowledgeable but never showed it off--which I believe they likened to humbleness. In another work environment I am considered a lively personality, often engaging in jokes, provoking thoughts, and general banter : )

Paul V

11-21-2007, 05:41 PM

Holier-than-thou, self-righteous, cold, uncaring, avoidant, anti-social, stick-up-the-ass, vindictive, passive-aggressive, elitist, etc, etc, etc. Too many to remember.

Oversphere

11-21-2007, 06:34 PM

People who don't know me very well often seem to think I'm an ISTJ. I'm a relatively responsible and competent person, and I don't draw attention to myself. Most people assume that these qualities can only be attributed to a very conventional person who "follows the rules". Little do they know that I have specific, unconventional reasons for my seemingly conventional behavior.

Nomad

11-21-2007, 07:42 PM

qwerty

11-21-2007, 08:06 PM

"Strange" comes up allot when me talk about me. Apart from that people don't usually give me any indication so I just roll on and imagine that I'm doing the right thing.

TruorTupnm

11-21-2007, 08:40 PM

It sounds like your personal problem as well as the problem of many others, not just the I. N. T. J. type. Don't most humans get insulted, at at least one point? I am certain that many others have even been handed the same set of insults.

Anyways, positive things: intelligent, reliable, creative, silly, pithy, honest, insightful, self-confident, charming, generous, interesting.

Negative things: closed-minded, arrogant, aggressively neutral, stubborn (not in a good way), hopeless, boring, creepy.

Mayhaps much doesn't get to me? I don't mind being thought of as weird or socially inept or distant. Those things usually attract like-minded humans.

elsdfr

11-21-2007, 09:01 PM

From memory some good and bad comments

Employer once said "I wish I could clone you, my life would be much easier"

Worked with this guy for a bit and he was probably a ESTP at a guess... after a year or two and turned around and out of no where said... "You're just a little bit crazy aren't you ...?" I would sometimes sit amazed at his ability to entertain people with simple conversation. I should mention he was an awesome Salesman as well, he could read people and moods like a book and know exactly how to fix it if he wanted. Me on the other hand (if I could ever do this) would do what ever served my interests best, first... like leaving.

The bad ones are probably from relationships... the one that got close to insulting me was "I really think you're emotionally and socially retarded, get help"... which I now accept but that was five years ago so kudos to her for picking up on it and having the balls to say it at the time, lol.

Typical of the type no doubt.

How they view me short or long term I have no idea. I used to try and think about it but its really screws with your head.

niffer

11-21-2007, 11:21 PM

oceanicon

11-21-2007, 11:41 PM

positive: intelligent (I hear this from people like my friends and even from my teachers), multi-talented, objective, individual, warm and friendly at times, etc...
negative: pig-headed, mr. knowsbest, cold, hard to get close to, weird

Firelie

11-21-2007, 11:41 PM

I've been called independent, bossy, selfish, demanding (those last two were from someone who doesn't know me, though, so I'm not sure whether to count them), quiet, clever, brave...that's about all I've heard to my face.

elsdfr

11-21-2007, 11:45 PM

positive: absurd, amusing, deep, protective, sharp-witted, strange, charming, etc..
negative: slut, hypocrite, dense, selfish, unreliable, lazy (these are the main negative ones, everything else is just synonyms for them)

Are you saying what ever the type you're always going to see similar negatives/positives?

I guess everyone can be everything given enough time. Some types are just more reserved on how they viewed in some circles I guess.

I don't know how many INTJ sluts are getting around though. lol

Personally if I haven't known someone or know them inside out prior and they touch me, my skin crawls.

mind_wander

11-22-2007, 10:35 AM

Bad: WTF are you talking about?[With a big blank face], your are very particular, very silent, Yo, speak up [3x what are you saying], Chinese racial jokes [list goes on- its more external, but most people don't know I am INTJ], definitely a real odd ball in the crowd, selfish, etc.

Good: Smart [Think outside the box approaches], know how to network and problem-solve, try to keep the internal peace within one another, got good sense of humor, friendly with people, glad to be with someone who listened to me[advice giver], etc.

Overall, everyone has their both bad and good. Without it, then we would not have the perfect balance.

WavesSootheMe

11-22-2007, 11:34 AM

In my sorority, I was known as the "nice bitch." Some people perceived me as a bitch because I'm a bit indifferent to traditions/ritual, I didn't do the whole fake, "no of course you're not fat" thing, and my selective sympathy sometimes confused them. However, I was never unnecessarily cruel or mean and when it was due, I'd help out in a heartbeat. When the group first met me, they found me very friendly and bubbly (I was in a goofy mood that day).

Overall, my only problems have been with the overwhelming extroverted types that think something is wrong with me for not being like them and/or take my initial indifference personally.

The Many

11-22-2007, 02:45 PM

Good: intelligent, deep, analytical, ambitious, self-confident, romantic (strangely enough), good-looking, funny etc that you get from girls... ohh, and I was told just earlier today that I was socially competent :lol:.

Bad: arrogant, pretentious, over-analytical, stubborn (is that really a bad thing?), set in my ways (strangely enough, again), surly

I've probably forgotten most things that have been said about me though. There are few comments that really mean anything to me, but someone I know said that having discussed things with me was what had given his thinking more development than anything else. That was nice to hear.

Bossy Mom

11-23-2007, 07:11 AM

In high school I was just "the bookworm" or "carrot top" (I have red hair). In college I "came on too strong." No one ever explained that, though.

Max T

11-23-2007, 07:54 AM

Negatives: detached, unsociable, tactless, 'something missing' (like a screw or a nut... or even asked if a gene missing! lol).

Pros: helpful, unassuming, loyal, insightful, calming.

ShaiGar

11-23-2007, 07:58 AM

Good: "you're horribly crazy. or rather maniacally insane.", intelligent, lateral thinker, fun, darkly humoured, "sweethearted book lover", "you have a heart of gold under all that ice", giving

Bad: pretentious, deeply spiritual, cold heated, arsehole, psychotic, standoffish

Most people just consider me the standoffish verbose quiet guy who's always happy. Those who have seen me go from being happy and carefree to angry consider me bipolar. And for some reason I always seem to generate a "don't touch me" field, even when i'm smiling and laughing.

aude

11-23-2007, 01:41 PM

I been called a lot of things. The typical ones said before. And many others. Like evil, distant, corner warmer, prudent, i have sick humour, menacing and so many more.

aude

11-23-2007, 01:42 PM

niffer

11-24-2007, 02:42 AM

Are you saying what ever the type you're always going to see similar negatives/positives?

I guess everyone can be everything given enough time. Some types are just more reserved on how they viewed in some circles I guess.

I don't know how many INTJ sluts are getting around though. lol

Personally if I haven't known someone or know them inside out prior and they touch me, my skin crawls.

What I meant was that those are the main negative traits that people impose upon me, not people in general.

Hypomanic

11-24-2007, 03:14 AM

Oh, I'm definitely an INTj slut. :lips:

Ijz

11-24-2007, 03:48 AM

I'm difficult to type for most people. One of the main reasons is that I used to "fake" to be different a lot in the past, which created confusing signals for my surroundings. One friend recently told me "you're just you" which I liked because I detest any kind of stereotypes being pinned on me or others.

I used to be bothered by how people see me in the past though. Nowadays I'm not bothered by it at all. I've come to the conclusion that when I judge others by their appearance or talk, I will also feel judged by them. Hence I've stopped judging people like that and now "how others see me" doesn't bother me anymore.

vision

11-24-2007, 04:53 AM

Negatives: quiet, shy, have a problem, weird, boring.

Positives: intelligent, creative, deep, reliable, competent

binofhay

11-24-2007, 07:37 AM

Negative: Ridiculous, absurd, stubborn, mysterious, aloof, selfish, stoic, hypercritical, anti-social, difficult, picky, sanctimonious, oversensitive, fickle, defiant, aggressive...some of these traits I have no problem embracing/acknowledging :-)

Positive: Loyal, reliable, trustworthy, honest, hard-worker, perceptive, original thinker, will bend over backwards for good friends or people I like/respect, non-gossiper (most people feel at ease telling me secrets because they know I won't relay their info)

mind_wander

11-24-2007, 09:30 AM

Oh, I'm definitely an INTj slut. :lips:

lol, its kinda true ha. ENTP's are cool people, working with one right now; very harilous and whacky, go off tangent, but very innovative. Just takes time, for me to put the scattered pieces into a full picture. Likes to spit out ideas, like no tomorrow and great at refuting any ideas and very easily distracted (Just general observations with ENTP's). Overall, great to work with, not sure ever get things done, but are on the same page :)

Myrak

11-25-2007, 11:44 PM

Positive: Logical, trustworthy, great sense of humour, reliable, loyal, honest, perceptive, debates with fervour, non-gossiper also (I hate other people's gossip so people usually just volunteer their secrets to me O.o)

Negative: Sarcastic, cynical, anti-social, blunt, straight-to-the-point, quiet, reserved, but I embrace most of these so it's not a problem.

rwyatt365

11-26-2007, 07:31 AM

Negative; weird, uncaring, heartless, arrogant, antisocial
Positive; intelligent, quick-witted, dedicated, loyal

Epicurus

11-26-2007, 12:09 PM

Uhm not so many name callings towards me atleast not directly but I know what they feel. :P You've already mentioned about everything and without reading all I know its just about right all off it.

Wildflower

11-26-2007, 01:32 PM

Negative: cold, arrogant, boring, dreamer, strange, passive, "bad attitude", "You just don't care about anything", "You cut people with your eyes", pretentious (this was by in-laws because I like classical music), too sensitive (usually told this by people who already said the previous list!).

Positive : Intelligent, eloquent in writing, funny, kind, sweet, unique, able to connect patterns, think outside box, sincere, creative, caring, nuturing.

RoqueBear

11-26-2007, 02:46 PM

LOL, pretentious seems to stand out amongst us.

Bad: Pretentious, Homebody, Intimidating, Picky, Perfectionist, Long winded, Ambivalent, Anti-Social, Fire Hose of Information, Sarcastic, "Think Your **** Don't Stink".

Good: Intelligent, Consistent, Honest, Creative, Logical, Listener, Thinker, Communicator, Insightful, Ambitious, Leader.

I embrace the negative with the positive.

banzai

11-26-2007, 09:44 PM

Uncomfortably perceptive, reserved, well spoken, wise...

Intimidating, stubborn, difficult, decidedly unstimulating at times, and most of all, arrogant beyond identification.

mind_wander

11-27-2007, 05:04 AM

LOL, pretentious seems to stand out amongst us.

Yeah, I forgot all about that; its a big one that I missed out on. Thanx, for bringing that up :)

cielo market

11-27-2007, 09:41 AM

I try to make sure most people don't know I exist. Otherwise:

Negative: standoff-ish, aloof, stoic, arrogant (only to those closest to me), anti-social, unattached, quiet, pensive?

Positive: Focused, independent, analytical, confident (only to those closest to me), creative, clever, sharp, "smart"

Solaris

11-27-2007, 10:30 AM

I'm just going to lump them all together: loyal, loud, direct/blunt, funny, not girly, smart, private, shy (hahahah this makes me laugh...I like to observe first, and it's often misinterpreted), sarcastic, easy to read (but only for those who know me well...my face says everything my mouth doesn't), intense, persistent, a planner, surprisingly emotional writer, and I've been called both closed off and wide open.

OneBadMother

11-27-2007, 10:40 AM

The Good: Funny, intelligent, creative.
The Bad: Cold, distant, oblivious.
The Ambiguous: "Like a guy", androgynous.

HarleyQuinn

11-27-2007, 01:53 PM

Positive: "You're Insane" (A friend after reading a short story I had written for class. Dark subject matter), Reserved, Logical, Extremely Intelligent, Thinks Outside the Box, Observant/Perceptive, Cocky (the guy said I had a cocky walk technically), Quick to Please, Reliable, Independent, Good Orator, Very Imaginative/Creative

Negative: Very Serious, Arrogant, Big Shot/Holier Than Thou, Shy, Quiet, Isolates Self, Tactless, Can't Lead, Daydreams, Head in the Clouds, Mysterious, Enigma

Bear Warp

11-27-2007, 05:27 PM

Positive- Creative, Observant, Smart, Honest, Funny
Negative- Sketchy, Weird, Quiet, Strange, Stressed (I honestly can't understand why), Serious

I tend to confuse or even bother people who I don't know, which I find hilarious. Some people think they can easily intimidate me. Once people have warmed up to me (and vice-versa) they can't seem to ignore me. I become the damned center of attention, and then all I can do is humor them (I like to stay as neutral as possible with friends and family).

Allie

11-28-2007, 07:18 AM

Negative: Reserved, quiet, stuck up, strange, different, serious, shy, loner, brooding.

Positive: Smart/intelligent, analytical, straightforward, sharp-tongue, honest, loyal, pretty...but :P

Neutral: Think like a man (from my best friend).

Hdier

11-28-2007, 08:32 AM

Positive: Smart (and synonyms), Generous (and synonyms), Kind (and...you get the picture), caring, talented, etc.

Negative: Various swear words I don't want to post (using school laptop), Ugly, Fat, Cold, Long-Winded (my writing speech teacher), Faggot, etc.

INTJoe

11-28-2007, 04:25 PM

I was called "the strong silent type" by one of my old bosses. We were talking about my girlfriend and he was like "She likes 'the strong silent type' huh?" I'd say he was right. I would imagine most INTJ's would be viewed as "the strong, silent type".

I'm pretty sure he was ENTJ...maybe ENTP. But definitely he was ENT and he was a hard-ass corporate bully. Smart, knowledgeable guy. Would sometimes make rude ENTP-ish comments that were offensive but he was also very strategic like a J.

chikwbrains

11-30-2007, 07:49 PM

I've been called cold (by my mother) and menacing ( by my closest friend) as having no social filters( by my roommate it took her awhile to figure out there was no malice involved)) Distant (By virtually all girlfriends).

I've been called, funny, goofy, wise, charming, no one to fuck with, tough (tough comes up a lot), fair minded, independent.....

I think that we are not just our INTJ-ness. We can be more, if we choose.

-Nomad

Hey, Im new to this forum, I was amazed about how correct the test was! Whats funnier is that your post just described what has been said about me! Even the mother one. I believe it was "cold, unfeeling bitch" My mom is an emotional train wreck and she and many others just dont understand why I tend to stay calm cool and collected. Anyway, this is SO interesting!

Wildflower

12-02-2007, 01:52 AM

Originally Posted by Nomad
I've been called cold (by my mother)...

...Whats funnier is that your post just described what has been said about me! Even the mother one. I believe it was "cold, unfeeling bitch" My mom is an emotional train wreck ...

Yes, it was my Fe dom mother who most often called me a "cold B**** " as I was growing up, usually screamed at me with tears running down her face. She was also an emotional train wreck much of the time. I could never give her enough Fe to make her feel loved. If I had not had an INTJ father to give some kind of counterbalancing feedback to that, I don't know what shape I would be in now.

quentin

12-03-2007, 03:20 AM

People change. At a different time in my life I would have been called arrogant, anti-social, aloof, and angry. Now people routinely comment on my lack of self-confidence. The reason I think is that as in my 30s I am trying to make a serious effort to force myself to become more of a social creature, I stumble and fall a lot. I make a lot of mistakes dealing with people and as we all know, INTJs don't handle failure very well. Every time I screw something up in a social situation I feel like such a loser that it keeps chipping away at my internal confidence. Other negatives I get are awkward, excessively blunt, repressed, I take things too seriously, lighten up, cynical, sarcastic, I make people uncomfortable. I either keep quiet or talk too much.

Positives - INTELLIGENT. I get that so much that I don't even care. Clever, witty, loyal, charming (when I make an effort to be), kind, stand-up kind of guy who's always there for his friends, wise, a good listener, observant.

Wildflower

12-03-2007, 03:33 PM

I take things too seriously, lighten up, cynical, sarcastic, I make people uncomfortable. I either keep quiet or talk too much.

Whenever I get into my "I am going to be more social" phases, I run into these same problems, especially the too quiet then talk too much thing. It is like I don't have the same modulation that others find so easy.

greenmnm

12-04-2007, 01:53 PM

Holier-than-thou, self-righteous, cold, uncaring, avoidant, anti-social, stick-up-the-ass, vindictive, passive-aggressive, elitist, etc, etc, etc. Too many to remember.

Indeed lol

Might I also add that Nerd and Geek are not bad things to be called :p